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#1051 |
Pump my ride!
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Deep countryside of Surrey , England
Posts: 1,890
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Linking back to the anal jokes a brief moment..
I found an interesting birthday card for my son this year - cartoon on front showing a doctor and assistant studying the backside of a patient who is leaning over exposing the end of a lettuce protruding from his anus. Words underneath from doctor:'I'm afraid it's just the tip of the iceberg...!'
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Always sufficient hills - never sufficient gears |
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#1052 |
To shreds, you say?
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
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I love it!
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The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs |
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#1054 |
The future is unwritten
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
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During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director, 'What is the criterion that defines a patient to be institutionalized?'
'Well...' said the director, 'we fill up a bathtub, and we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub.' 'Oh, I understand,' said the visitor, with a chuckle. 'A normal person would choose the bucket as it is larger than the spoon or the teacup. Right?' 'Noooooooo!' answered the director. 'A normal person would pull the plug.' ![]()
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The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. |
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#1056 |
Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya?
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 21,206
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A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby |
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#1057 |
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
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It's a metaphor for Iraq, Shawnee.
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#1058 |
The future is unwritten
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
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You know, HM....angry just doesn't cut it for Bob....he's way past Dr Phil, more like Dr Wolf material.
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The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. |
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#1060 |
Blatantly Homosapien
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 6,200
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An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.
As he continued walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes. Turning to look, he saw a seven-foot grizzly charging towards him. He began running as fast as he could up the path. Looking over his shoulder, he saw that the bear was closing in on him. Although his heart was pumping frantically, he tried to run even faster. Then he tripped and fell to the ground. As he rolled over to pick himself up, he saw the bear raising his paw to take a swipe at him. At that instant the atheist cried out, "Oh my God . . ." Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. It was then that a bright light shone upon the man and a voice came out of the sky saying, "You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist, and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you now expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?" The atheist looked directly into the light and said, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?" "Very well," said the voice. The light went out, and the sounds of the forest resumed. Then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head, and spoke, "Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and for which I am truly thankful. Amen."
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Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please. |
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#1061 | |
(This space left intentionally UN-blank.)
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Albuquerque
Posts: 604
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Quote:
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#1062 |
Flocci Non Facio
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: In The Line Of Fire
Posts: 571
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Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it. |
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#1063 |
Back and ready to tart up the place
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Kansas
Posts: 850
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Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department.
One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again. An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, "I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting into your work, but I don't get it, why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?" The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the girl who plants the trees called in sick."
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Chock-full of naughty goodness. |
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#1064 |
Larger than life and twice as ugly.
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 5,264
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When I asked her to the prom... She just looked at me, giggled and smiled.
When I asked her to dance... She just looked at me, giggled and smiled. When I asked her to move in with me... She just looked at me, giggled and smiled. When I asked her to kiss me... She just looked at me, giggled and smiled. When I asked her to make love to me... She just looked at me, giggled and smiled. When I asked for her hand in marriage... She just looked at me, giggled and smiled. When I asked her to bear my children... She just looked at me, giggled and smiled. That's when I realized she was a Retard.
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We must all go through a rite of passage. It must be physical, it must be painful, and it must leave a mark. I have no knowledge of the events which you are describing, and if I did have knowledge of them, I would be unable to discuss them with you now or at any future period. ![]() ![]() Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years |
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#1065 |
Flocci Non Facio
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: In The Line Of Fire
Posts: 571
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Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it. |
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