Kids and the Internet
 

I want to be able to do a "thing" online (a summer reading thing) with my two oldest grandkids. The oldest, who is turning 10, has her own email address (and is closely supervised on the computer, of course). The next oldest, who is turning 8, doesn't, but I'm considering arranging for him to get one.

How old do you think is old enough for your own email address?

How do you keep your kids safe on the Internet? It's a scary place.

Yep it's a tough balancing act. I'm convinced an attitude of "the internet is eeevil, keep the kids off it" is counterproductive for many reasons. But how to do it safely?

We're using safeeyes.com, which not only blocks stuff and lets us see where they've been, it also (perhaps more importantly with my daughter) lets us limit the times they're allowed on.

We also set up her email so that anything coming in gets copied to mom.

good tips! I will check them out. Can you set up the duplicate email thing with gmail, do you know?

You can't really keep them off--especially if your focus is learning. It's the same balancing act, really, that you as the "be nice to people" but --"don't talk to strangers."

You want to protect them, but you want them to grow up, too. maybe.

I was about 10 before becoming interested in the internet and all my parents did was explain the dangers.

Did it work?? (I guess not.. you ended up here! :angel: )

Cloud, you can go into the settings in gmail and tell it to forward an extra copy of the email to another address. The problem with that is the kid can change it! There are slightly more arcane arrangements if you run your own domain and can have the mail redirected before it gets into the account, but that's probably not worth the trouble.

I think it's probably okay for now--both family's computers are in "family" areas where they can be supervised.

I'm thinking of starting a wiki page for my summer project, that they can contribute to

Any parent with a teen in the house should get and have installed on all computers in the house this program, we have it on all of ours and can monitor everything our kids do: http://www.computer-monitoring.com/spectorpro.htm


You can also get this:

http://www.mysafekeeper.com/blockteens/

TheMercenary?

You're a mother-fucking asshole.
No offence.


Cloud:
If your kids are smart, then let them roam the internet to their heart's content. Make sure they know how to be safe and keep them away from the porn, and they'll be perfectly fine. You shouldnt have to shelter them.
I've been a resident of the interwebs since I was nine or ten, and look how I turned out.

(that's supposed to be a PRO-internet argument, thankyouverymuch!)

Whoa! Guys! Just a spectrum of choices here. The links have been useful. I certainly think it's important to supervise; but remember that 1) I'm talking about children under 10 here; and 2) they're not my kids;

--but on the spectrum of monitoring every keystroke to letting them surf to their hearts content, I'd be more inclined to give them a judicious amount of privacy and trust. I certainly wouldn't want every keystroke monitored, now or ever, and I don't think I would want to do that for my kids.

BUT. It's not just porn I'm worried about. It's people. Monetary or sexual predators. Probably a review of historical sites, supervised (i.e., in plain view) surfing, duplicates of emails, and time limits, for now may be fine.

You are worse than mainland china with the internet. :p

Cloud, I have a 9 yr old and a 10yr old. They've been browsing the web for about 6months now. Because we own the computer and they browse with our permission, we keep things pretty open at home. I don't use any of the parental snooping devices because I don't like the idea of having to spy on my kids.

I feel that if it gets to a stage where I feel I've got to snoop, then I've done something wrong. That is to say, if the kids can't discuss openly what they're doing online, we need to reset the boundaries. Like Cloud, our computers are generally used in family spaces in the house. That will change shortly when the kids area is built in under the house and perhaps then I'll change my views, but to date, they've never let me down, and I will never expect them to.

I'm realistic enough to know they'll look at porn online sooner or later along with other sites I might consider inappropriate and I hope that when that happens no one feels the need to be deceptive about it.

Supervision is the key. If you really know your kids, most of the battle is won.

Honestly, if my momma and poppa spied on me online, I couldn't be here. But they trust me to use my best judgment about where I go and what I do online - And I know the cellar ain't a threat to anything but my innocence.

Very well described Aliantha. That is essentially what we do, keeping it in the open. Cloud needs to consider the parenting style of her grandkids' parents. Her method needs to match theirs. Mercenary has an authoritarian parenting style, his kids will have to be watched very closely because they've always been watched closely. Permissive parents risk raising kids who don't think they are cherished and can find trouble on the net. Authoritative parenting like Aliantha's is most effective for raising kids who can be successful on the net and by extention in a free society.

My o: The children can be snooped upon as long as they know that they are being snooped upon. The appropriate age not to snoop is when the child can be trusted to understand the issues involved.

Here is something which suggests that kids should use safer search alternatives than Google:

http://childparenting.about.com/od/f...feinternet.htm

and here is a site with some pretty common sense rules:

http://www.safekids.com/

It is not the cellar, it is all the porn you go to.

My house, my computers, my internet bill, my rules.

We have busted our kids on the verge of doing things they know they should not have been doing. Our spy ware has served us well. And if any of you parents think that the internet is a safe place for your kids and teens to hang out unsupervised you are kidding yourselves. When they move out and start paying their own way in life they can do what ever they want. Until then, I make the rules.

