Skills Vs. Looks

Trilby · 10-04-2004, 03:21 PM

I was just wondering--what do you find more important, the skills your lover possesses or the looks of your lover? I used to think it was the look but now, older and wiser, I know it's all skill! Now, don't get me wrong, of course there has to be some sort of initial attraction and I'm not talking about a person who would totally physically turn you off, but as I grow into it I find sex is really about the brain and not the crotch--well, not as much as it used to be!

SteveDallas · 10-04-2004, 03:25 PM

Just to clarify, do you mean skill in bed? Or are you referring to the ability to replace the garbage disposal or wire up a telephone jack?

Trilby · 10-04-2004, 03:26 PM

Sorry! Skill in bed! D'OH!

slang · 10-04-2004, 03:34 PM

What's wrong with having both? (says the reclusive, Kaczynski looking bumbler )

SteveDallas · 10-04-2004, 05:39 PM

Oh well, my most useful skill is probably upgrading the computer or figuring out why the DSL stopped working. I'm sure the other areas are nothing to write home about.

Elspode · 10-04-2004, 07:37 PM

I'd like to dutifully report that I can both lick a computer problem and lick a...

Oh...sorry. Getting a little out of line, there.

Cyber Wolf · 10-04-2004, 07:38 PM

Well, it's a safe bet that the looks will change (for better or worse, it could happen) as years go by. Skill probably wouldn't. But before skill is assessed, I think ability/desire need to be looked at. If he can't get it up or she never wants to, then how much skill would be totally moot.

Griff · 10-04-2004, 07:56 PM

pretty good around the house then eh?... nudge nudge... winks as good as a nod to a blind bat eh?

Trilby · 10-04-2004, 08:27 PM

Griff--is it safe to say your wife's a goer?

Jacquelita · 10-04-2004, 08:41 PM

I think it's vital to be physically attracted to the other person - this keeps the passion high throughout the course of the act. The more attracted I am to someone, the more I enjoy giving them pleasure. The more pleasurable it is for them, the more exciting it is for me.

Attraction is based on a number of factors - not purely physical. Personally, I go for kind-hearted intellects with a wacky sense of humor. I also like dark hair and I have a thing for broad muscular hands.

Sexual skills are a very important part of the mix. I need to be with someone who has motivation and techniques on par with my own. A mis-match either way diminishes the experience. There's nothing more amazing than being highly aroused and completely going for it with someone who is in the same state. When both of you are totally in the moment, allowing any inhibitions to go by the wayside - this is the best and most satisfying type of experience.

10-04-2004, 09:20 PM

Ahhh, it's all about chemistry/physical attraction. Keep it superficial is my motto!

Actually, the best worst lover I ever had was a man I fell for the first time I ever heard him speak. We were at a meeting and he was sitting behind me, so I hadn't noticed him until he was called upon to talk. He was so droll with the best self-deprecating, dry wit. I turned around to see who was talking and damned if he didn't look just like Robert Redford in his younger days! The combination of looks and wit absolutely captivated me. I knew he would be no good for me and I knew I didn't give a damn. What a merry chase that was! My current SO also captured my heart across a crowded room, but in rather a different manner. I was at an open mike at a coffee shop and he got up on stage and began to play classical guitar like Segovia. One rendition of "Recuerdos" and I was a goner. So is that looks or skill? Hmmm... Let's just say he has things he can do with his hands and leave it at that!

Catwoman · 10-05-2004, 09:58 AM

You can't force attraction but skills can be learnt. I'll leave it at that.

limey · 10-05-2004, 05:00 PM

The content of the package is more important than the wrapping ...

Radar · 10-05-2004, 05:07 PM

Looks don't mean much in the dark. And even with the lights on, looks don't last forever. My wife happens to be super good looking, but that's not why I'm with her. She's not too skillful either. I didn't get to find out until after we were married. This is only due to inexperience. That's ok. It just means I'll have to make sure we do it a lot so I can teach her the ropes.....and blindfolds....etc...

lookout123 · 10-05-2004, 05:09 PM

are we saying they are mutually exclusive? i think either one works just fine, depending on the momentary need. when you put them together - now it is time to watch the sparks fly.

