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"Holding to account" only works if there are specific reparations that can be given. When there's nothing you can do about the past, when you don't have a magic button to make them whole again, then no, they don't have a right to punish you and call it deserved. If one of them were asking you to, for example, pay for therapy, then it might be worth examining how much of a role you may or may not have played in who they are today. But assigning blame just for blame's sake is no good for anyone.
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