Poor V. I hope you feel better soon.

I know, right?!

I hear a hot bath calling my name. Back later friends.

Wow, I'm surprised my name has been brought up here. I'm not a fan of revisiting the past much, but I truly hope that you don't think those things about me now Trilby. I wasn't in such a good place myself when I first came here, so that's my only excuse. I hope that others as well as you can see that I'm a different person these days and the person you first knew here was nothing like who I really am.

If it means a damn to you, I'm sorry from the bottom of my heart to have ever made such a remark. I honestly don't recall it - which obviously makes it worse since whatever was said has had a huge impact on you - but I can't take it back. I can only say that I hope enough time has passed for you to see that you are valued by me.

Please forgive me.

Reading the last couple of pages of this thread has really upset me, and I was feeling pretty sad to begin with. Just got off the phone with my Aunt. My uncle who has been a huge part of my life is doing very poorly. He hasn't got much longer on this earth. I saw him last week for the first time since just before Eva was born (so about 2 months ago) and i was shocked at how rapidly he's gone down hill. I am afraid we'll all lose him before a new year comes in, which is way too soon for any of us, but maybe too long for him to wait.

Sometimes things are shitty. :(

I'm sorry to hear about your uncle, Ali. This thread took a turn that left me speechless and upset as well, when I read it after work today. I hate what's happened this weekend in these two threads. I've been chemo-brained worse than usual in the past few days and couldn't contribute anything very coherent, and still can't ... I just hope the moon hits a new phase or whatever has to happen for things to settle. :(

I'm sorry to hear about your uncle, Ali. I didn't know you then, but I think you're a good person now. :)

You're doing fine Ortho...on all fronts it seems. :) Keep up the good work. xx

That means a lot to me Lola. :) Thank you.

OK, your uncle is a bummer, but I'm not sorry about your finger. :p:

I'm going to poke you in the eye with it when it gets better Bruce!

I order to get close enough to poke me in the eye, you'll be close enough for make-up sex.:blush:

:rolleyes: Not you too!

:mg: Not you two!



Can I watch.:blush:

I'm sorry.

I was having a tiff. a Big one. A tantrum.

I will never leave you because I'm mainlining you all now and the Intervention failed.


Ali- you HAVE changed and you ARE sweet and i DO like you. It was all just PTSD, it really was- and not to denigrate those with war time ptsd, but I have had some doozies happen to me. we all have. it brought up a lot of shite on my part and I'm abashed at my acting out. I thought I was better; actually, I AM better b.c I used to do that stuff quite frequently.

thanks for all the kinds words.

back to you, sexobon.

Now it doesn't have to be a blue Christmas. Yay Trilby!! :)

I'm glad you're feeling better. Well, at least I hope you're feeling better. :)

Everyone is allowed a tantrum now and then!!

And if I thought you were super serious, I would have said a lot more and I would have been hurt. But *I* know that *you* know you are loved here, and by me included.

What's making me angry today is that my ex, before giving me the iMac desktop he didn't want, reformatted it and casually mentioned that I might want to put Mountain Lion on. I did so. Now Adobe Reader won't download anything at all from the internet; I can't print out an IRS form I really need. Oh, and my ex kept all the drivers for both my printers (I couldn't find the discs before I left), and while I know the drivers can be had online, my vision is blurry from chemo and it's causing me physical pain to try to look at the desktop monitor. And he set up the printer so that, even though it's hard-connected to the desktop, it goes wirelessly through the computer instead ... ?? huh? Why wouldn't it recognize the ethernet printer cable? And neither of my two old laptops will find the printer on the network.

I have to go away and calm down and then I'm sure I'll figure out something - get rid of the network printing and just go with direct connection, is my thought. Simple is good. But I'll still have to download the drivers and install them and I don't have the time or the vision, and I still can't use Adobe Reader despite downloading the latest version, and .... :rant: :mad:

Bleh. Rant over. I guess I'm most upset about my blurry vision. If I could see, I could read my stuff for exams and write my papers and download those drivers and all of this wouldn't matter. :thepain:

Thanks V ... Hey, this is better! All is well! oh wait ...

This is why god invented PCs

My little Corgi, Wyn, got attacked in the dog park today by a vicious shepard mix almost 3 times Wyn's size. :mad::(

Shit, is Wyn ok?

that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me this morning!


;)

He only loves you for your mind, unlike me.

Thanks for your concern, Dana! I checked him out from nose to tail twice and found no sign of physical harm. But he was very subdued last night and didn’t have that little Corgi sparkle in his eyes. He seems perkier today, though.

