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Parenting Bringing up the shorties so they aren't completely messed up

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Old 06-08-2006, 09:30 PM   #1
richlevy
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Graduation Day

Today was Jeffrey's graduation from high school. He is 21 years old and state law only allows someone to be in the school system until they are 21, even with special needs.

Jeffrey graduated from a school for autistic students run by the county intermediate unit. He received two diplomas, one from his school and another from his school district.

Now he begins the next stage of his life. Most of the training for his transition to an adult he was entitled to as a student. As a graduate, he will get whatever support the state can afford. Unfortunately, I was speaking with our local state representative, who was at the graduation, and federal education dollars are drying up. Things were tight even before Iraq and Katrina.
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Old 06-09-2006, 05:44 AM   #2
MaggieL
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Did your state representative give back that midnight pay raise? Some did, some didn't. They thought they had special needs too. Is there a connection between the state rep and access to Federal assistance, or was that just the way the converstion went/was led?

I recall being told that Montgomery County (PA, for the out-of-towners) is a magnet for special needs kids because the programs here are better than elsewhere. Was Jeffrey's school run by MCIU?
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Old 06-09-2006, 09:02 AM   #3
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Congradulations to him. Big kudos to you. You're a good dad.
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Old 06-09-2006, 09:29 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by richlevy
...federal education dollars are drying up. Things were tight even before Iraq...
There's always enough money for what we want but never enough for what we need.
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Old 06-09-2006, 09:37 AM   #5
Griff
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Rich, I'd appreciate it if you could keep us up to speed on his transition. I don't think most of us really get the difficulty of what he's doing.
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Old 06-09-2006, 04:24 PM   #6
warch
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Congratulations Jeffery! All the best as you go beyond school!
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Old 06-09-2006, 06:55 PM   #7
wolf
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MaggieL
I recall being told that Montgomery County (PA, for the out-of-towners) is a magnet for special needs kids because the programs here are better than elsewhere.
I know that is a true statement, from direct experience. I deal with some of the other counties' horror stories.

I have told Rich and his wife several times how impressed I am by Jeffrey's able-ness and level of socialization. Take my word for it, though, the school he attended (an excellent one) is only responsible for a small part of his success. Go Jeffrey, and Go Mom and Dad!!
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Old 06-09-2006, 09:58 PM   #8
richlevy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MaggieL
Did your state representative give back that midnight pay raise? Some did, some didn't. They thought they had special needs too. Is there a connection between the state rep and access to Federal assistance, or was that just the way the converstion went/was led?

I recall being told that Montgomery County (PA, for the out-of-towners) is a magnet for special needs kids because the programs here are better than elsewhere. Was Jeffrey's school run by MCIU?
Actually, he was diagnosed in Bucks County and we later moved to Delaware County. I don't have any experience with MCIU.

Our state representative was presented to us as supportive of special needs. We have dealt with him in the past on more mundane issues like homeowners associations and such, and found his office to be a good resource.

We were discussing transition issues and he mentioned funding issues.

Thanks everyone for the support. I will show Jeffrey all of the messages.
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Old 06-09-2006, 10:18 PM   #9
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CONGRATULATIONS!!
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Old 06-10-2006, 12:54 AM   #10
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Quote:
Is there a connection between the state rep and access to Federal assistance
Probably referring to, some federally mandated, local or state run programs are funded better than others.
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Old 06-10-2006, 07:34 AM   #11
MaggieL
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wolf
Take my word for it, though, the school he attended (an excellent one) is only responsible for a small part of his success. Go Jeffrey, and Go Mom and Dad!!
Kids growth (or, sadly, failure to grow) is always in such a large part attributable to the nurturing they get (or, sadly, fail to get) from the Parental Units... whoever that turns out to be; not always the bioparents..

Not all kids start out from the same place...but how far they go is a measure of how much real support they got from the 'rents.

"Support" also including knowing when to get out of the way, too. :-)


I'd expect a state rep to focus on state programs and Congresscritters to specialize in Federal hookups. Although I guess a lot of Federal funds are administered by states. Why have only two layers of middlemen sponging off the flow when you could have three or more?
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Last edited by MaggieL; 06-10-2006 at 07:39 AM.
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Old 06-10-2006, 11:12 AM   #12
richlevy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MaggieL
I'd expect a state rep to focus on state programs and Congresscritters to specialize in Federal hookups. Although I guess a lot of Federal funds are administered by states. Why have only two layers of middlemen sponging off the flow when you could have three or more?
Services to special needs children in school are handled by school districts through the county intermediate units. In theory, the intermediate units work for the school districts. Special education funding is like regular education funding, a mix of property taxes, state revenue, and federal revenue.

Adult programs are run through multiple agencies, each with different focuses and funding sources. Some are short term and some are longer term. Almost all are underfunded with waiting lists. Due to recent legal decisions some programs, instead of giving some money to all of the people in line, have to give %100 of the available money to the first group of people in line until the money runs out, which is why there is a waiting list.

We have the time and resources to devote to Jeffrey, since I work full time and Marci stays home. In some cases, one parent has to quit a job to take care of the special needs child. In others, a special needs child, who may be legally an adult, is left at home alone. I don't know the legality of that, since many of these children, even after going through the system, have not been legally declared incompetent.

I've seen and heard enough different stories to know that our situation is much better than others. Jeffrey is healthy and happy most of the time. He has a part time job and family supports. You have to sit in a group and listen a mother talk about her severely mentally challenged adult child in a wheelchair and who she would like to find a job for, just to give the child something to do during the day and give her a sense of accomplishment. Unless you've gotten used to seeing it or are some Ann Coulter-like megabitch (or bastard), you have a hard time keeping a neutral expression on your face to keep her from seeing the pity you feel.

Jeffrey is more comfortable with Marci, but I am very happy that he likes to do some things with me. Going to concerts or running the occasional errand is a chance for me to take him places. Watching Jeffrey listening to music is always a treat. He will rock a little bit or tap his feet. Afterwards, I will ask him questions and he will tell me if the music was 'just ok' or 'good'. He has definite opinions about a lot of things. His only real issue is communicating his feelings. When he registered to vote I made sure to go through the entire list of parties and explain as much as I could about being 'independent'. Jeffrey had already made up his mind. On the wall of his room he has an autographed picture of a PA political figure he sent away for.

BTW, he keeps his room amazingly neat, especially compared to his brother.

In my opinion, he has a chance to be independent in the future.
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