11-08-2015, 07:14 AM | #10456 | |
We have to go back, Kate!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 25,964
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Oh hon, I know that feeling. The seven or eight years I went without my own dog, before getting Pilau, I was just like that. I'd look at other people walking their dogs and be overwhelmed with full-on, throat-catching longing. It was never very far from my mind.
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11-08-2015, 05:12 PM | #10457 | |
The Un-Tuckian
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
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Nothing from me, but my friend got hit pretty hard. Most generous guy who ever lived, too, you didn't need to steal from him, he would have helped you any way he could.
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11-08-2015, 05:14 PM | #10458 |
The Un-Tuckian
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
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I shouldn't have went through those pictures, dammit.
Something in my eye...
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11-11-2015, 05:38 AM | #10459 |
polaroid of perfection
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: West Yorkshire
Posts: 24,185
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Mum saw the oncologist yesterday.
She's been assessed as a "medium" risk. Unlike two of her friends, who have to have hospital treatment, or one of the others who had to wait months for treatment at the other end of the scale. They're confident that the surgeon removed the cells from the original site (breast) but not that rogue cells aren't roaming about, ready to form colonies elsewhere. So she has to start treatment in the next few weeks. And Mum says this may mean Christmas (in London) will have to cancelled. Of course I immediately said that this was fine, and I'd rather have her well. But I had a very good cry afterwards. Because although the trip was all her idea, I didn't realise how much I'd emotionally invested in it. Had an outfit to wear, have a sack of presents, have a mini (fake) Christmas tree for their room etc etc. SO looking forward to the boat trip on the Thames, the steakhouse dinner on Christmas Eve, dressing up for lunch. This will make me sound like a silly, spoiled child compared to what Mum must be going through. Which is of course losing all that as well, AND going through chemo, AND having to deal with Dad. But I can only tell you how I feel. It might still happen of course. She has to wait until next Friday to get her treatment schedule. By then I'll be more resigned. I'm only upset because I heard last night and can't handle change well. And it's better that I tell you on here than let any of it leak out in my conversations with Mum. Oh, and I might still be able to make it to Aylesbury. My train tickets are for London, but I can travel on from there. So I can be a help and a presence at least.
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Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac |
11-11-2015, 07:42 AM | #10460 |
The future is unwritten
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
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Not new behavior, you've always gotten wound up about future events, like your get togethers with Dana and Limey. A significant event like family Christmas would always make you ramp up planning and anticipation. Now it's even more important, and you've more time to dedicate to it, because of not working and having large gaps in your social calendar. Add the stress of your parent's health issues hanging like Damocles Sword, I'm not surprised the tears come easy.
You can get all rational and shit, telling yourself it's silly and not a big deal compared to others' problems, but it's your safety valve. Safety valves are preset, they don't say hey, do you think it's time to relieve some pressure? Fuck no, when the time comes they do their thing automatically, and have no regard for time, place, or if they'll embarrass you in public. So don't let it worry you, what you've been doing and thinking isn't very far from what you've always done. You ain't as crazy as you seem to think. Well, no crazier than you've always been, anyway.
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The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. |
11-11-2015, 09:33 AM | #10461 |
polaroid of perfection
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: West Yorkshire
Posts: 24,185
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Thanks hon.
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Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac |
11-11-2015, 06:58 PM | #10462 |
Encroaching on your decrees
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland
Posts: 7,016
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Bruce is right, and you already know that although you find it hard to cope with change your plans to see your parents and help your mum are changed, not cancelled altogether.
I've wanted for a while to point out that it is you your mum turns to every time for help and support so obviously you are doing everything right. Chin up girl! Love and hugs from all at Chateau Limey! xxx Sent by thought transference
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Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of |
11-12-2015, 04:29 AM | #10463 | |
We have to go back, Kate!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 25,964
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What bruce and Limes said.
*hugs* you're doing awesome, hon.
