What's upsetting you today? - Page 650

DanaC · 02-14-2014, 06:48 PM

For a bedroom in a shared flat in that part of the country, you're looking at a minimum of £80 per week if you go for a private let.

And it is standard practice to ask for 1-2 months down plus twice the monthly rent as deposit.

£1400 or thereabouts.

How long do you imagine that takes to save on minimum wage?

monster · 02-14-2014, 07:20 PM

is that directed at me? if so, I have no idea, which is why I asked. I'm guessing from the tone of your response that the answer is that that is not a realistic option, but I hope I'm wrong because unless things have changes drastically for the better, I don't see the council being overly sympathetic to a single adult with no kids.

So next avenue... could you rent from your parents, Sundae, seeing as they don't need to sell in order to make the move? Maybe they'd feel more comfortable about the "expanding to fill the space" thing if you had a formal, signed rental agreement?

DanaC · 02-14-2014, 07:32 PM

Sorry. That was way snippier than was warranted :p

I've been in a bitch of a mood all day.

Sundae · 02-14-2014, 10:12 PM

A room in a shared house now costs £400. Without overtime I take home less than £600.
So things are very tight.

My parents have to sell to meet the conditions of the charity they will be renting from. Absolutely no income from property allowed. Of course they would be allowed overlap between owning property and renting the flat, because this is the real world and you don't sell your house on the day you move out of it, but as far as me renting from them, that's a definite no.

And re working full time, again no.
I applied for a full time position and only got 17.5 hours. The only people employed full time in the store are Managers. In fact most shifts are deliberately under 4 hours so that you don't qualify for a break. It's very common now. At least I'm not on a zero hours contract.

I can still pick up overtime here and there, but I can't guarantee it.
And it's not so much the initial moving costs which are the problem, as Mum says they will meet those, especially if I'm not going to America. It's the day to day living which is stretching out in front of me and making me distressed.

monster · 02-14-2014, 10:31 PM

Is there any chance you could get full time at another supermarket now that you have experience and a proven track record? (and bakery experience

)

Seems so "out of the blue" for your parents to do this. sucks.

Sundae · 02-14-2014, 11:03 PM

It does suck the big fat one, but a do have the crumb of comfort that that are doing the right thing for them. Mum's life will be happier because of it, and she's been unhappy for quite a while now.

Urgh. Bakery.
If I thought that was my only option I'd stick my head in the oven. Although I'd just get burned, as they're all electric of course.
I'm looking. One of the reasons I'm between a rock and a hard place is that here in Aylesbury we have way below the national level of unemployment. But that's masked by the fact many people have been pushed into part time employment. So we don't draw benefits, but we do rely on other people to live.

For many of my colleagues this is their partner, for me it was my parents. Although I always contributed and tried to pay my way, I was never paying them as much as a lodger would have. And Mum brushed off anything they would have paid whether I was here on not: TV licence, Internet, phone (which I never used but was great for incoming calls), heating. She just said I more than made up for that by my cooking and baking.

She has said that she'll do all my washing and I can use the Internet there, and eat there at least twice a week. Like I said before though, it's the change. And the fear. I can get help to manage financially, I hope. But no-one can help with me losing my tenuous peace of mind.

I think that's why my first reaction was la la la fingers in ears, going to America, commit suicide when I come home.
I've rethought part of that "plan".

monster · 02-14-2014, 11:37 PM

I know you can drive but don't -do you have a license?

Sundae · 02-14-2014, 11:43 PM

Oh yes, just can't afford to keep a car on the road. Petrol, insurance, MOT, tax, potholes...

monster · 02-15-2014, 12:05 AM

yes, I know that, but was wondering about a camper, seeing as summer is coming up. maybe a second-hand one costs about the same as a plane ticket to the US but you can live in it. and tour the UK. straws I know, but sometimes a brainstorn yield unexpectes leads. my friends did that for a year or two -set up in static caravan parks

OK I'm off to bed.

orthodoc · 02-15-2014, 01:19 AM

Change sucks, for the most part - especially when not chosen. I'm sorry, Cherry.

sexobon · 02-15-2014, 01:43 AM

The Cellar: Love hurts, change sucks, fuck cancer

Carruthers · 02-15-2014, 06:02 AM

Sundae, I hope that you don't think I am poking my nose in where it isn't wanted, but have you contacted your local councillors(s)?

