So, Like, I got Hired ...
 

http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=24897

yeah. really.

I was out having lunch with the girlfriends. We went to a new tea house, since our special one got run into the ground and went out of business because the new owner was a complete idiot.

Now, there are certain rules for being in a teahouse, and not disrupting the tranquility with a cellphone is one of them.

So my phone was shushed and in my pocket.

Just after the soup and savory the phone started ringing. I decided to check out who it was and just put it away.

OMGOMGOMG, I know that phone number. It's the place where I've been interviewing ...

I'll cut the suspense here.

I'm hired.

Well, pending the results of a couple of tests, one of which the teahouse helped me "study" for. I had two pots of tea and some extra water.

Assuming the test comes back negative (it will, trust me), I'll start with the next orientation class.

Well, I hope it will.

There were poppyseeds in the salad dressing. The pee-lady assured me that wouldn't be an issue, though.

WORD.


congrats, babe!

Thank you, my dear!

Good luck to everyone else who is doing the same kind of searching!

Good stuff wolf. :)

OUTSTANDING, Red Team, outstanding! Get you a case of beer for that one.

:jig:

That is the freaking awesomest. I'm so happy for you!

OK that was a bad idea! You just gave them a sample of water.

At better labs, dilution requires a re-test. At worse labs, I don't know if they find it.

I knew a guy who swears he was marked as having failed due to dilution, but I don't believe him. But this may be important: remember, if they try to fail you due to dilution, jump up and down and threaten legal activity at the top of your voice. That will be your only recourse.

Accurately answering test-takers is not her job. It can definitely be an issue. Snopes agrees.

So: at the end of the day, you may be lucky enough to have actually diluted yourself out of a false positive.

Trust you, no! If you want to know how to pass a drug screen, ask someone who does drugs!

Because there are a few ways to guarantee passing a drug screen.

But not doing drugs is not one of them.

Playtime's over! Back to work!

Even the cheap tests screen for the presence of urine in the urine.

I've been handed a lot of cups of water over the years. I know how that trick is done.

I was impressed by the procedures at the place. Clever, they are.

hurraaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Well done, so happy for you :)

OMG Fabulous news! I cannot understand how you've not been snapped up long ago! X


Sent by thought transference

:jig:

VERY happy about this.

I hope our other unemployed and underemployed folks have similar progress soon.

so certain are you. always with you it cannot be done.

Hooray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank God, I was really jonesing for some new Really Cool/Really Suck stories.

Congrats to you! :thumb:

Teh Bunny!

Just in time for Easter, too!

Great news, hope you ace the whizz quiz!

Congrats Wolf

'Bout time, you should have used your majik long ago. Is this private sector?

Me too!

Yes, it is.

I had been using the majik, but I hadn't turned it up to 11. A lot of the time I would have been searching more aggressively, I was spending time with crazynurse.

What!? I've been doing urinalysis for the Army for 20 years now, the best way to pass a drug screen is to not do drugs. Or have the prescription for the ones you are taking.

By the way. CONGRATS WOLF!!!!!

Wolf, I am thrilled that you are joining the workforce again. Sad for your geocacheing adventures though ;)

We'll have to do lunch again to celebrate. Hugs.

Congrats Wolfie!

Oh, and Carrot would like to congratulate you too, with a wet puppeh kiss (with teeth).

I loves the puppy kisses!

Thanks everyone. Will advise as the adventure proceeds.

Am puzzled by the codes in this thread.
The Mighty UT seems concerned in some unfathomable way. Questioning the Wolf? Seas boiling, the moon turns to blood etc.
Anyway, discreet is as discreet does.

I'm made up for you Wolf. I know the pain of unemployment.
It's the opposite of winning or inheriting shedloads of money in that getting work is like breathing again.

Very good news-congratulations!

Well lucky you! (Would you be notified of a false positive or just retested?)

Doesn't work for everyone at every lab though. Plenty of proof of that is available.

They aren't testing for drugs so not doing drugs is no guarantee. That's my point.

I'm not sure if they get that, unless what you are saying is that they are testing for drug metabolites rather than the actual substance?

Congratulations Wolf.:celebrat:



On an unrelated note, although I love tea I have never been to a tea house. This has a lot to do with the fact that many of them have very limited hours of operation.

:rant:

BTW, I do think drug testing has gotten out of hand. The original excuse was to test for impairment, especially during to the operation of heavy machinery or vehicles. It has since devolved into a weird public-private partnership to invade privacy and check for even trace amounts of illegal drugs.