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11-12-2015, 08:31 AM | #10464 |
Not Suspicious, Merely Canadian
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 3,774
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Sorry Sundae, that's one tough bit of news after another. I hope your mum's treatment schedule will still allow for your family Christmas plans in London. It's okay to be upset, why wouldn't you be? You're doing a fantastic job of support for your parents in a hard situation, don't let any negative thoughts convince you that you're silly or spoiled. No way.
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The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. - Ghandi |
11-12-2015, 06:28 PM | #10465 |
NSABFD
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: MS. usa
Posts: 3,908
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New keyboard came from newegg today. No !@#$% drivers or manuals.
And online banking says I have wrong username or password. WTF
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I've haven't left very deep footprints in the sands of time. But, boy I've left a bunch. |
11-13-2015, 02:00 AM | #10466 |
trying hard to be a better person
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posts: 16,493
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Another thing to remember is that your Mum is really good at jumping to the worst conclusion, so maybe nothing will have to change in the end.
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Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber |
11-13-2015, 12:29 PM | #10467 | |
We have to go back, Kate!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 25,964
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@buster: that sucks. Any chance of getting the manuals and drivers online?
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11-14-2015, 09:06 AM | #10468 |
NSABFD
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: MS. usa
Posts: 3,908
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Yeah. I found them on Bill's site. Still pissed thou. 1st time screw up by newegg for me.
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I've haven't left very deep footprints in the sands of time. But, boy I've left a bunch. |
11-15-2015, 10:22 AM | #10469 | |
Radical Centrist
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cottage of Prussia
Posts: 31,423
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Quote:
I have not updated on purpose; the story takes time to develop. They found that the original breast cancer has spread to her spine, her pelvic bone, and her liver. So it's now stage 4. There was a period where she didn't know what to do. She investigated a "doctor" in Argentina who, for $17,000, would put her on a special anti-cancer diet. In a conference call with the guy, he claimed that chemotherapy kills millions and his diet solves cancer at a DNA level. Her husband went off on the guy. I asked, "Did you ever consider it?" He told me "If we actually had $17,000, I would use it to put a contract out on him." At first she was hurt that her husband would not support her. Then her friends started telling her to wise up. After the third one, she came around and announced that, yes, she would use western medicine. This week the radiation has begun, but she has had a terrible week of opiate withdrawal, pain, emotional swings, taking doctor's orders and then not following them; being re-hospitalized for pain. In one moment of bad times she briefly wanted to can it all, but again came around. Husband has been a rock all his life, the dependable older brother. He doesn't know how long he can be that. He is alternately furious and devastated and spun around by it all. He just wants his wife back. He's one of my oldest friends, and he's been the guitarist for "Rocky" all this time. He wants me to play "Rent" in April. I almost want to say no because I don't know where HE will be in April. If her treatments are successful, she will be given more time, in years. If she suddenly decides to quit treatment, she will be gone by then. |
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11-15-2015, 11:51 AM | #10470 |
I hear them call the tide
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 30,852
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I have a friend with exactly this -metastasized BD bust a vertebrae which had to be removed. She fights like all fury and is determined to live as long and as fully as possible, but occasionally finds the pain so extreme that it can be hard for her to justify continuing treatment. but she does. Beest has metastatic colon cancer. Stage 4. No real pain, this one is a silent killer. So we're doing the chemo. But it's different from most chemo. no hair loss, but extreme sensitivity to cold to a point of extreme pain. Even tap water needs to be heated to be drunk sometimes. I'm not looking forward to winter, I can't really imagine he is either, we live in the fucking arctic. But I digress, unfortunately for your friend, there just aren't any great choices, rock and a hard place. But I'm sure she isn't making obviously bad choices without care for those around her. Pain has a great knack for invading logical thought processes and diverting the stream of thought. When you hurt really badly, it can make sense to reject everything that you're doing now and go off at a tangent just to try and make it stop -like jumping off a tall cliff when you're being attacked by a swarm of bees in the hope that they won't be able to keep up with you during you descent.....
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