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Old 11-26-2015, 07:00 AM   #436
DanaC
We have to go back, Kate!
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Yorkshire
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Inf, that one made me want to cry. Very lovely.
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Old 12-11-2015, 01:25 AM   #437
Crimson Ghost
Larger than life and twice as ugly.
 
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It's Beginning To Look Alot Like Syphilis
By John Valby

It's beginning to look a lot like syphilis all arround my nose.
I picked him up at the 5 and 10, he buttfucked me once and then,
He lodged a candy cane up my asshole.
It's beginning to look a lot like syphilis, boy is my ass sore.
But the prettiest sight to see is his pecker to his knees when I'm on all fours.
A pair of hopalong boots and a pistol that shoots is much too much to ignore.
First we will talk and then go for a walk but I hope he wants to do more.
And Mom and Dad can hardly wait for me to fuck a whore.
It's beginning to look a lot like syphilis, but I still like boys more.
But the ugliest site to see is the canker that will be on my own back door.

Merry Christmas, fuckers.
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We must all go through a rite of passage. It must be physical, it must be painful, and it must leave a mark.

I have no knowledge of the events which you are describing, and if I did have knowledge of them,
I would be unable to discuss them with you now or at any future period.



Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years
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Old 12-11-2015, 01:27 AM   #438
DanaC
We have to go back, Kate!
 
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Outstanding!
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There's only so much punishment a man can take in pursuit of punani. - Sundae
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Old 12-11-2015, 04:00 PM   #439
Gravdigr
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Location: South Central...KY that is
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Name:  claptux.gif
Views: 1171
Size:  124.9 KB
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Old 12-12-2015, 09:55 AM   #440
Griff
still says videotape
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
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Ha!
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Old 12-14-2015, 12:35 PM   #441
glatt
 
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Location: Arlington, VA
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Name:  tumblr_nys29c7Nl81txw7lto1_500.png
Views: 1067
Size:  21.5 KB
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Old 05-18-2016, 01:46 AM   #442
Crimson Ghost
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The Buoys - Timothy


Trapped in a mine that had caved in
And everyone knows the only ones left
Were Joe and me and Tim
When they broke through to pull us free
The only ones left to tell the tale
Were Joe and me

Timothy, Timothy, where on earth did you go?
Timothy, Timothy, God why don't I know?

Hungry as hell no food to eat
And Joe said that he would sell his soul
For just a piece of meat
Water enough to drink for two
And Joe said to me, "I'll have a swig
And then there's some for you."

Timothy, Timothy, Joe was looking at you
Timothy, Timothy, God what did we do?

I must have blacked out just around then
'Cause the very next thing that I could see
Was the light of the day again
My stomach was full as it could be
And nobody ever got around
To finding Timothy
Timothy...


Timothy, Timothy, where on earth did you go?
Timothy, Timothy, God why don't I know?
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We must all go through a rite of passage. It must be physical, it must be painful, and it must leave a mark.

I have no knowledge of the events which you are describing, and if I did have knowledge of them,
I would be unable to discuss them with you now or at any future period.



Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years
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Old 05-18-2016, 09:57 AM   #443
Gravdigr
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If we're ever trapped here in the Cellar...






...You guys can eat me.
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Old 05-18-2016, 10:07 AM   #444
Undertoad
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I met Jerry Hludzik, the dude who sang that, when I worked at a small record label in 2005.

I don't think they made much money from it as they were not the songwriter. Rupert Holmes wrote it. This is the Rupert Holmes who would go on to chart success a few years later with "Escape (The Piña Colada Song)".
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Old 05-18-2016, 11:30 AM   #445
Gravdigr
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I still think 'piña colada' sounds like a medical procedure.
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Old 05-18-2016, 10:19 PM   #446
lumberjim
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gravdigr View Post
If we're ever trapped here in the Cellar...