I never said you weren't entitled to do what you like; I only said you were an asshole for doing it. If your kids have half a brain at all they can make their own decisions about what is and isnt okay. You teach them how to be safe, and let them do the rest.

Unless, of course, your kids are idiots, or unless you're more concerned about censorship than protection. Coming from you, neither would surprise me, but I'm leaning towards the second.

Ok, you are a young punk. I understand where you are coming from. Your parents are idiots for trusting you. No one is censoring anyone. the best that can happen to you is your kids will be just like you. Since you obviously do not have any humans that you have to be responsible for, because you are an inmature punk, you will not be able to relate. If I am incorrect please tell me you that you are a parent of some teens. Otherwise STFU. :D

I'm not a punk, though I do have a thing for safety pins...

The difference between me and you is that I favor freedom over authoritarianism in ALL forms, whether it be at home, in the government, anywhere.

My bad, you are a gay young unsupervised punk with the all the worlds experience of what 14 years? :D
http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y19...Picture282.jpg

Sorry son, that does not wash. You are still a punk with no life experience. And you are going to tell me how to raise my kids. Fuck off. When you get some of your own give me a call. Until then you have no dog in the hunt.

And yet he's made a more reasonable argument than you, in this exchange.

I'm a bi teenage responsible kid with more experience in my 16 years than you've have in your life, old man.

And you know this because of.... how many kids are you responsible for..????:D :D :D :D

And for that matter, TheMercenary, which of the two of us do you think has more respect on this board - the reasonable, nice-as-often-as-possible, quick, witty, sharp, modest teenager or the old fart with a big mouth and an argumentative nature?

I'm sorry, that was rude. Sorry, the rest of you old farts. Youre not all like him.

You are bi confused fag who is totally dependant on someone else for your life, your food, the roof over your head, and your 16 years of jerking off to the thoughts of your mommies titties will never trump my years of worldly expericence. :D

Now wipe that cum off your lips teen slut.

TM, your argument thus far has been "U DONT HAV KIDS SO DONT TELL ME WUT 2 DO11!!1!one!!eleven". Mine has been "If your kids have half a brain at all they can make their own decisions about what is and isnt okay. You teach them how to be safe, and let them do the rest."

Oh yeah, I forgot the part where you tried to discount my argument by calling me gay. Homophobe.


EDIT: okay, after that last hate-fueled, toxic spewage, I think bannage is looking nicer and nicer, UT.

Wow!!!! now that is important! :D Virtual respect of what??? :D You don't even support your own life.


not.

I have mature friends who are gay. They are 100 times more mature and in touch with who they are than you can ever hope to be within the next few years. You are a poser. You have no idea who you are. keep pulling your pud and you may figure out what it is all about someday.

Guys, cellar, help me out here:

Who's more mature, the one who argues calmly and reasonably, with logic and facts and all that jazz, or the one who screams and yells and insults and makes sweeping homophobic generalizations at a teenager?

Let's continue this here, and let cloud's thread continue in peace.

Here in lies the problem. You are a teenager. I am neither yelling nor screaming. You are a young teen with absolutely no life experience and you are going to tell someone who is 3 times your age what life is about??? HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaa! Good one. :D My kids could be your parents. No go sit in the corner and play with yourself.

Fuck you. I will continue where I please thank you punk teen.:D

UT, i think you really might need to deal with this. Split the thread, ban TM, do whatever, but he is getting way out of hand.

Kiss my ass teen. We happen to disagree on the fact that I, as a parent, can or cannot spy on my teens, in my house, on my computers, on my bill, on my time. That is the beginning and end of this issue. You as a teen are not amused that your parent has a right to spy on what ever you do... which I really care not for you personally, but for my kids I have every right to do what I want in my home, and some punk bi-fag teen has no say what-so-ever to do with what goes on in my house. You are a punk with no life experience and you are trying to tell me all about your moral life experience, of which you basically have NONE. So basically what I am telling you is fuck off punk teen. :D

He's right. Mother-fucking asshole/homophobe.

You may have three times as many years, but he has three times the <b>maturity</i>.

Frankly, an elementary-schooler could come up with wittier insults, and a much, much stronger argument.

And excuse my fucked-up HTML

Wipe that squirt of his from your lips... It is really not becoming of you.:p

I don't think that's quite possible, dear. Seeing as he lives halfway around the world from me...

And I prefer chicks.

Maybe he could mail it to you. :D

So let me get this straight. Since I say youre an asshole for for being an overcontrolling little dictator to your poor kids, then you suddenly have the right to break the third law of the cellar ("basically, if you are a troll, attention whore, moron, spammer, single-issue hammer, or otherwise want to hurt this community, you WILL be removed and banned") and be a flaming, yelling, screaming, homophobic, ageist prick?

I'm sorry, TheMercenary, but after this I simply have to call for a ban - or SOME action at the very least. You have fallen to the level of a troll.

...

That's not even worth a reply.