Let's say you get to choose your bus driver. It's Monday and:

1) Bus driver A has not had alcohol or drugs recently. He did, however, stay up the night with a crying baby so his wife could sleep. He's had about 3 hours sleep, on and off.

2) Bus driver B went on a drinking binge on Saturday and spent Sunday drying out.

3) Bus driver C smoked 1 marijuana cigarette on Friday night.

Because marijuana is illegal, even a trace amount will get driver C reprimanded or fired even though he is probably the least impaired of the group.

I don't drink or use drugs, but part of the lessons I learned from history is that the most progress is made when people care about issues outside of their narrow self interest.

I really wish I could start a company and announce with a big banner "We don't f***king care about your drug use, just show up ready to work". I could then get all of the best and brightest who would normally be worried about random testing.

I we applied strict random testing rules to 'ALL' employees, how many CEO's would have gotten the axe? How many U.S. presidents?

That's great news, wolf...Congratulations.

My daughter is Trauma Mgr, ER Nurse, and Continuing Ed Instructor for Central Oregon.
She was asked to substitute on a 1-day, 2-hr trauma class at our local PDX Community College.
Since it had been more than a year from her last teaching session there,
they said she had to re-qualify her credentials.

It was like getting a Driver's License, Passport, Nurse Certification, and dog license all over again.
She had 13 pages of forms, much of which was repetitious Name, Address, SS, ....

But she also had to document continuity of education since high school,
and continuity of employment since Nursing School,
and continuity of certification in teaching nursing trauma,
plus drug testing and a back-ground check.

It was double-whammy, because it was she who had trained the instructor in that same 3-credit course.

My God, Homeland Security has spread like oil on water.
No wonder medical costs are out-of-hand.

P.S. She did refuse to leave her daughter as collateral.

I am sufficiently desperate for work that I took the test without complaint. tester won't take them on principle, and has been refused several positions because of that. I'm not as hard line.

The facility in question is a drug and alcohol rehab. I understand why they would want to test their people, especially since in that industry it's very common to have "alumni" work for you after a sufficiently long period of sobriety.

In the department in which I will work, I will deal with a lot of incoming patients and property. Now, I've spent a lot of years identifying and inventorying oxycontin, ms-contin, House's Little Helpers, various types of speed, weed, crack, heroin, powder cocaine, booze of all varieties (the Randall Cunningham collectible wine was unique, though ... we gave that back to the patient on discharge because of it's collector value (the bottle was signed) and because we knew he didn't drink), but places do have stuff "disappear" that was supposed to be wasted. I went through a period where they were trying to catch someone doing it.

Hell, there's a hospital locally that announces on the job website that they now have a policy not to hire anyone who uses nicotine, and they test for it. Welcome to the brave new world.

If you should happen to have a weekday off, it might be nice to take the mrs. to tea. It's mostly the domain of the ladies, though. I can't remember ever seeing a dude in a teahouse, but I suppose it does happen. It's fun and it's relaxing.

congrats wolf!! that's awesome!

Afternoon tea, now that I get.
This is the Country House hotel I used to work in. Mum's been to tea with her ladies more than once.

(I never knew it to be served outside though. In front of a blazing fire is more likely)

Well, I must have peed properly.

I just finished completing the mass of pre-hire paperwork! There was a darn lot of it.

That tea looks lovely, It is more expensive that here, though. A full tea (with both soup and savory) usually runs around $25, which at today's rate is around 16 pounds. We also tend to go through lots of tea. I had two pots, for example, which helped me to "study" for the drug test.

This is the place I went to most recently: http://www.tillymints.com/

Looks like we get more variety of tea, too, mostly of flavored teas and tissanes.

That's like bragging about a pub that has more flavors of milk.....

Way to go, Wolf. :thumb:

Brawndo has metabolites!

It's really more like bragging about a pub that has more brands and varieties of beer.

Congrats on returning to the workforce, Wolf!

And now the next challenge. I need Tim Gunn to come to the house, and provide me guidance (I have his book here somewhere, I have to find it. I'm sure my questions are answered in there).

For more than the last 19 years, I have worked in an environment where I wore jeans and sneakers and tee shirts (often decorated tee shirts) every single day. Sometimes I would wear a polo shirt instead of a teeshirt, especially ones with the facility logo embroidered on them.

Well, guess what I can't wear at the new place? It's actually in the employee handbook they made me read. Jeans. Sneakers. Tee-Shirts.

Dress code is "business casual," which I know has a lot of leeway.

