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You know what's sad?
I don't find any of this to be new information. Oh, this country. I've also realized that I seem to be quite a rarity because, though i have made a promise to my parents and myself not to have sex until i marry, I am also incredibly horny. This country is so freakin' weird.
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Well, obviously no one is going to give you a nickel every time something common happens, so stop using that idiotic phrase.
Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished, persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot.
-Mark Twain
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