I am so angry over this incident. Wyn is a tough little guy. He is fearless about swimming across cold mountain streams and will hike through the desert and the mountains with me on his short little legs and never seems to tire and has never wimped out and asked to be picked up. He may be small, but his heart is huge. Up till yesterday, he played with the big dogs as well as the small, always happy to make new friends and not adverse to a bit of doggie rough housing.

But he can’t take on another dog in such an uneven fight. He's NEVER been a fighter, anyhow - or a snapper or a nipper. He doesn’t deserve to lose the spark in his eye for so much as a minute – never mind being beat up by the local dog park bully. Right now, I am very, very angry.

Oh poor lad. He'll be ok. They're resilient creatures. Would probably have more lasting impact if he'd been hurt rather than just frightened and if he'd been that bit younger.

Carrot was targeted by a staffie cross when he was about 5 months old. Didn't hurt him but was ragging on his fur and pinning him down to the floor. Thankfully he was so young that he didn't try and fight back, he just froze. I'm convinced if he'd have put up the least resistance she'd have torn him to shreds.

I was worried afterwards that he'd be timid with other dogs, but he was just as gungho about greeting them as he ever was, so no harm done.

I've seen dogs roughhouse where I'd swear it was a death match. But after establishing pack dominance, the pecking order, nothing worse than a lot of slobbered fur.

Oh me too. But this was more than just roughhousing. The staffie cross that went for carrot came hurtling at him from across the road and was ragging on his fur in a very particular way. It wasn't just about establishing dominance, it was about provoking a response. Bear in mind this wasn't a dog attacking another dog, this was a bitch attacking a pup. That's a troubled dog right there.

Pilau was a troubled dog. In some ways. And he would do the same thing given an opportunity, which is why he spent a lot of his life on extender leads rather than free running. In that situation, the other dog's resopnse is key to where it all goes. Fight back, or even worse try to run away and it kicks the whole thing into overdrive.

It's a different dynamic to the normal roughousing for dominance, which I also saw Pil do with some male dogs including his brother.

Yep.

That was the same exact situation - a large, adult bitch attacking a smaller pup that still isn't even a year old.

I talked around with some dog park regulars and found out that "Bella" has attacked other dogs there not just once, but several times. In two instances, Bella inflicted damage that incurred vet bills for several hundred dollars.

Bella's owner has been reported to the local animal control officer more than once, also. So far, the owner has been warned, but with no citation or other consequences. Unbelievable!

Tonight I was at the dog park along with a casual aquaintance of mine and his dog, Carson (a lively beagle that Wyn always plays with). Carson's Dad saw Bella and her owner pulling into the paring lot and said, "Here comes trouble." Then he called Carson, walked over to his truck and left.

I never confront people IRL. I'd rather just get along or avoid any potential situations, myself. But I was pretty P.O.'ed after what had happened to Wyn and finding out that Bella actually tears into other dogs all the time.

Why should all the responsible owners and their dogs be forced out of the park by one irresponsible person and her mean dog? Plus, the day might well come when Bella actually kills a smaller dog if someone doesn't get there quickly enough to rescue it.

So, I let the woman who owns Bella have it. I told her she was not to bring Bella into the park if Wyn was there, too, otherwise I'd call animal control on her and THIS time I'd demand that they do something more than just give her a little slap on the wrist.

Of course Bella's owner denied that her dog had a problem. It was EVERYONE else who had a problem, not poor, sweet Bella. :right: I told her that she'd better worry about ME and the major problem animal control would visit on her if she ever let Bella near Wyn again.

Then I left, too. So, one more time Bella had the park all to herself while Wyn and I finished our stroll by walking around in the cemetary across the street. I hate this kind of shit.

Stupid woman. She's doing her dog no favours.

It's hearbreaking to have a dog that can't be trusted with other dogs and/or people. Took me a while to admit to myself that Pilau wasn't getting better about it and actually was posing a risk to himself and others. Pilau scared a few younger dogs before I got the message and stopped letting run free when others were about. I got an extender lead. Eventually, in order to let him run free without causing trouble I took to muzzling him whenever he was off the lead. Unless we were in a place where I could see very clearly that nobody was around.

Pilau wasn't a vicious dog. He was a frightened dog. He got the message early on (from a variety of causes) that outdoors was a dangerous place. And nothing I did changed that. I'm quietly confident that he would never have done any serious damage. But if he'd nipped a child, what then? And however confident I am that he would never have savaged a human I could never have said the same about other dogs. I doubt he'd have ever done more than minor damage with a dog, but I couldn't be sure about that. He had the potential to do more and his unpredictable nature outdoors meant it was a possibility I had to take seriously.

