Pet Peeves!

I think some of us just need to vent - not at any particular person. Just vent. With that in mind...

What are some of your biggest pet peeves?

I'll tell you probably my biggest one - assholes in SUV's. Man. I tell you what - I see more assholes in SUV's than I do in any other type of vehicle. It's almost as if owning an SUV is a permit to drive like a DANGEROUS ASSHOLE. Here's a good little story -

Jenni's bringing me to work one morning in August, and we're getting real close... and we get cut off by a bitch on a cell phone in a green SUV. Man. Just pissed me right off. So I'm like "Fuck! Fucking bitch! Goddammit! Don't bother to fucking SIGNAL, just COME ON OVER!" I wouldn't have minded if they had just gotten in, but they SWERVED in and Jenni had to slow down drastically. So anyway, I'm freshly annoyed about this. We make a turn, and then another turn onto the road my office building is on. Lo and behold, a bitch on a cell phone in a green SUV pulls out of the Bank of America parking lot right in front of us at 35 miles per hour. Man! Jenni nails the brakes so we don't broadside this idiot. Two bitches on cell phones driving green SUV's within 3 minutes of each other! Goddamn.

But yeah. I really just strongly dislike anyone who does stupid things on the road. More people die from car accidents each year than do from most anything else. Yet so many people do the stupidest things on the road! To use a Cellar favorite phrase, the mind boggles!

Here's another one: Rosie O'Donnell. Now, full disclosure: I am a supporter of the Second Amendment. But hear me out. Rosie O'Donnell is a hypocrite. She has repeatedly pushed for gun control laws. She organized and lead the Million Mom March. Her bodyguard is licensed to carry a firearm, and does. Of course, you shouldn't be allowed to have a gun for self protection, but she should. Why? She is no better than me or you! She is no more important than any one else in this world! Oh, of course. Do as I say, not as I do.

Bill Clinton's stance on this also just really fucking bugged me. I didn't think Bill Clinton was an awful President. I thought he was of questionable character and probably not a particularly great role model for children, but I had no major gripe with him. But man. That guy would fight and fight and fight for anti-gun legislation. Well I don't see the Secret Service running around with butterknives to protect you, Mr. President! I don't care if you're the President of the United States - you are a human and an American citizen, and are no more important than any of us non-Presidents. Sure, guns are okay for you to use for protection - but don't even hear the argument that maybe they're good for our protection.

Here's another biggie: fake hackers. Holy shit. Man. Those people just bug the shit out of me! Here's a real conversation I had about 5 years ago on WBS (anyone remember that?).

some dumb guy: I am a hacker!

me: No. If you claim you're a hacker, you're automatically not one.

sdg: Yes I am! Fear me, bitch, or I will give you a virus.

me: Really? I have fear! Oh no.

sdg: Yeah, mother fucker. I am gonna take you down. I'm sending you a virus right now.

me: Ha. Okay. How you doing that, Mr. Hacker? I know for a fact that you don't have my email address, so you can't send me an infected file. Whatcha gonna do?

sdg: I'll infect the picture you're using beside your name and then you'll have it.

me: Riiiiiiiiight. You're a retard. Do you even know what part of a computer a virus generally infects? (This was back in the heyday of mbr viruses)

sdg: Ever hear of the motherboard?

I started laughing at this point.

me: Yeah, I have, and No, that's not the right answer, you fucking idiot. Get the fuck out of here.

That's a real conversation. April of '96. No joke. I got quite the reputation as "He who is called I am." Er, wait. No. I got quite the reputation as the person that scared all the wanna-be hackers out of the channel (alt.music.alternative) and stood up for the people that were generally scared by the stupid pseudo-threats. But they still remain a big pet peeve of mine today. I hate it when people pretend to be something they're not. But I really hate it when they pretend to be a hacker. Just really bugs me.