Humor...I Need Humor... - Page 371

footfootfoot · 01-10-2017, 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gravdigr

Two matronly sisters lived together and managed a farm. For years both had an extreme fear of thunder storms and lightning.

One day one of the sisters was visiting a neighbor, and while walking home was caught in a severe thunder storm. Lightning was streaking across the sky and thunder was booming all around. Being totally terrified, she ran to a nearby haystack and buried her head in the hay like an ostrich, so she could not see the lightning or hear the thunder.

With her head buried in the hay, her rear end was exposed, and the wind blew her dress up exposing the long unused part of her anatomy.

Along comes the local stud, and seeing the poor souls predicament, he did the only thing a well endowed stud would do in such a situation. After fully satisfying himself he zipped his pants and went on his merry way.

Soon the sister pulled her head out of the haystack and rushed home, calling to her sister, "Sissy, Sissy, let me tell you something! If you ever get struck by lightning, you'll never be afraid again!!"

Umm, I don't get it. Being raped is worse than thunder and lightning?

Gravdigr · 01-10-2017, 02:24 PM

Humor is difficult for you, isn't it?

footfootfoot · 01-10-2017, 04:30 PM

We all have our cross to bear.

katfiche · 01-10-2017, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

That was THE joke when I was in high school. Like, it got told every day. And then we were told we had to stop, not because it was annoying, but because it was not a good idea to throw around the phrase "we don't serve your kind here."

Fortunately, 40 years ago we weren't burdened with second guessing our every utterance beyond intent.

xoxoxoBruce · 01-10-2017, 08:30 PM

45 years ago I have two mechanics working for me. The black mechanic stuck with me all the time, a good worker, and told me stories about being in the military and in Oregon he could buy a pair of shoes but couldn't try them on in the store. The white mechanic would sneak off at the slightest pretense to indulge his wood carving hobby.

One day The black mechanic and I were discussing the white mechanic, and I said he's a real nigger. The guys head spun around about three times then stopped and looked at me. Finally he said, well at least you know what it is. We were fast friends after that.

xoxoxoBruce · 01-16-2017, 05:45 AM

Black or whit, men will always be trying to figure out women.

Gravdigr · 01-16-2017, 03:13 PM

I have seen that situation exact.

With murdersickles, and car/truck/tractor/lawn mower engines...

xoxoxoBruce · 02-05-2017, 01:22 PM

This could be wishful thinking...

xoxoxoBruce · 02-09-2017, 02:52 PM

Oh yeah, ♪ If I could, I surely would ♫

Giselle · 02-12-2017, 12:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

Oh yeah, ♪ If I could, I surely would ♫

Without humor, it is impossible to live!)) Very bad when a person has no sense of humor))

xoxoxoBruce · 02-12-2017, 04:56 PM

No sense of humor makes life a living hell.

glatt · 02-15-2017, 04:27 PM

Q: What's E.T. short for?

A: His legs aren't very long.

captainhook455 · 02-15-2017, 09:59 PM

Q: what does a blonde think of?
A:

tarheel

Gravdigr · 02-16-2017, 01:42 PM

Wait.

WAIT.

WAIT.

They think?

xoxoxoBruce · 02-18-2017, 04:52 PM

true...

01-10-2017, 02:24 PM	#5552
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Humor is difficult for you, isn't it? __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

01-10-2017, 04:30 PM	#5553
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	We all have our cross to bear. __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

01-10-2017, 08:30 PM	#5555
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	45 years ago I have two mechanics working for me. The black mechanic stuck with me all the time, a good worker, and told me stories about being in the military and in Oregon he could buy a pair of shoes but couldn't try them on in the store. The white mechanic would sneak off at the slightest pretense to indulge his wood carving hobby. One day The black mechanic and I were discussing the white mechanic, and I said he's a real nigger. The guys head spun around about three times then stopped and looked at me. Finally he said, well at least you know what it is. We were fast friends after that. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

01-16-2017, 05:45 AM	#5556
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Black or whit, men will always be trying to figure out women. Attached Images __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

01-16-2017, 03:13 PM	#5557
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	I have seen that situation exact. With murdersickles, and car/truck/tractor/lawn mower engines... __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

02-05-2017, 01:22 PM	#5558
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	This could be wishful thinking... Attached Images __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

02-09-2017, 02:52 PM	#5559
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Oh yeah, ♪ If I could, I surely would ♫ Attached Images __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

02-12-2017, 04:56 PM	#5561
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	No sense of humor makes life a living hell. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

02-15-2017, 04:27 PM	#5562
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	Q: What's E.T. short for? A: His legs aren't very long.

02-15-2017, 09:59 PM	#5563
captainhook455 Rapscallion Join Date: Aug 2016 Posts: 1,357	Q: what does a blonde think of? A: tarheel

02-16-2017, 01:42 PM	#5564
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Wait. WAIT. WAIT. They think? __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

02-18-2017, 04:52 PM	#5565
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	true... Attached Images __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

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