Setting aside the impact on other dogs and dogwalkers, the impact of an incident on Pilau himself could have been catastrophic. He once tried to pick a fight with a Japanese Akita. And what if he had actually bitten someone? A child? Even a little herding nip is a major matter for a child. Or seriously lost it with a smaller dog? What about when the police turn up to see if your dog is dangerous and he tries to bite the policeman because he's scared?

That dog's owner is allowing her dog to endanger itself. She is putting her at risk of starting a fight she can't finish or euthanasia atthe hands of the authorities.

I'm sorry Wyn was roughed up but....walking around the cemetery sounds like more fun than the dog park any day! You never know who you'll meet. :ghost:

Plus...no shortage of entertaining bones to chew...

I am such a goddamn FOOOL that I should be shot immediately (after given sufficient morphine).

Remember Professor Tiny Bits? well-got over him. Years ago. Feeling good, livin' life, making a life for myself, gave up his drama and yes-but-no-but-maybe.

Well, a few weeks ago HE emailed me OUT OF THE BLUE to say thank you for winning the White House for Obama (he's one of those rich liberals who, if he HAD to walk amongst the hoi polloi, would die of the stench, dahling) anyway- he said, "Let's be friends," and I STUPIDLY SAID OKAY. Knowing he was seeing/or saw a woman in England only 15 years his junior instead of my 21 years. And all I know of her is that she is a prof. at UEL and "will do anything" - use your dirty imaginations.

well, I wrote him a very vanilla email a few days ago (about a month after he'd first contacted me) about my 'rents, kids and how are his grandkids-one of which I've never seen. Asked him to send me a pic of her. thanks! have a good day!

TODAY i get an email telling me he'd like to go into more but it's hellish you see as his marriage has reached 'a crisis point' ----more later.

dumbdumbdumbdumbdumb I am so DMB! I am SO FUCKING DUMB. It's amazing I've managed to stay alive this long-most of my tribe threw themselves from stormy cliffs into the sea at age 14. geeeeeeeeeSUS.

He ONLY contacted me so he could triangulate this thing into some sort of -what, help me here Zen, what? a square? a four-sided relationship? Or am I "x" to their triangle? What the FUCK does he need a 'friend' for when he's got plenty except to taunt me with this 'crisis' bullshit which I am SURE involves some woman who is prettier, brighter, more accomplished, manicured, Chanel-ed and perfect in every way including her perfect, perfect cunt.

GODDDDDDDDDDDAMN.


Good thing I see my therapist tomorrow. I feel like drinking a gallon of rum at this asshole.

I should email him this:

You, sir, are an asshole. I hope she gets it all. As a matter of fact, I shall contact your wife and let her know I will be able to testify on her behalf if it comes to that. I kept all our correspondences and all your gifts throughout the years we were together. I shall also inform her of your pornography problem. The one where your favorite porn star looks disturbingly like your daughter.

Love, Trilby

Tril, please don't call yourself dumb because that will make me a dummy too. What you did was normal. He was just being an ass, and you were just being nice. Now that you see his scheme, ignore him again. Frankly, what you did is something I'd do too. I would like to see that as being a nice person. Now is the time to stop being nice to him since his friendship wasn't sincere. Please don't drink as a punishment. It should only be done in festivities. :D ( but for you, really, please don't. :p )

Trilby, you don't sound dumb to me. You sound like someone who knows EXACTLY what is going on. You're sharp.

Tril, don't beat yourself up. You've caught his triangulation early and can blow him off now. Yeah, it's so easy to be nice to these assholes who only get in touch because a) they're having a slow weekend; b) they need just a little more drama with which to berate their current SO; c) they want to test how much control they still have of your non-relationship and how easy it is to pull you back in.

They send out something nice, you respond in kind, and then the lash comes out of nowhere. Nice game.

It doesn't say anything about you, who are a good-hearted, generous person. It says everything about HIM. Don't buy into the rest of the game, which is aimed at making you squirm and feel bad and upset. If you just block him and don't respond, he may try pretty hard to get back in touch one more time just to prove to himself that he can reel you in whenever he wants. You can have the satisfaction of letting him fail on that one. Although I know how tempting it is to respond. (I admit, I rather like your theoretical email.)

Just ... block him. He's not worth a single moment of your precious time. He's also not worth a single oz of rum. You're waayyy above his narcissistic games.
Flowers to you. :flower: :flower: :flower:

Tril: Do Not call yourself dumb to this man. Don't hand to him on a plate solid evidence of his ability to make you feel inferior.

Step away from this one. That email tells him he is your weakness.

