How long should you wait?
 

Okay, so, imagine you're friends with a girl for a few months, and for most of that time she has a boyfriend. During this time you realise you would like to be more than friends with her, but obviously can't do anything about it. Then she breaks up with her boyfriend. Is it appropriate to then ask her her out? How long should you wait before doing it? This may or may not be hypothetical.:neutral:

Is her ex-boyfriend your boy, your old chap, your comrade? If so, then you have to follow designated "Man Law" accordances and wait 6 months until she can be considered on the market therefore not ruining the relationship with your bro. If he is not one of your homies, feel free to comfort her and let her talk to you and make your move within a few weeks, but no too hasty, young padawon, for she will think you are a prowler.

No, the guy is nothing to do with me. I wouldn't even be considering it if he were. Thanks for the response.:thumb:

I'd take the cue from her. She may or may not want to date again for a long time...depending on many factors. As her friend, you can be there for her and see where it goes.

Good luck!

Thanks, Shawnee. I don't think she's hugely upset about the breakup, but at the same time I understand that she might very well need some time. If and when I speak to her about it I'll tell her that she can take it as slowly and take as much time as she likes, but I'm not sure when even that sort of approach will be appropriate.

If she's "not hugely upset" about it, don't wait to tell her how you feel. Maybe give it a few days or even a week, but any longer and you risk sitting on the sidelines again while she starts up with another guy.

Maybe she's been attracted to you all along but never did anything because she's been in a relationship.

Of course, maybe not. Only one way to find out.

True, glatt.

King, if your feelings are not reciprocated, will you two still be able to be friends?

Yeah, that's a concern.

A few of my friends definitely think so. I'm not as sure.

I would like to be, but I think it would be awkward.

AWKWARD!

(tangent) What a buzz kill, huh. A great date, then one irrelevant unneccesary out of place line and bam! O___O So yeah...
Initial dating, like the first 3 months was so fun because it was so tense, so unscripted, you weren't sure how she'd react to you, unpredictable! At least my take heh.

Might be awkward for a while, but it can be done. My ex husband and I are the best of friends.

Just show-up at her house drunk and horny at 3am and never call her again.
Works for most guys.

Other than that, I would wait a couple of days, fuck-it.

Go for it. There is absolutely , positively, no possible way to predict in advance what will come of doing this or doing that. There are too many variables, most of which you can't even be aware of. So follow your dick... uh, heart.

Just make sure you don't get screwed over with the "someone else asked her out the day before I was going too" situation.

Yeah, I definitely don't want that. It's a fine line between asking too soon and looking inconsiderate and as if I was only ever friends for the wrong reasons, and waiting too long, making it seem as if I'm not interested, and potentially someone else getting there first. Damn, this is hard.

That was my thinking. Plus, I'm a dork and ok with it. I tell people how I feel.