A good local councillor can be worth his or her weight in gold when it comes to exerting pressure in the right places.

From various photos you've posted, I believe that you are in the Elmhust area of the town. If so, your councillors are here:

Elmhurst & Watermead.

See items 6.1 and 6.3 in Lisa Smith's declarations of interest.

Carruthers.

PS FWIW I've just posted an old picture in your Aylesbury thread.

Post #487

Gravdigr · 02-16-2014, 04:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sexobon

The Cellar: Love hurts, change sucks, fuck cancer

Fuckin' A, man.

Sundae · 04-07-2014, 01:07 PM

Mia was put down today.
She's had a poorly leg for a couple of days but it didn't start off all that bad.
This morning she wasn't moving and when Mum carried her downstairs she wouldn't put any weight on it.
The vet said it was a cat bite.

After a consultation, they agreed that due to her deafness (which is probably what made her vulnerable in a fight), her general confusion and the increasing problems she is having with her kidneys, the time had come to let her go gently.

I know Mum was talking about having her put down from sheer irritation a while back, but that mood passed. In fact despite knowing that this was the kindest thing to do, I know Mum wanted to hang on to her right up until the move. She cried all the way through, and all the way home.

I know it will be a relief for her in some ways, and a way of making a new start, but I did really feel for her.

Oh, £104!
And Mum feels he botched it, as he had to give a sedative after the initial attempt, and then administer two injections when she was still alive after five minutes. She said that when they had Muffin put down it took about 30 seconds.
Still, it was peaceful for Mia.

BigV · 04-07-2014, 01:20 PM

Very, sad, please deliver

from me.

That's always hard, there is no easy way. Sorry.

02-14-2014, 07:20 PM	#9737
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	is that directed at me? if so, I have no idea, which is why I asked. I'm guessing from the tone of your response that the answer is that that is not a realistic option, but I hope I'm wrong because unless things have changes drastically for the better, I don't see the council being overly sympathetic to a single adult with no kids. So next avenue... could you rent from your parents, Sundae, seeing as they don't need to sell in order to make the move? Maybe they'd feel more comfortable about the "expanding to fill the space" thing if you had a formal, signed rental agreement? __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

02-14-2014, 10:12 PM	#9739
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	A room in a shared house now costs £400. Without overtime I take home less than £600. So things are very tight. My parents have to sell to meet the conditions of the charity they will be renting from. Absolutely no income from property allowed. Of course they would be allowed overlap between owning property and renting the flat, because this is the real world and you don't sell your house on the day you move out of it, but as far as me renting from them, that's a definite no. And re working full time, again no. I applied for a full time position and only got 17.5 hours. The only people employed full time in the store are Managers. In fact most shifts are deliberately under 4 hours so that you don't qualify for a break. It's very common now. At least I'm not on a zero hours contract. I can still pick up overtime here and there, but I can't guarantee it. And it's not so much the initial moving costs which are the problem, as Mum says they will meet those, especially if I'm not going to America. It's the day to day living which is stretching out in front of me and making me distressed. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac Last edited by Sundae; 02-14-2014 at 10:19 PM.