No post from Limey today.
Silly bloody postal service.

Tril don't be a plum.
You got over this man once. Second time is easier. I know. I attracted serial bastards.
He's a hit & run merchant. He's hit, now you run for the bloody hills.

all sage and good advice. I thank ye.

It IS easier the second time.

Uck-fay Im-hay. No more correspondences. He's only playing a game coz he's nearing (gasp) 69!!!!!!

But I was a maroon for thinking he was sincere.


eta: I emailed 'are you leaving her for that woman in England?" and he emailed back "in limbo right now but moving in that direction" -and that was all.

DONE. My heart has been broken more times than I thought could be humanly possible.

Now I'm off to look for my TRUE soulmate- Gollum.

You must really want a ring.

As they say, drinking "at" someone is like drinking a vial of poison at your enemy and expecting THEM to fall over dead. But you know that already. In the face of such problems, I like smashing dishes. ;)

Hang tough, girl.

I should also say that I thought the phrase "I feel like drinking a gallon of rum at this asshole." was extremely evocative and self-aware.

I'm certain you won't especially given how you expressed it. But I definitely get the feeling you convey when you say it like that. whoa.

Tril, as others said, you caught it early and now is the time to change the station.

From now on repeat this mantra:

"What the fuck does this asshole want?" Then just hit delete or hang up or keep walking.

As a friend says, don't rent space to him in your mind.

Well crap. Shouldn't have bought all that Corelle.

An old cow orker gave me all her stoneware because she wanted Corelle for its lightness and break resistance. It's beautiful, with big sunflowers and dark greens, almost Van Gogh-ish. It does have chips and lines of breakage but I think it has character. It's ripply dipply pipply, and a smarsh at the games of frickle-frack and mushgoons.

I love stoneware like that.

I almost wrote "stonewear." That would be interesting. Kinda uncomfortable, but durable.

Snort

Top lines include:

Liz Clayborne
Kenneth Coal
Halstone
Tommy Hilldigger

interesting factoid I hadn't thought of: HIS WIFE FOUND OUT ABOUT MISS ENGLAND and said, "Let's face it, bub; you're a serial adulterer. I know about Ms. England-known about her for years. I"m sick of you and your narcissistic ego needs that take the form of needing the attention of every woman on the planet [Bill Clinton, take note] so, here is where we part. Get OUT."

my sister thought of that.
Good to have sisters if they are nice, which this one is. Bet she found out. B/C why, at 69, would you blow up your sweet little life with the two adorable grandkids and a hottie stashed away in England and the PRETENSE of a perfect Wellesley family/home/marriage?

I can only hope that this ends some way in which it becomes an episode on the True Crime channel. My favorite channel.

Hints: after your wife "leaves on a solo vacation" or "storms off after a tiff" do NOT immediately get the carpet cleaned or removed. Same with mattress.

Do NOT try ethylene glycol---the medical community is getting hip to this type of poisoning.

Do NOT say she "ran off with some other man" esp. when there are kids/grandkids in the picture. She'd never leave them for some man and we all know it.

Do NOT google 'fool proof ways to kill someone'

Do NOT think all your weird porn will be scrubbed. The FBI can find anything on even the most wrecked computers.

IF you are the CEO of a company, do NOT be seen taking the garbage out to the company dumpster----CEO's just don't do that sort of thing.


rubbing hands together in that German word that means I'm glad you're getting fucked over , mate.

Schadenfreude.

Gesundheit

Oi! Language!

game coz he's nearing (gasp) 69!!!!!! Be very carefully about using the 69! Ya hear!!

Anyway my !@#$$% kitchen sink is leaking, has been for awhile, from looks. So tomorrow I'lll head to hardware to pick up all the things I MIGHT need . When I get down to check this crap I might need to call 911 to pick my sorry donkey off the floor. Good times just keep rolling on.

It's healthy to keep busy, and keep moving, you should thank the sink.:lol:

Epic hair loss.

It's coming out almost in clumps every time I shower. It's totally normal -- a result of hormonal readjustment after pregnancy -- but it's still upsetting to see, and to feel my ponytail getting thinner and thinner.

Sorry choc, that' upsetting. :(
The good thing is, it'll all grow back in. But having the growth/loss phases line up for so much hair at one time is disconcerting. Hope it comes back promptly!

The miasma that I am currently battling.

I lost lots of hair after I had Max, but it all came back. It's the only pregnancy it's happened after for me, and I ended up being low in serotonin, hence the PND. Get your hormones checked just in case Choco. I'm sure it was just coincidence for me, but better to be safe than sorry.