Skills Vs. Looks
 

I was just wondering--what do you find more important, the skills your lover possesses or the looks of your lover? I used to think it was the look but now, older and wiser, I know it's all skill! Now, don't get me wrong, of course there has to be some sort of initial attraction and I'm not talking about a person who would totally physically turn you off, but as I grow into it I find sex is really about the brain and not the crotch--well, not as much as it used to be! :)

Just to clarify, do you mean skill in bed? Or are you referring to the ability to replace the garbage disposal or wire up a telephone jack?

Sorry! Skill in bed! D'OH! :smack:

What's wrong with having both? (says the reclusive, Kaczynski looking bumbler )

Oh well, my most useful skill is probably upgrading the computer or figuring out why the DSL stopped working. I'm sure the other areas are nothing to write home about. ;)

I'd like to dutifully report that I can both lick a computer problem and lick a...

Oh...sorry. Getting a little out of line, there.

Well, it's a safe bet that the looks will change (for better or worse, it could happen) as years go by. Skill probably wouldn't. But before skill is assessed, I think ability/desire need to be looked at. If he can't get it up or she never wants to, then how much skill would be totally moot. :D

pretty good around the house then eh?... nudge nudge... winks as good as a nod to a blind bat eh?

Griff--is it safe to say your wife's a goer?

I think it's vital to be physically attracted to the other person - this keeps the passion high throughout the course of the act. The more attracted I am to someone, the more I enjoy giving them pleasure. The more pleasurable it is for them, the more exciting it is for me.

Attraction is based on a number of factors - not purely physical. Personally, I go for kind-hearted intellects with a wacky sense of humor. I also like dark hair and I have a thing for broad muscular hands.

Sexual skills are a very important part of the mix. I need to be with someone who has motivation and techniques on par with my own. A mis-match either way diminishes the experience. There's nothing more amazing than being highly aroused and completely going for it with someone who is in the same state. When both of you are totally in the moment, allowing any inhibitions to go by the wayside - this is the best and most satisfying type of experience.

Ahhh, it's all about chemistry/physical attraction. Keep it superficial is my motto! :D Actually, the best worst lover I ever had was a man I fell for the first time I ever heard him speak. We were at a meeting and he was sitting behind me, so I hadn't noticed him until he was called upon to talk. He was so droll with the best self-deprecating, dry wit. I turned around to see who was talking and damned if he didn't look just like Robert Redford in his younger days! The combination of looks and wit absolutely captivated me. I knew he would be no good for me and I knew I didn't give a damn. What a merry chase that was! My current SO also captured my heart across a crowded room, but in rather a different manner. I was at an open mike at a coffee shop and he got up on stage and began to play classical guitar like Segovia. One rendition of "Recuerdos" and I was a goner. So is that looks or skill? Hmmm... Let's just say he has things he can do with his hands and leave it at that! ;)

You can't force attraction but skills can be learnt. I'll leave it at that.

The content of the package is more important than the wrapping ...

Looks don't mean much in the dark. And even with the lights on, looks don't last forever. My wife happens to be super good looking, but that's not why I'm with her. She's not too skillful either. I didn't get to find out until after we were married. This is only due to inexperience. That's ok. It just means I'll have to make sure we do it a lot so I can teach her the ropes.....and blindfolds....etc... :)

are we saying they are mutually exclusive? i think either one works just fine, depending on the momentary need. when you put them together - now it is time to watch the sparks fly.