...You guys can eat me.
Ok, but I'm not gonna be the one that has to pluck you
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Old 05-21-2016, 03:28 AM   #447
BigV
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Seattle
Posts: 27,063
"My Dick"

My dick cost a late night fee
Your dick got the HIV
My dick plays on the double feature screen
Your dick went straight to DVD

My dick - bigger than a bridge
Your dick look like a little kid's
My dick - large like the Chargers, the whole team
Your shit look like you fourteen

My dick - locked in a cage, right
Your dick suffer from stage fright
My dick - so hot, it's stolen
Your dick look like Gary Coleman

My dick - pink and big
Your dick stinks like shit
My dick got a Caesar do,
Your dick needs a tweezer, dude

My dick is like super size
Your dick look like two fries
My dick - more mass than the Earth
Your dick - half staff, it needs work

My dick - been there done that
Your dick sits there with dunce cap
My dick - V.I.P.
Your shit needs I.D.

It's time that we let the world know
Dude, you gotta let your girl go
D.S. is the best in the business
P.S. we got dicks like Jesus

It's time that we let the world know
Dude, you gotta let your girl go
D.S. is the best in the business
P.S. we got dicks like Jesus

My dick need no introduction
Your dick don't even function
My dick served a whole luncheon
Your dick - it look like a munchkin

My dick - size of a pumpkin
Your dick look like Macaulay Culkin
My dick - good good lovin'
Your dick - good for nothin'

My dick bench pressed 350
Your dick couldn't shoplift at Thrifty
My dick - pretty damn skippy
Your dick - hungry as a hippie

My dick don't fit down the chimney
Your dick is like a kid from the Philippines
My dick is like an M16
Your dick - broken vending machine

My dick parts the seas
Your dick farts and queefs
My dick - rumble in the jungle
Your dick got touched by your uncle

My dick goes to yoga
Your dick - fruit roll -up
My dick - grade -A beef
Your dick - Mayday geek

My dick - sick and dangerous
Your dick - quick and painless
My dick - 'nuff said.
Your dick loves Fred

It's time that we let the world know
Dude, you gotta let your girl go
D.S. is the best in the business
P.S. we got dicks like Jesus

It's time that we let the world know
Dude, you gotta let your girl go
D.S. is the best in the business
P.S. we got dicks like Jesus
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Old 04-28-2017, 02:10 PM   #448
Gravdigr
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Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
Ok, it was the bartender, not the waitress, but still...



I went home with a waitress the way I always do
How was I to know she was with the russians, too?

I was gambling in havana, I took a little risk
Send lawyers, guns, and money
Dad, get me out of this, hiyah!

An innocent bystander
Somehow I got stuck between a rock and a hard place
And I'm down on my luck
Yes, I'm down on my luck
Well, I'm down on my luck

I'm hiding in honduras, I'm a desperate man
Send lawyers, guns, and money
The shit has hit the fan

Send lawyers, guns, and money
Send lawyers, guns, and money

Send lawyers, guns, and money, hiyah!
Send lawyers, guns, and money, ow!



I was looking around for a ride home. The bartendress said she'd take me home. And then I drank for free for an hour waiting for her to clean up and close. And then she took me home.

Her home.



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Old 04-28-2017, 02:22 PM   #449
Gravdigr
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Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
I forgot this one:...

She's a talker.
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Old 04-29-2017, 09:33 AM   #450
Snakeadelic
Banned
 
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 660
The times are tough now
Just gettin tougher
This old world is rough
It's just getting rougher

Cover me
Come on baby cover me

Well I'm lookin for a lover
Who will come on in and cover me

Promise me baby
You won't let them find us
Hold me in your arms
Let's let our love blind us
Cover me
Shut the door and cover me

Well I'm lookin for a lover
Who will come on in and cover me

Outside's the rain
The driving snow
I can hear the wild wind blowing
Turn out the light
Bolt the door
I ain't goin' out there no more

This whole world is out there
Just trying to score
I've seen enough don't wanna see no more
Cover me
Come on in and cover me

I'm looking for a lover who will come on in and cover me

(some lyrics repeat until the end)
-----

I tend to retreat into this one when stressed (especially in winter). It took me until I was 32 to find someone who WOULD cover me when I felt attacked.
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