10-04-2004, 03:21 PM	#1
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	Skills Vs. Looks I was just wondering--what do you find more important, the skills your lover possesses or the looks of your lover? I used to think it was the look but now, older and wiser, I know it's all skill! Now, don't get me wrong, of course there has to be some sort of initial attraction and I'm not talking about a person who would totally physically turn you off, but as I grow into it I find sex is really about the brain and not the crotch--well, not as much as it used to be! __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

10-04-2004, 03:26 PM	#3
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	Sorry! Skill in bed! D'OH! __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

10-04-2004, 07:37 PM	#6
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	I'd like to dutifully report that I can both lick a computer problem and lick a... Oh...sorry. Getting a little out of line, there. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

10-04-2004, 07:38 PM	#7
Cyber Wolf As stable as a ring of PU-239 Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: On a huge rock covered in water, highly advanced moss and 7 billion parasites Posts: 1,264	Well, it's a safe bet that the looks will change (for better or worse, it could happen) as years go by. Skill probably wouldn't. But before skill is assessed, I think ability/desire need to be looked at. If he can't get it up or she never wants to, then how much skill would be totally moot. __________________ "I don't see what's so triffic about creating people as people and then getting' upset 'cos they act like people." ~Adam Young, Good Omens "I don't see why it matters what is written. Not when it's about people. It can always be crossed out." ~Adam Young, Good Omens

10-04-2004, 07:56 PM	#8
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	pretty good around the house then eh?... nudge nudge... winks as good as a nod to a blind bat eh? __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

10-04-2004, 03:25 PM	#2
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	Just to clarify, do you mean skill in bed? Or are you referring to the ability to replace the garbage disposal or wire up a telephone jack?

10-04-2004, 03:34 PM	#4
slang St Petersburg, Florida Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 3,423	What's wrong with having both? (says the reclusive, Kaczynski looking bumbler )

10-04-2004, 05:39 PM	#5
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	Oh well, my most useful skill is probably upgrading the computer or figuring out why the DSL stopped working. I'm sure the other areas are nothing to write home about.

10-04-2004, 08:27 PM	#9
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	Griff--is it safe to say your wife's a goer? __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

10-04-2004, 08:41 PM	#10
Jacquelita Don't pop a vein Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: in my own mind Posts: 289	I think it's vital to be physically attracted to the other person - this keeps the passion high throughout the course of the act. The more attracted I am to someone, the more I enjoy giving them pleasure. The more pleasurable it is for them, the more exciting it is for me. Attraction is based on a number of factors - not purely physical. Personally, I go for kind-hearted intellects with a wacky sense of humor. I also like dark hair and I have a thing for broad muscular hands. Sexual skills are a very important part of the mix. I need to be with someone who has motivation and techniques on par with my own. A mis-match either way diminishes the experience. There's nothing more amazing than being highly aroused and completely going for it with someone who is in the same state. When both of you are totally in the moment, allowing any inhibitions to go by the wayside - this is the best and most satisfying type of experience.

10-04-2004, 09:20 PM	#11
marichiko Guest Posts: n/a	Ahhh, it's all about chemistry/physical attraction. Keep it superficial is my motto! Actually, the best worst lover I ever had was a man I fell for the first time I ever heard him speak. We were at a meeting and he was sitting behind me, so I hadn't noticed him until he was called upon to talk. He was so droll with the best self-deprecating, dry wit. I turned around to see who was talking and damned if he didn't look just like Robert Redford in his younger days! The combination of looks and wit absolutely captivated me. I knew he would be no good for me and I knew I didn't give a damn. What a merry chase that was! My current SO also captured my heart across a crowded room, but in rather a different manner. I was at an open mike at a coffee shop and he got up on stage and began to play classical guitar like Segovia. One rendition of "Recuerdos" and I was a goner. So is that looks or skill? Hmmm... Let's just say he has things he can do with his hands and leave it at that!

10-05-2004, 09:58 AM	#12
Catwoman stalking a Tom Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: on the edge of the english channel Posts: 1,000	You can't force attraction but skills can be learnt. I'll leave it at that. __________________ I've decided I'm not going to have a signature anymore.

10-05-2004, 05:00 PM	#13
limey Encroaching on your decrees Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland Posts: 7,016	The content of the package is more important than the wrapping ... __________________ Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of

10-05-2004, 05:07 PM	#14
Radar Constitutional Scholar Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Ocala, FL Posts: 4,006	Looks don't mean much in the dark. And even with the lights on, looks don't last forever. My wife happens to be super good looking, but that's not why I'm with her. She's not too skillful either. I didn't get to find out until after we were married. This is only due to inexperience. That's ok. It just means I'll have to make sure we do it a lot so I can teach her the ropes.....and blindfolds....etc... __________________ "I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death." - George Carlin

10-05-2004, 05:09 PM	#15
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	are we saying they are mutually exclusive? i think either one works just fine, depending on the momentary need. when you put them together - now it is time to watch the sparks fly. __________________ Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin

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