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Old 03-08-2011, 02:25 PM   #6301
monster
I hear them call the tide
 
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Well the numbness is just about gone, so I ate a Packzi and got fatter.

While I was waiting for the anaesthetic to kick in, they forced me to watch Ellen and the commercials were on. There was a buy one get one free deal on at a plastic surgery clinic and as the offer flashed up, boobs were shown in the back ground. Srsly, with a few exceptions, who's going to buy one tit?

I'd have liposuction/tummy tuck. Is that two procedures? Have I already used up my "free"? Of course I'd never actually have elective surgery, but you know... I'd love to be thinner, I'm failing using the willpower/diet/exercise approach. badly
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Old 03-08-2011, 02:59 PM   #6302
Shawnee123
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I know what you mean. I think if I could just take a machete and slice my belly off, then maybe glue it back together...

I'll do really great then fail, then fail then do really great.

I think we're forgetting something: we're awesome just as we are.
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Old 03-08-2011, 03:08 PM   #6303
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shawnee123 View Post
I was thinking about dating my dead dentist, before he was dead.
It's the old Buddy Hackett joke.

A woman goes to the dentist and he tells her she needs a root canal.

"Oh no a root canal! The last one I had was terrible. I'd rather go through childbirth again!"

"Well make up your mind, lady, I've got to adjust the chair."
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Old 03-08-2011, 03:08 PM   #6304
monster
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And now I've wasted the whole day feeling sorry for myself.
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Old 03-08-2011, 03:18 PM   #6305
Shawnee123
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That helps, make yourself feel bad for feeling badly.

I've felt sorry for myself all day but I've still accomplished some stuff. Now THAT'S tenacity.
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Old 03-08-2011, 03:34 PM   #6306
monster
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That helps, make yourself feel bad for feeling badly.
Yup, that's me all over. hmph.
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Old 03-08-2011, 03:35 PM   #6307
Shawnee123
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Peas in a pod, it seems.

Whirled Peas.
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Old 03-08-2011, 05:06 PM   #6308
monster
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Just what I wished for.....
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Old 03-08-2011, 09:59 PM   #6309
limey
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Quote:
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And then, Shawnee chuckled.
I like when Shawnee chuckles ...
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Old 03-08-2011, 11:19 PM   #6310
monster
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Quote:
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I like when Shawnee chuckles ...
..because you know you'll soon be receiving a supply of hobo offal for your haggis business?
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Old 03-09-2011, 08:16 AM   #6311
Shawnee123
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Quote:
Originally Posted by limey View Post
I like when Shawnee chuckles ...
Chuck likes it too!

Quote:
Originally Posted by monster View Post
..because you know you'll soon be receiving a supply of hobo offal for your haggis business?
Which got me thinking. We should be prepared to start a post-apocalyptic restaurant chain: The Offal House.

Zombies be stumblin' in around 2:30 a.m. after the bars close (monster, I bet a lot of them hang out at Z's) saying "I'm so hungry I could eat some whores!"
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Old 03-09-2011, 08:24 AM   #6312
monster
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I just got an email from Hector's Hockey team. Apparently it was naive of me not to realise that he would be expected to take a day off school to play in a local tournament.
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Old 03-09-2011, 08:26 AM   #6313
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Your priorities are obviously out of whack.
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Old 03-09-2011, 08:29 AM   #6314
monster
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It's a fucking house team and the season is over. Now I get to be the bad guy if I say no. He's their only goalie, no-one else has been in net all year because he's never missed a game. He's looking forward to the tourney. but it's not OK. you don't just dump school. I'm in shock. And beest's too busy at work to discuss it now. Which is not his fault, but I don't know what to do
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Old 03-09-2011, 08:35 AM   #6315
Shawnee123
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My niece was invited to play on a travelling softball team that would keep her away from home, sometimes school, sometimes overnight. She's freaking 10 years old. Brother was like "yeah, no. I know you love softball and are very good at it, but that's unreasonable."

Why would they schedule tournaments like that? Isn't that what weekends are for?

(Side note: cubey guy is playing pouty face with me today. Whuddever. It'll give him more to talk about. If people aren't talking about you, I guess you're boring.)
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