So, Like, I got Hired ...

wolf · 03-23-2012, 07:07 PM

http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=24897

yeah. really.

I was out having lunch with the girlfriends. We went to a new tea house, since our special one got run into the ground and went out of business because the new owner was a complete idiot.

Now, there are certain rules for being in a teahouse, and not disrupting the tranquility with a cellphone is one of them.

So my phone was shushed and in my pocket.

Just after the soup and savory the phone started ringing. I decided to check out who it was and just put it away.

OMGOMGOMG, I know that phone number. It's the place where I've been interviewing ...

I'll cut the suspense here.

I'm hired.

Well, pending the results of a couple of tests, one of which the teahouse helped me "study" for. I had two pots of tea and some extra water.

Assuming the test comes back negative (it will, trust me), I'll start with the next orientation class.

Well, I hope it will.

There were poppyseeds in the salad dressing. The pee-lady assured me that wouldn't be an issue, though.

jimhelm · 03-23-2012, 07:09 PM

WORD.

congrats, babe!

wolf · 03-23-2012, 07:10 PM

Thank you, my dear!

Good luck to everyone else who is doing the same kind of searching!

Aliantha · 03-23-2012, 07:11 PM

Good stuff wolf.

BigV · 03-23-2012, 07:11 PM

OUTSTANDING, Red Team, outstanding! Get you a case of beer for that one.

infinite monkey · 03-23-2012, 07:11 PM

That is the freaking awesomest. I'm so happy for you!

Undertoad · 03-23-2012, 07:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf

http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=24897
Well, pending the results of a couple of tests, one of which the teahouse helped me "study" for. I had two pots of tea and some extra water.

OK that was a bad idea! You just gave them a sample of water.

At better labs, dilution requires a re-test. At worse labs, I don't know if they find it.

I knew a guy who swears he was marked as having failed due to dilution, but I don't believe him. But this may be important: remember, if they try to fail you due to dilution, jump up and down and threaten legal activity at the top of your voice. That will be your only recourse.

Quote:

There were poppyseeds in the salad dressing. The pee-lady assured me that wouldn't be an issue, though.

Accurately answering test-takers is not her job. It can definitely be an issue. Snopes agrees.

So: at the end of the day, you may be lucky enough to have actually diluted yourself out of a false positive.

Quote:

Assuming the test comes back negative (it will, trust me)

Trust you, no! If you want to know how to pass a drug screen, ask someone who does drugs!

Because there are a few ways to guarantee passing a drug screen.

But not doing drugs is not one of them.

HungLikeJesus · 03-23-2012, 07:48 PM

Playtime's over! Back to work!

wolf · 03-23-2012, 07:49 PM

Even the cheap tests screen for the presence of urine in the urine.

I've been handed a lot of cups of water over the years. I know how that trick is done.

I was impressed by the procedures at the place. Clever, they are.

monster · 03-23-2012, 07:52 PM

hurraaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Well done, so happy for you

limey · 03-23-2012, 07:54 PM

OMG Fabulous news! I cannot understand how you've not been snapped up long ago! X

Sent by thought transference

ZenGum · 03-23-2012, 07:57 PM

VERY happy about this.

I hope our other unemployed and underemployed folks have similar progress soon.

Undertoad · 03-23-2012, 08:03 PM

Quote:

I've been handed a lot of cups of water over the years. I know how that trick is done.

I was impressed by the procedures at the place. Clever, they are.

so certain are you. always with you it cannot be done.

Griff · 03-23-2012, 08:04 PM

Hooray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Clodfobble · 03-23-2012, 10:11 PM

Thank God, I was really jonesing for some new Really Cool/Really Suck stories.

03-23-2012, 07:07 PM	#1
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	So, Like, I got Hired ... http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=24897 yeah. really. I was out having lunch with the girlfriends. We went to a new tea house, since our special one got run into the ground and went out of business because the new owner was a complete idiot. Now, there are certain rules for being in a teahouse, and not disrupting the tranquility with a cellphone is one of them. So my phone was shushed and in my pocket. Just after the soup and savory the phone started ringing. I decided to check out who it was and just put it away. OMGOMGOMG, I know that phone number. It's the place where I've been interviewing ... I'll cut the suspense here. I'm hired. Well, pending the results of a couple of tests, one of which the teahouse helped me "study" for. I had two pots of tea and some extra water. Assuming the test comes back negative (it will, trust me), I'll start with the next orientation class. Well, I hope it will. There were poppyseeds in the salad dressing. The pee-lady assured me that wouldn't be an issue, though. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

03-23-2012, 07:09 PM	#2
jimhelm a beautiful fool Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: 39.939705 Posts: 4,504	WORD. congrats, babe! __________________ There's a Shadow just behind me. Shrouding every step I take. Making every promise empty, pointing every finger at me. _tool

03-23-2012, 07:10 PM	#3
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Thank you, my dear! Good luck to everyone else who is doing the same kind of searching! __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

03-23-2012, 07:11 PM	#4
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	Good stuff wolf. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

03-23-2012, 07:11 PM	#5
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	OUTSTANDING, Red Team, outstanding! Get you a case of beer for that one. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

03-23-2012, 07:11 PM	#6
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	That is the freaking awesomest. I'm so happy for you!

03-23-2012, 07:48 PM	#8
HungLikeJesus Only looks like a disaster tourist Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: above 7,000 feet Posts: 7,208	Playtime's over! Back to work! __________________ Keep Your Bodies Off My Lawn SteveDallas's Random Thread Picker.

03-23-2012, 07:49 PM	#9
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Even the cheap tests screen for the presence of urine in the urine. I've been handed a lot of cups of water over the years. I know how that trick is done. I was impressed by the procedures at the place. Clever, they are. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

03-23-2012, 07:52 PM	#10
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	hurraaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Well done, so happy for you __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

03-23-2012, 07:54 PM	#11
limey Encroaching on your decrees Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland Posts: 7,016	OMG Fabulous news! I cannot understand how you've not been snapped up long ago! X Sent by thought transference __________________ Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of

03-23-2012, 07:57 PM	#12
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	VERY happy about this. I hope our other unemployed and underemployed folks have similar progress soon. __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

03-23-2012, 08:04 PM	#14
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	Hooray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

03-23-2012, 10:11 PM	#15
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	Thank God, I was really jonesing for some new Really Cool/Really Suck stories. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

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