Screw food...
 

...gimme coffee and cigarettes.

I thought screw food was oysters and ginseng. What have I been missing out on?

HA!

I thought screw food was microwave burritos and Wild Turkey?

Scratch that...I think pot, Wild Turkey, then Waffle House...now that's screw food!

So I was having a party, and decided to make it a theme party, and sent out the invitations to say it was a "mood party". Guests were to come dressed as some kind of mood.

So all was going well until two of my Pakistani* friends turned up. They were both naked. One was holding a bowl of custard so that his dick drooped into it, and the other had made a hole in a pear and put his dick through it.

"What the hell moods are you two?" I asked.

"I am deep in despair" said one.

"Yeah, and I am fucking disgusted"


* The accent is necessary for the joke. It could have been Indian, but this joke was originally told to me by a Pakistani.

So sorry, I thought you said, "Goats."

Would've worked with Jamaicans too.
Although I suspect one if them would've been fucking dis beercan.

I'm not sure that's a mood.

And I know exactly to which arrow of desire your signature line refers, and what you intend to do with it when it is brought.

The mood would have been longing. So there.

If you do know what I am referring to in my sig, you will know it's not actually Arrow I desire :yum:
I suspect you have it right though. Being a smart chap and me being relentlessly predictable.

FTFY.

yeesh.

Huh?

Goddamn lousy rain!