Kids and the Internet

Cloud · 04-19-2007, 10:16 AM

I want to be able to do a "thing" online (a summer reading thing) with my two oldest grandkids. The oldest, who is turning 10, has her own email address (and is closely supervised on the computer, of course). The next oldest, who is turning 8, doesn't, but I'm considering arranging for him to get one.

How old do you think is old enough for your own email address?

How do you keep your kids safe on the Internet? It's a scary place.

SteveDallas · 04-19-2007, 11:35 AM

Yep it's a tough balancing act. I'm convinced an attitude of "the internet is eeevil, keep the kids off it" is counterproductive for many reasons. But how to do it safely?

We're using safeeyes.com, which not only blocks stuff and lets us see where they've been, it also (perhaps more importantly with my daughter) lets us limit the times they're allowed on.

We also set up her email so that anything coming in gets copied to mom.

Cloud · 04-19-2007, 01:20 PM

good tips! I will check them out. Can you set up the duplicate email thing with gmail, do you know?

You can't really keep them off--especially if your focus is learning. It's the same balancing act, really, that you as the "be nice to people" but --"don't talk to strangers."

You want to protect them, but you want them to grow up, too. maybe.

duck_duck · 04-19-2007, 02:26 PM

I was about 10 before becoming interested in the internet and all my parents did was explain the dangers.

SteveDallas · 04-19-2007, 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by duck_duck

I was about 10 before becoming interested in the internet and all my parents did was explain the dangers.

Did it work?? (I guess not.. you ended up here!

)

Cloud, you can go into the settings in gmail and tell it to forward an extra copy of the email to another address. The problem with that is the kid can change it! There are slightly more arcane arrangements if you run your own domain and can have the mail redirected before it gets into the account, but that's probably not worth the trouble.

Cloud · 04-19-2007, 04:35 PM

I think it's probably okay for now--both family's computers are in "family" areas where they can be supervised.

I'm thinking of starting a wiki page for my summer project, that they can contribute to

TheMercenary · 04-19-2007, 07:56 PM

Any parent with a teen in the house should get and have installed on all computers in the house this program, we have it on all of ours and can monitor everything our kids do: http://www.computer-monitoring.com/spectorpro.htm

You can also get this:

http://www.mysafekeeper.com/blockteens/

Ibby · 04-19-2007, 08:31 PM

TheMercenary?

You're a mother-fucking asshole.
No offence.

Cloud:
If your kids are smart, then let them roam the internet to their heart's content. Make sure they know how to be safe and keep them away from the porn, and they'll be perfectly fine. You shouldnt have to shelter them.
I've been a resident of the interwebs since I was nine or ten, and look how I turned out.

(that's supposed to be a PRO-internet argument, thankyouverymuch!)

Cloud · 04-19-2007, 10:34 PM

Whoa! Guys! Just a spectrum of choices here. The links have been useful. I certainly think it's important to supervise; but remember that 1) I'm talking about children under 10 here; and 2) they're not my kids;

--but on the spectrum of monitoring every keystroke to letting them surf to their hearts content, I'd be more inclined to give them a judicious amount of privacy and trust. I certainly wouldn't want every keystroke monitored, now or ever, and I don't think I would want to do that for my kids.

BUT. It's not just porn I'm worried about. It's people. Monetary or sexual predators. Probably a review of historical sites, supervised (i.e., in plain view) surfing, duplicates of emails, and time limits, for now may be fine.

duck_duck · 04-20-2007, 01:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheMercenary

Any parent with a teen in the house should get and have installed on all computers in the house this program, we have it on all of ours and can monitor everything our kids do: http://www.computer-monitoring.com/spectorpro.htm

You can also get this:

http://www.mysafekeeper.com/blockteens/

You are worse than mainland china with the internet. :p

Aliantha · 04-20-2007, 02:29 AM

Cloud, I have a 9 yr old and a 10yr old. They've been browsing the web for about 6months now. Because we own the computer and they browse with our permission, we keep things pretty open at home. I don't use any of the parental snooping devices because I don't like the idea of having to spy on my kids.

I feel that if it gets to a stage where I feel I've got to snoop, then I've done something wrong. That is to say, if the kids can't discuss openly what they're doing online, we need to reset the boundaries. Like Cloud, our computers are generally used in family spaces in the house. That will change shortly when the kids area is built in under the house and perhaps then I'll change my views, but to date, they've never let me down, and I will never expect them to.

I'm realistic enough to know they'll look at porn online sooner or later along with other sites I might consider inappropriate and I hope that when that happens no one feels the need to be deceptive about it.

Supervision is the key. If you really know your kids, most of the battle is won.

Ibby · 04-20-2007, 03:35 AM

Honestly, if my momma and poppa spied on me online, I couldn't be here. But they trust me to use my best judgment about where I go and what I do online - And I know the cellar ain't a threat to anything but my innocence.

Griff · 04-20-2007, 07:41 AM

Very well described Aliantha. That is essentially what we do, keeping it in the open. Cloud needs to consider the parenting style of her grandkids' parents. Her method needs to match theirs. Mercenary has an authoritarian parenting style, his kids will have to be watched very closely because they've always been watched closely. Permissive parents risk raising kids who don't think they are cherished and can find trouble on the net. Authoritative parenting like Aliantha's is most effective for raising kids who can be successful on the net and by extention in a free society.

Undertoad · 04-20-2007, 11:56 AM

My o: The children can be snooped upon as long as they know that they are being snooped upon. The appropriate age not to snoop is when the child can be trusted to understand the issues involved.

