'Wolf visits the doctor ...

[wolf]

it's not that I don't like doctors ... after all, I spend most of my life around time. I work in a hospital, but of course, not in the kind of hospital where people are actually SICK or anything. (we occasionally have patients with medical issues, but that's usually confined to things like being really, REALLY drunk (like over .300) or just getting over an overdose or something like that.

So, anyway ...

See, I don't get sick. I can count on one hand the number of sick days I've taken in the last 10 years. (one of those was for breaking my hand, another for a recent bout of the stomach flu). This is common for folks in my dept. We play hurt all the time. Plague again? Get a psychiatrist to write you a script for Zithromax and get the hell back to work ...

Well, I got this pain. Upper right abdomen. Shoots up into the right shoulder blade. Upset stomach on top of it all ... Started reviewing basic anatomay ... nah ... appendix is on the LOWER right isn't it? so it can't be that ... Hmmm. Upper right quad, pain to the shoulder blade, thunderous belching ... damn. I know what this is going to turn out to be.

Mebbe it will go away. That's it. It will go away, right?

No such luck.

The pain actually started on 1/29/03. I gave up hope of a mild case of food poisoning from a bad balogna sandwich on 2/1. Made an appointment with my doctor.

I love my doctor. He's a great guy. I've had the same doc since I was 12 years old.

He bounces in to see me ... asks "Hey sunshine, how are you doing?"

What other response could there be ... "I'm miserable Barry. I'm here to see you. You know I have to think I'm about to die. Other than that, I'm doin' okay."

The doc concurs with my diagnosis (which is gall stones, incidentally) and schedules me for an ultrasound. Had that done last wednesday (one week since onset).

Nice tech showed me the monitor while he was doing the test ... he got to the part where he was explaining "and here's your gall bladder ..." when he went "Wow."

I do not like it when radiology techs of any kind go "wow." remember, when my hand fracture was revealed, I had a tech go "Eeeeeuuuuuw."

The "wow" in this instance relates to the fact that I appear to have ONE damn gallstone. It is of impressive size ... 4 cm. I don't know if this is "gets written up in a journal" level of impressiveness, but I sure as hell think it must be ...

So you must be wondering at this point ... what's the next step?

I'm wondering that too ... you see, the test was done last Wednesday (2/5). Thursday is my doc's day off. Friday his sissy-butt practice decided to close because of the snow.

All I can say is that they damn well better break out the sled dogs and make it into work tomorrow, snow or no goddamn snow!!!!!

(I'm running short on motrin.)