But I need help. Is there a fashion maven out there who can save me from myself?

Did you mean to say "guess what I can't wear...?"

The big question is, do you want to go more towards androgynous, or more towards feminine business casual? Because I'm pretty sure you could get away with polo shirts and slacks in most places, if that's what you want to keep wearing. Otherwise, my mom is a recovering anti-fashion maven, and she said she found this site really helpful.

You are completely right. I'll fix it.

This link from your post is unintentionally funny ...

Now, I know that the point of the site is for folks on the other side of the half-century mark. I'm there myself, but I've figured out all on my own that chartreuse is not my color, nor is anything else I would describe as day-glo, and plunging necklines are not a good look for me.

But, the old nuthouse, it was nicknamed 50.

Like, I'm drinkin' 40s at the 50 with the 911 crew?

Kinda.

So ... the result of the first shopping expedition ...

TJ Maxx - Useless. Nothing appropriate, even outside of my size range. Within my size range ... oh my. I have never seen clothing so completely horrible. Orange tanks with spaghetti straps? Such things should not even be made in those sizes! Think of the children!

Dress Barn Woman - Now has a lower high-end size cut-off. Even if they didn't, still wouldn't have tried anything on. Low necklines and maxi dresses are not work appropriate. Everything was in a horribly loud print. Oh, please, didn't they stop making stuff like that in the Seventies?

Payless Shoes - Just happened to be next door to the Dress Barn. Figured I wouldn't find a darn thing. Self fulfilling prophecy, there. Why oh why do they make size 12 shoes only in Narrow? Nobody's foot has that shape! Oh, and why are there only two kinds of shoes ... plaid sneakers (converse look-alikes) and spike heels? If you need a size 12 a heel is really not a good option.

Fashion Bug - I had pretty much given up the shopping idea by the time I got to the third store. But the lady who was tidying up at the front door was very cheery and nice. I explained my issue. She pointed out a store special of the day, something called a "crinkle top," which had a nicely decent collar, not a deep V, and some decent color choices. I got one that's mainly blues and purples, and pushed the envelope a little and chose one that's fuscia and white, but really not in-your-face about it. I also got some nice slacks, one pair of gray and one in black. At least I think they're black. They were darker than the dark brown ones I held them next to. So, two outfits, or four if you count swapping tops and bottoms.

I also bought a couple things on QVC last night. Have to see what stays and what goes back when it gets here.

EDIT TO ADD: Another nice thing about Fashion Bug ... they are doing this charitable donations push thingy ... you can round your purchase up to the nearest dollar to donate to Autism Speaks.

Wolf, I really feel your pain on the sizing issue. I have the same problems, esp regarding footwear.

Mary recommends that you try Dillard's, Catherine's, Avenue and Ross. Good luck on the new job!

Love

Pam

Another shopping foray ... this time to Target. I didn't have much hope for them, but was surprised.

Total time, including parking, finding the women's department, cruising the racks, three fitting room trips and an at the rack try-on, checkout: 1/2 hour (travel time excluded)

Total cost: $29. I had a $5 gift card from a Keurig coffee promotion a couple months ago, and 5 cents off for bringing my own shopping bag. Oh, there was an extra 5 minutes wasted at the checkout because the checker couldn't figure out how to credit me the five cents for the bag and screwed up the cash register.

How much did I get for the $29? five blouses in assorted colors and a jacket.

Clearance racks rock.

:facepalm:

Ya pay minimum wage, ya get minimum skill.

Congratulations on the job!!!

My go-to work uniform is khaki slacks and a dress shirt. I have various sources for shirts, but Target is my go-to for cheap, reasonably durable khakis.

If you're still shopping, Kohl's is pretty popular with the girls here.

I'm waiting on the arrival of the sales coupons for Kohls.

Start on Monday?

Thursday. I have to go to "orientation," which I assume means "we spend the day explaining the policies you just read in the Employee Handbook."

The hosiery expedition is a success, but I do have to go back for some returns. I got a load of knee-his in assorted colors (off black, coffee, and something called platina, didn't see the need for white, I'm not a nurse), and two pairs of pantyhose in the event of an emergency.

I got some bras, too, but they are going back. Uncomfortable. I'll stick with my preferred brand.

Returned two of the bras, decided to try some on in the store, ended up buying three.

The Mrs loves the QVC outlet in Frazer, especially when they have %75 off. A decent selection of plus size items.

I have been there, but not in a while. I love it too, but I tend to get distracted by the other items I've seen on air that are now super cheap.