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#721 | |
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
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Quote:
"But I'm not pointing it at you, so it's okay." "No, it's never okay in front of other people. You have to be by yourself, no one else in the room." "I will close my eyes, then no one else will be here." "No!" |
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#722 | |
barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy.
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 23,401
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Quote:
lol @ minifob.
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"like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt |
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#723 |
polaroid of perfection
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: West Yorkshire
Posts: 24,185
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There is a theory that the more testosterone a woman's womb is subjected to, the more it reacts against it. Hence younger sons being obliged to go into the Church.
Uh-huh. Max is gay. He'll be doodle obsessed for life.
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Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac |
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#724 |
Encroaching on your decrees
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland
Posts: 7,016
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What about Ali's next one, then
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#725 |
polaroid of perfection
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: West Yorkshire
Posts: 24,185
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She'll be okay.
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Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac |
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#726 |
Non-Newbie Sort
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Foster City, CA
Posts: 6
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I believe there was something on '60 Minutes' about this. They do not know why, but statistically the more boys a woman has, the newest boy has a much larger tendency to be gay than the previous - something I like to mention to my Dad who was the third boy born to Grandma.
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#727 | |
Doctor Wtf
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Badelaide, Baustralia
Posts: 12,861
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Quote:
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Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl. |
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#728 | |
To shreds, you say?
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
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Quote:
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The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs |
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#729 | |
lobber of scimitars
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Phila Burbs
Posts: 20,774
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Quote:
(calling momwolf "mother" was my equivalent for her using my first, middle, and last name at the beginning of a comment)
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![]() ![]() "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis |
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#730 | |
barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy.
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 23,401
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Quote:
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"like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt |
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#731 |
To shreds, you say?
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
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This morning I sat down at the breakfast table and discovered that there was honey all over the chair as my newly washed jeans stuck in place when I tried to shift position.
I got up and said in a semi loud voice, “I am not happy.” Of course, I immediately thought of the joke about the guy who rear-ends a midget and I told it to the wife and kids while they were eating breakfast. Me: My (imaginary) friend, Jim Helm, was driving his car to work and he rear-ended a guy. They guy stops his car, gets out and Jim sees that the guy is a dwarf. The guy marches up to Jim’s car, looking furious. Enraged, he shouts “I AM NOT HAPPY.” Jim looks at him and asks, “OK, then which one are you?” Wife: (Mostly to the children as she knows I am a lost cause) We shouldn’t mock the afflicted. It isn’t easy to be a dwarf. Me: (Thinking) Oh I don’t know, I bet it comes naturally to them… I can see the wheels turning in son’s head, but still no light coming on. Wife: In the story of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves the dwarves all have names, one of them is named Happy, at least in the Disney version. Me: They had names like, Happy, Goofy, Sneezey, Sleepy, Grumpy… Daughter: (helpfully) Maybe then the one your friend hit was Grumpy.
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The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs |
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#732 |
Person who doesn't update the user title
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 13,002
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Ha! Your kids have your sense of humor. BRAVO!
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#733 |
To shreds, you say?
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
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It's true, though the daughter is still young enough that she thought it really happened and that the dwarf must have been Grumpy.
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The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs |
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#734 |
Person who doesn't update the user title
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 13,002
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Ahhh, but that's a clever mind at work. My youngest niece is (of course) getting older but her responses, while innocent enough, were indicative of the great sense of humor that was to come. She might not have known exactly why it was the perfect response, but the perfect response it was!
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#735 |
Non-Newbie Sort
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Foster City, CA
Posts: 6
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I thought it was interesting to hear my son, when he was about 3, refer to a black/African American person in his preschool as having a "chocolate face".
It makes sense, since "black" is literally incorrect, since nobody is that color, and for some reason he did not associate "brown", he used chocolate. At first I thought "Is that offensive"? and then thought "this is actually quite a pleasant term. Everyone loves chocolate". He also referred to C3PO as "that belly-button guy" back then. |
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humor |
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