02-14-2014, 10:31 PM	#9740
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Is there any chance you could get full time at another supermarket now that you have experience and a proven track record? (and bakery experience ) Seems so "out of the blue" for your parents to do this. sucks. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

02-14-2014, 11:03 PM	#9741
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	It does suck the big fat one, but a do have the crumb of comfort that that are doing the right thing for them. Mum's life will be happier because of it, and she's been unhappy for quite a while now. Urgh. Bakery. If I thought that was my only option I'd stick my head in the oven. Although I'd just get burned, as they're all electric of course. I'm looking. One of the reasons I'm between a rock and a hard place is that here in Aylesbury we have way below the national level of unemployment. But that's masked by the fact many people have been pushed into part time employment. So we don't draw benefits, but we do rely on other people to live. For many of my colleagues this is their partner, for me it was my parents. Although I always contributed and tried to pay my way, I was never paying them as much as a lodger would have. And Mum brushed off anything they would have paid whether I was here on not: TV licence, Internet, phone (which I never used but was great for incoming calls), heating. She just said I more than made up for that by my cooking and baking. She has said that she'll do all my washing and I can use the Internet there, and eat there at least twice a week. Like I said before though, it's the change. And the fear. I can get help to manage financially, I hope. But no-one can help with me losing my tenuous peace of mind. I think that's why my first reaction was la la la fingers in ears, going to America, commit suicide when I come home. I've rethought part of that "plan". __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

02-14-2014, 11:37 PM	#9742
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	I know you can drive but don't -do you have a license? __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

02-14-2014, 11:43 PM	#9743
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Oh yes, just can't afford to keep a car on the road. Petrol, insurance, MOT, tax, potholes... __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

02-15-2014, 12:05 AM	#9744
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	yes, I know that, but was wondering about a camper, seeing as summer is coming up. maybe a second-hand one costs about the same as a plane ticket to the US but you can live in it. and tour the UK. straws I know, but sometimes a brainstorn yield unexpectes leads. my friends did that for a year or two -set up in static caravan parks OK I'm off to bed. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

02-15-2014, 01:19 AM	#9745
orthodoc Not Suspicious, Merely Canadian Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 3,774	Change sucks, for the most part - especially when not chosen. I'm sorry, Cherry. __________________ The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. - Ghandi

02-15-2014, 01:43 AM	#9746
sexobon I love it when a plan comes together. Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 9,793	The Cellar: Love hurts, change sucks, fuck cancer

02-15-2014, 06:02 AM	#9747
Carruthers Junior Master Dwellar Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Buckinghamshire UK Posts: 4,059	Sundae, I hope that you don't think I am poking my nose in where it isn't wanted, but have you contacted your local councillors(s)? A good local councillor can be worth his or her weight in gold when it comes to exerting pressure in the right places. From various photos you've posted, I believe that you are in the Elmhust area of the town. If so, your councillors are here: Elmhurst & Watermead. See items 6.1 and 6.3 in Lisa Smith's declarations of interest. Carruthers. PS FWIW I've just posted an old picture in your Aylesbury thread. Post #487 Last edited by Carruthers; 02-15-2014 at 06:14 AM.

04-07-2014, 01:07 PM	#9749
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Mia was put down today. She's had a poorly leg for a couple of days but it didn't start off all that bad. This morning she wasn't moving and when Mum carried her downstairs she wouldn't put any weight on it. The vet said it was a cat bite. After a consultation, they agreed that due to her deafness (which is probably what made her vulnerable in a fight), her general confusion and the increasing problems she is having with her kidneys, the time had come to let her go gently. I know Mum was talking about having her put down from sheer irritation a while back, but that mood passed. In fact despite knowing that this was the kindest thing to do, I know Mum wanted to hang on to her right up until the move. She cried all the way through, and all the way home. I know it will be a relief for her in some ways, and a way of making a new start, but I did really feel for her. Oh, £104! And Mum feels he botched it, as he had to give a sedative after the initial attempt, and then administer two injections when she was still alive after five minutes. She said that when they had Muffin put down it took about 30 seconds. Still, it was peaceful for Mia. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

04-07-2014, 01:20 PM	#9750
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	Very, sad, please deliver from me. That's always hard, there is no easy way. Sorry. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

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