Worst Movie Title Ever
 

I'm gonna have to go with Captain Corelli's Mandolin. I'm not 100% certain what this movie is about, but the title tells a stupid story.

I'll bet there's this tough, yet sensitive army captain, overseas, and he privately shares his delicate feelings via his stupid mandolin, with some dipshit underling who always remembers him, after he predictably dies leaving his stupid mandolin behind as a reminder to always treasure the precious things in life even under the worst circumstances. Or some equally stupid bullshit as that.

Anybody seen it? Am I right?

Oh, and the story is told via flashbacks. I'll bet.

Stars Nicolas Cage, that is all you need to know.



Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang
Not a porno, actually a good movie, stupid name.
Val Kilmer acts and is funny, who knew :eek:

For me, the worst movie title ever is "Sssssssssssssssssss".
It's about a man who loves snakes and does experiments turning humans into snakes and finally succeeds by turning his daughter's boyfriend into one. Word to the wise, when you turn people into snakes, lock up the mongoose!

Well, there has to be a woman in there somewhere... either the Captain's estranged daughter, who comes to understand and forgive him for his absentee parenting, through her gradual discovery of the joy of mandolin music. Or his lover, pining away for him, her only memento of him being the precious mandolin.

I've seen it. The only thing I vividly remember is Penelope Cruz's boobs, but if I recall, he was an Italian Captain who was stationed in Greece and had it in for ol' Penal-ope and showed her so by delivering wooden lines and playing the mandolin one night, writing a song that he named after her or some shit. They got separated after the war, he was apparently having second thoughts about shagging someone with armpit hair (which they showed in the movie, I didn't need to see that, especially when there were boobs on the screen) and didn't call, so years later he recorded Penal-ope's song and sent it to her on vinyl, assumingly in the hopes that she finally shaved her pits. I think that's more or less it.

Personally, I hold a grudge against movie titles from movies that star Jodie Foster or Ashley Judd. They're like the Sly Stallone or Arnie Schwarzeneggers of action chick flicks, and you can almost always figure out the plot without seeing the movie.

Is this a thread where we are to post what we think are the worst movie titles, or are we to critique this Mandolin movie?

If it's the former, I'll go with The English Patient (someone is English! Someone is a patient! Guaranteed to bore you from title to credits!)

If it's the latter, I haven't seen it.

No, critique the Mandolin movie title. Or post bad movie titles. Or post movies of your titties.

I had the same problem with The Perfect Storm. A movie about some dudes on a boat who get caught in a a bad storm. Am I right? I'll bet you a million dollars. Sample dialogue: "One thing I can say about that storm, it was perfect." ... Hey, let's sit for two hours to see if Marky Mark lives.

Oooh, a clone thread: Worst Movie Titties Ever.

Not only was the storm perfect, it was a storm! Wow!

Ahh, The Perfect Storm. I was wondering who would be the guy to spout off that phrase. I think it was the That Guy from Die Hard 1 and 2, the douchebag reporter.

It would've been funnier if the fat, black cop from Die Hard said it.

Problem is, many of these bad movie titles are in fact book titles.
And the only damn thing that Hollywood keeps in tact when it plunders books is the title anyway.

Just wait til they make the film of my autobiography - Pinko Globe-Trotting Cunt-Kicker. We'll see how valuable my bestselling title is to them!

Sometimes a titles so bad it's good though. Muthafuckin' Snakes on a Plane, anyone?

That's dead sexy. Speaking of dead...who would want a snakes on the plane tattoo to take to their grave. "Hey dude. i like the movie. It rocked. Here it is on my arm."

It's going to look real nice when his arm rug grows back in and he has hairy snakes on a plane.

:vomit:

:lol2: @ S!@# (s123) again

Hmm, I like S!@#

It makes you sound like a censored expletive.

I have censory depriexplevation.

Here are some good-bad movie titles:

Picture Mommy Dead
Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things
The House that Dripped Blood
I Spit on Your Grave
House of 1000 Corpses
Texas Chainsaw Massacre

To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar

Robot Jox....that has to be a contender right?....oh yeah and one of my favourite bad movie titles: Lurking Fear

I Know What You Did Last Summer

Not a big fan of hairy snakes. Trimmed is good though. ;)

LOL! Somehow, I am not surprised.

My vote is "Dumb and Dumberer"

Again - great book though! Well, great teen horror, which I read as a 13 yo, can't promise it would stand up now.

For me, bad titles are lazy, lazy sequels.
Make the second film stand on its own two feet with a competely different name! You're not really telling me the average movie-goer won't realise that the new film out starring Sylvester Stallone as an Italian-American boxer is connected to the last one? Or that the new film with the man in a Dennis the Menace jumper with a shiny manicure isn't perhaps part of a franchise?

My favourite good-bad?
The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the Eighth Dimension
Damn, I'd like to get stoned and watch that again. Naked. With pizza.
Sigh.

oh hell yeah! I'd have to say almost any movie is improved watching it naked with pizza!

This one was television: Kindred: The Embraced.

Yeah, sure, vampires or something. Had a season or maybe two. I just found it such a no-brainer that one would embrace kindred that it just let the air out of the whole thing. Too, too dumb.

Dude...I was totally gonna go with that one. God damn it.

Not a movie title,. but Sundae just reminded me of a game title from years ago. It was on the Commodore Vic 20 (my first comp) and had the best worst title of any game or film:

Metagalactic Llamas Battle at the Edge of Time.

Metagalactic, time-travelling, battle llamas? This is from a special category of bad titles, those that are based on "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" ...

Wasn't that the mockbuster for Transformers?

I tried that, and it wasn't as great as I'd hoped.
This is a truly horrible movie title. Jesus.

Except that the Llamas pre-dated the Turtles by a couple of years. It was released by the company Llamasoft.

Nope. It's a low-budget, post-nuclear holocaust, Sci-fi film, directed by Stuart Gordon and starring amongst others my all-time favourite horror actor, Jeffrey Combs :P

Does everyone know what "como se llama" means? It means "what is the name of your llama."

lol

Ishtar

Santa Claus vs. the Martians.

was a pretty good MST3K movie, though. I laughed and laughed and laughed...

Here's a list of them:

http://www.mutantreviewers.com/rmovietitles.html

There may be a fine line between good and bad, but I place Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo squarely on the "good" side.

In the good-bad category, let's not forget:

C.H.U.D. (Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers)
The Worm Eaters
Surf Nazis Must Die
Curse of the Queerwolf (one of my favorites)

I seem to recall a "Surf Ninjas" back in the heyday of the ninja craze...

The Queerwolf? ha ha ha If he bites you, you turn gay?!

You've seen it? I like the scene when the dog climbs in the microwave oven.

http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0094930/

The writer and director, Mark Pirro, is also the creator of Submissive Jesus, which has been discussed here before.

Not just the biting. You have to suck on the...wound, a little.:D

That's what she said.

"Ishtar" doesn't count. It's a bad movie, not a bad movie title.

How 'bout "Hedwig and the Angry Inch?"

hedwig was A GREAT movie! and the title? to die for!

Free Willy

$
The Vampire Lesbians Of Sodom
American Flatulators
Kung Fu From Beyond The Grave
Brainsmasher: A Love Story
Black VooDoo Priest

And how about this little ditty from porn....

The Continuing Adventures of Dr. Fellatio, Part 32

Part 32?
Were there that many loose ends from the first 31 parts?
Or is this one of Dr. Who's unmentioned adventures?

Oh please say it is.....

Ooh, don't let Ibram see you criticising anything about Hedwig!