|
03-16-2012, 02:41 PM
|
#4486 |
|
Person who doesn't update the user title
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 13,002
|
An Irish priest was transferred to Texas. Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new Texas mission parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.
He promptly called the local police station. The conversation went like this: "Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?" "And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St. Ann 's Catholic Church. There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn and would ye be so kind as to send a couple o'yer lads to take care of the matter?" Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk, "Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!" There was dead silence on the line for a long moment....... Father O'Malley then replied: "Aye, 'tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin first, which is the reason for my call." |
|
|
|
03-16-2012, 02:47 PM
|
#4487 |
|
To shreds, you say?
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
|
that's racist.
__________________
The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs |
|
|
|
|
03-16-2012, 02:48 PM
|
#4488 |
|
Person who doesn't update the user title
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 13,002
|
It offends jackasses? Sorry, man.
|
|
|
|
|
03-16-2012, 07:26 PM
|
#4489 |
|
To shreds, you say?
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
|
That's gonna leave a mark. If I had feelings, they'd be hurt.
__________________
The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs |
|
|
|
|
03-16-2012, 07:28 PM
|
#4490 |
|
Person who doesn't update the user title
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 13,002
|
And then he cried.
The moral of the story is: don't mess with white chicks Ba DUM dum (did I miss any?) You ain't no jackass, btw!
|
|
|
|
|
03-27-2012, 06:46 PM
|
#4491 |
|
Professor
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Brest (FRANCE)
Posts: 1,837
|
What is pink, eighteen centimeters long that is desired by nearly all 18 years old French girls?
A driving licence
__________________
"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce |
|
|
|
|
03-27-2012, 08:01 PM
|
#4492 |
|
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
|
Your drivers licenses are printed on long pink dildos?!
|
|
|
|
|
03-28-2012, 09:34 AM
|
#4493 |
|
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 3,338
|
Eighteen centimeters works out to be a tad over seven inches. Not what *I* call long, but who am I to judge your standards?
 Pam
__________________
Never be afraid to tell the world who you are. -- Anonymous |
|
|
|
|
03-28-2012, 10:17 AM
|
#4494 |
|
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
|
You have to admit it's pretty big for a license, though. Wouldn't fit in my wallet.
|
|
|
|
|
03-28-2012, 05:02 PM
|
#4495 |
|
To shreds, you say?
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
|
Who keeps a dildo in her wallet? Or is that slang for your special purpose?
__________________
The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs |
|
|
|
|
03-28-2012, 07:55 PM
|
#4496 | |
|
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
|
Quote:
|
|
|
|
|
|
03-28-2012, 11:10 PM
|
#4497 |
|
Junior Master Dwellar
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 2,728
|
|
|
|
|
|
03-28-2012, 11:35 PM
|
#4498 |
|
a beautiful fool
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: 39.939705
Posts: 4,504
|
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A Walk.
__________________
There's a Shadow just behind me. Shrouding every step I take. Making every promise empty, pointing every finger at me. _tool |
|
|
|
|
03-29-2012, 02:19 PM
|
#4499 |
|
Professor
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Brest (FRANCE)
Posts: 1,837
|
The French driving licence is really a three fold pink paper. I just took out the tape, mine is even 21 cm.
__________________
"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce |
|
|
|
 |
| Tags |
| humor |
| Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 8 (0 members and 8 guests) | |
|
|
Linear Mode
