The 'What the fuck!' thread

[Gravdigr]

Learned since last post:

'Playing with the lion's testicles' means taking unnecessary chances, sorta like 'poking the bear', 'tugging on Superman's cape', etc.

[footfootfoot]

Watched the Wire for the first time last night, heard "Giving a shit when it ain't your turn to give a shit."

[Gravdigr]

[glatt]

Ew. I must not love my kids, because I never would have done that.

[orthodoc]

No. This woman is crazy, I'm sorry, but ... I have four children and have been the sole human being who changed their diapers, and I have loved my children to an extent that was not always wise ... and I have NEVER, never licked baby poo off my thumb. Did this woman mistake it for mustard?

[Clodfobble]

Yeah, uh, no.

"No wipes at hand" just means you wipe it on the kid's shirt, or your own shirt, or the wall... licking it off is the stupidest way to get something clean.

[footfootfoot]

Unless you are
a. A dog
b. A cat
c. Some melodramatic, sentimental crazy person
d. All of the above

[Happy Monkey]

Not the worst parent in the world. Not the worst. There are plenty of worse parents.

But WTF?

"Please can I have a blue bike for Cwiss-mass?"

I'm ashamed to admit it, but her certainty brought out layers of uncertainty for me.

I didn't mind that Gracie didn't want a pink bike or a sparkly bike or one with princesses painted on the sides. Since day one, Shawn and I have tried to find a good balance that would allow Gracie to be as girlie, or not girlie, as she wanted, despite the gender stereotypes that seem to bombard children at every turn.

Her bedroom is a cheery mix of greens, blues, purples, yellows and, yes, pinks. She's never watched a princess movie or TV show but has a couple fairy tale books and dress-up tutus for when she wants to play pretend.

And I always take great care to pay her compliments that celebrate her intellect, decision-making skills and sense of humor, not just her cute looks or pretty dress.

But a blue bike? Really? The blue bikes I saw in a quick online search featured Power Rangers, pirates and Spider-Man, with boys depicted riding them.
I wondered if perhaps we'd gone too far in trying to keep Gracie away from princess-mania. I worried that soon she'll be made fun of on the playground for being a tomboy. And I questioned whether I was failing as a mother for not raising her to be dainty enough.

At the same time I also kicked myself for not just embracing my daughter's conviction. Wasn't this what we'd been striving for with all our gender-neutralizing efforts? My favorite color is blue, so why can't my little girl have the same preference? Was I a mommy hypocrite?

"You know, I think Santa's elves are more used to making red bikes," I attempted, desperate for a quick fix. "Are you sure you don't want a red bike?"

"Santa's elves make me a blue bike," Gracie shot back.

That's when I knew I needed professional help.

Diane Levin, a professor of early childhood education at Wheelock College in Boston, was not surprised to hear my dilemma.

I think Diane Levin was just too professional to express her surprise.

[DanaC]

Ffs.

[orthodoc]

Diane Levin probably needed a stiff drink after that consultation.

'A blue bike? Really? ... I questioned whether I was failing as a mother for not raising her to be dainty enough.'
Give me strength.

[Lola Bunny]

What the heck is wrong with blue? I had a blue bike when I was a kid. A simple, plain blue bike, no Power Ranger, pirates, or Spider-Man. In my twenties, I bought another blue bike, which I'm still using. I guess you can tell I like the color blue.

[Happy Monkey]

It's just so weird on so many levels.
1) I don't think kids should be forced along traditional gender roles.
2) Neither does she, so she claims.
3) Even for people who do want to do that, I could see not wanting a pink bike for a boy, or a blue hat and booties for a baby girl, but a blue bike for a girl? Really?
4) The mom's favorite color is blue. WTF?
5) A child psychologist for bicycle color?!?
6) She's so oblivious to how ludicrous this is, she writes it up as an article.
7) And it's published!

It's so weird, I almost think it's a hoax, but she apparently writes parenting articles all the time.

[glatt]

Unless you go to a bike store and pay through the nose for a real bike, you're going to wind up at Target looking at all the junk bikes from China, and they are all going to be hideous monstrosities, covered with stickers and paint jobs for either boys or girls.

My son's first bike was a pink princess special handed down from his sister. We had inherited it from another family. We wanted him to feel like it was his bike, so we let him pick out a couple of cans of spray paint, and he went to town on it. We cut the pink tassels off the handle bars, and he painted it blue and gold. The tires were pink, but he didn't paint those. And he kept the basket on the handlebars.

He really left his mark on that bike.

[Clodfobble]

Originally Posted by Happy Monkey

It's so weird, I almost think it's a hoax, but she apparently writes parenting articles all the time.

Yeah, she writes parenting articles all the time... as in, she has a regular deadline and enjoys not getting fired. She had nothing to write about, so she conjured up some "typical" parent dilemma, and called up a psychologist for a quote in the article. It's a bad article, but I don't for a moment believe this woman actually paid for a therapy session over this. The psych quoted in the article is a professor, not a practicing counselor.

Glatt's right though, cheap kids' bikes are painfully gendered one way or the other. It's all black lightning bolts and skulls, or huge pink hearts with enough sparkles to make your eyes hurt. But even then, there are light blue bikes covered in girly flowers and purple butterflies. I know, because I tried to talk my stepdaughter into choosing that one, but instead she went with the gaudy pink monstrosity.

[Griff]

Glatt shows what an actual thinking parent can do with a problem. We took the hit at a local bike shop for two medium blue bikes, but then again I was in the industry for a while... I also feel like those themed box store bikes do their best to replace the child's imagination with a pre-constructed universe.