Cloud · 04-20-2007, 11:59 AM

Here is something which suggests that kids should use safer search alternatives than Google:

http://childparenting.about.com/od/f...feinternet.htm

and here is a site with some pretty common sense rules:

http://www.safekids.com/

04-19-2007, 10:16 AM	#1
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	Kids and the Internet I want to be able to do a "thing" online (a summer reading thing) with my two oldest grandkids. The oldest, who is turning 10, has her own email address (and is closely supervised on the computer, of course). The next oldest, who is turning 8, doesn't, but I'm considering arranging for him to get one. How old do you think is old enough for your own email address? How do you keep your kids safe on the Internet? It's a scary place. __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

04-19-2007, 01:20 PM	#3
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	good tips! I will check them out. Can you set up the duplicate email thing with gmail, do you know? You can't really keep them off--especially if your focus is learning. It's the same balancing act, really, that you as the "be nice to people" but --"don't talk to strangers." You want to protect them, but you want them to grow up, too. maybe. __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

04-19-2007, 04:35 PM	#6
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	I think it's probably okay for now--both family's computers are in "family" areas where they can be supervised. I'm thinking of starting a wiki page for my summer project, that they can contribute to __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

04-19-2007, 07:56 PM	#7
TheMercenary “Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo” Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Savannah, Georgia Posts: 21,393	Any parent with a teen in the house should get and have installed on all computers in the house this program, we have it on all of ours and can monitor everything our kids do: http://www.computer-monitoring.com/spectorpro.htm You can also get this: http://www.mysafekeeper.com/blockteens/ __________________ Anyone but the this most fuked up President in History in 2012!

04-19-2007, 08:31 PM	#8
Ibby erika Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: "the high up north" Posts: 6,127	TheMercenary? You're a mother-fucking asshole. No offence. Cloud: If your kids are smart, then let them roam the internet to their heart's content. Make sure they know how to be safe and keep them away from the porn, and they'll be perfectly fine. You shouldnt have to shelter them. I've been a resident of the interwebs since I was nine or ten, and look how I turned out. (that's supposed to be a PRO-internet argument, thankyouverymuch!) __________________ not really back, you didn't see me, i was never here shhhhhh

04-19-2007, 11:35 AM	#2
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	Yep it's a tough balancing act. I'm convinced an attitude of "the internet is eeevil, keep the kids off it" is counterproductive for many reasons. But how to do it safely? We're using safeeyes.com, which not only blocks stuff and lets us see where they've been, it also (perhaps more importantly with my daughter) lets us limit the times they're allowed on. We also set up her email so that anything coming in gets copied to mom.

04-19-2007, 02:26 PM	#4
duck_duck Soul Duck Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: over here Posts: 485	I was about 10 before becoming interested in the internet and all my parents did was explain the dangers.

04-19-2007, 10:34 PM	#9
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	Whoa! Guys! Just a spectrum of choices here. The links have been useful. I certainly think it's important to supervise; but remember that 1) I'm talking about children under 10 here; and 2) they're not my kids; --but on the spectrum of monitoring every keystroke to letting them surf to their hearts content, I'd be more inclined to give them a judicious amount of privacy and trust. I certainly wouldn't want every keystroke monitored, now or ever, and I don't think I would want to do that for my kids. BUT. It's not just porn I'm worried about. It's people. Monetary or sexual predators. Probably a review of historical sites, supervised (i.e., in plain view) surfing, duplicates of emails, and time limits, for now may be fine. __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

04-20-2007, 02:29 AM	#11
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	Cloud, I have a 9 yr old and a 10yr old. They've been browsing the web for about 6months now. Because we own the computer and they browse with our permission, we keep things pretty open at home. I don't use any of the parental snooping devices because I don't like the idea of having to spy on my kids. I feel that if it gets to a stage where I feel I've got to snoop, then I've done something wrong. That is to say, if the kids can't discuss openly what they're doing online, we need to reset the boundaries. Like Cloud, our computers are generally used in family spaces in the house. That will change shortly when the kids area is built in under the house and perhaps then I'll change my views, but to date, they've never let me down, and I will never expect them to. I'm realistic enough to know they'll look at porn online sooner or later along with other sites I might consider inappropriate and I hope that when that happens no one feels the need to be deceptive about it. Supervision is the key. If you really know your kids, most of the battle is won. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

04-20-2007, 03:35 AM	#12
Ibby erika Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: "the high up north" Posts: 6,127	Honestly, if my momma and poppa spied on me online, I couldn't be here. But they trust me to use my best judgment about where I go and what I do online - And I know the cellar ain't a threat to anything but my innocence. __________________ not really back, you didn't see me, i was never here shhhhhh

04-20-2007, 07:41 AM	#13
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	Very well described Aliantha. That is essentially what we do, keeping it in the open. Cloud needs to consider the parenting style of her grandkids' parents. Her method needs to match theirs. Mercenary has an authoritarian parenting style, his kids will have to be watched very closely because they've always been watched closely. Permissive parents risk raising kids who don't think they are cherished and can find trouble on the net. Authoritative parenting like Aliantha's is most effective for raising kids who can be successful on the net and by extention in a free society. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

04-20-2007, 11:56 AM	#14
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	My o: The children can be snooped upon as long as they know that they are being snooped upon. The appropriate age not to snoop is when the child can be trusted to understand the issues involved.

04-20-2007, 11:59 AM	#15
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	Here is something which suggests that kids should use safer search alternatives than Google: http://childparenting.about.com/od/f...feinternet.htm and here is a site with some pretty common sense rules: http://www.safekids.com/ __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

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