micro managing control freak or is it just me?

footfootfoot · 08-28-2006, 08:56 AM

The spousal unit was gone for the day and left the following note. For those of you readers who are just joining the show, I will say that I have been actively parenting my son since he was born and he and I have been spending weekends flying solo, during the school year when my wife is teaching.

Read on and tell me what you think:

Flint · 08-28-2006, 08:58 AM

"if poop occurs" ha ha ha

footfootfoot · 08-28-2006, 09:00 AM

Me: "You mean he poops?"

Undertoad · 08-28-2006, 09:04 AM

The little boxes are highly offensive to me. I suggest constucting a similar list with boxes, and items like "fondle balls" and "lick from base to tip".

Or use the list to wipe your ass and then say it was Molly.

Because I'm rude like that. Actually I'm passive-aggressive and would respond to the list by doing none of it.

MaggieL · 08-28-2006, 09:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flint

"if poop occurs" ha ha ha

Hey, you can get a t-shirt that says essentially that.

"Poop Ocurrs"

Stormieweather · 08-28-2006, 10:35 AM

LOL...I have a bib for my baby that says, Spit happens.

Back to the topic, do you normally forget to do everything except turn on the TV? If so, maybe she's justified. If not...I'd say 'control freak'.

My partner is oblivious, loving...but oblivious. He simply doesn't notice that the baby's diaper is stinky or overflowing. He doesn't much care that she is still in her PJ's in the middle of the afternoon and he totally loses track of what time it is (and that it has been 6 hours since the baby had anything to eat except a bottle). He hugs and cuddles and plays, but the technical details? Hmph.

dar512 · 08-28-2006, 10:42 AM

Well, you did get the little heart at the end. And I suspect that the checkboxes are just bullets of another sort. Does she make lists like this for herself? I suspect she's just trying to be helpful.

Trilby · 08-28-2006, 10:43 AM

I don't like the check boxes either. Waay too much time/effort went into making them. I like UT's idea.

footfootfoot · 08-28-2006, 12:24 PM

Stormie,
I'm quite detail oriented, miles beyond her. inch and I don't usually veg out.

I think this is typical for her as the semester approaches; her anxiety starts crowding her and needs to affix itself to innocent bystanders.

I'm not sure what the check boxes are about either.

Also I think the 15 y.o. neighbor who occasionally looks after inch may need a checklist of this sort.

glatt · 08-28-2006, 12:36 PM

I think it might be a good idea to put down on your calendar for Aug. 1st, 2007 that you should sit down with her and have a talk to map out how to deal with this crap next year, before she's stressed out. Sounds like it's putting a lot of uneeded strain on your relationship. If it's annual and predictable, maybe a solution can be found.

Does she lighten up a little once the semester actually begins, and she's in it full swing?

Beestie · 08-28-2006, 01:17 PM

The last line makes it all better. This is probably exactly the way she would make the list if she were making one for herself. I think you are reading too much into it but you know her better than me.

Not to make too much of it but taking a picture of if and running it up the Cellar flagpole is kind of interesting.

If you really wanted to make a statement about it, fill it out, get it notarized and FedEx it to her with signature required.

dar512 · 08-28-2006, 02:14 PM

foot^3,

What matters is how you feel about it. If it bothers you, talk to her tonight. If you guys argue in a healthy way, you can say, "Honey, I felt very micromanaged by that list you left this morning. Do you really think I need reminding to take the stroller with me?"

Whereupon she can say, "I never intended for you to feel that way, I was just trying to help out." or she can say, "Well I do think you would forget your head if it wasn't screwed on tight. Do you think I overdid it?"

08-28-2006, 02:43 PM

Is it a joke?
Find that out first...
Are you this forgetful... answer truthfully?
If it is no, then I would be pissed, but not enough to start a fight over the first offense, but I would be VERY CLEAR that this was not to happen again.

Clodfobble · 08-28-2006, 03:31 PM

No offense to your wife, but this is very teacher-ly. I have a lot of teachers in my family and they will quickly devolve into treating everyone like gradeschoolers if they're not careful. It's always especially bad right at the beginning of the schoolyear. I think the instructive nature of the note is unintentional, and is only a result of the stress she's under this month. I would definitely mention how it made you feel, but be prepared to cut her some slack for it too.

jinx · 08-28-2006, 04:05 PM

Handwriting needs improvement.

View Poll Results: micro managing
Judging by your posts, you can't be trusted not to leave your kid on the bus	0	0%
I'm sure she has her reasons to suspect you	1	6.67%
Maybe she could lighten up a bit	7	46.67%
Probably there is medication for this.	7	46.67%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 15. You may not vote on this poll

08-28-2006, 08:56 AM	#1
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	micro managing control freak or is it just me? The spousal unit was gone for the day and left the following note. For those of you readers who are just joining the show, I will say that I have been actively parenting my son since he was born and he and I have been spending weekends flying solo, during the school year when my wife is teaching. Read on and tell me what you think: Attached Images __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

08-28-2006, 08:58 AM	#2
Flint Snowflake Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Dystopia Posts: 13,136	"if poop occurs" ha ha ha __________________ **************** There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio**

08-28-2006, 09:00 AM	#3
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	Me: "You mean he poops?" __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

08-28-2006, 10:35 AM	#6
Stormieweather Wearing her bitch boots Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Floriduh Posts: 1,181	LOL...I have a bib for my baby that says, Spit happens. Back to the topic, do you normally forget to do everything except turn on the TV? If so, maybe she's justified. If not...I'd say 'control freak'. My partner is oblivious, loving...but oblivious. He simply doesn't notice that the baby's diaper is stinky or overflowing. He doesn't much care that she is still in her PJ's in the middle of the afternoon and he totally loses track of what time it is (and that it has been 6 hours since the baby had anything to eat except a bottle). He hugs and cuddles and plays, but the technical details? Hmph. __________________ "First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win." - Mahatma Gandhi

08-28-2006, 09:04 AM	#4
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	The little boxes are highly offensive to me. I suggest constucting a similar list with boxes, and items like "fondle balls" and "lick from base to tip". Or use the list to wipe your ass and then say it was Molly. Because I'm rude like that. Actually I'm passive-aggressive and would respond to the list by doing none of it.

08-28-2006, 10:42 AM	#7
dar512 dar512 is now Pete Zicato Join Date: May 2003 Location: Chicago suburb Posts: 4,968	Well, you did get the little heart at the end. And I suspect that the checkboxes are just bullets of another sort. Does she make lists like this for herself? I suspect she's just trying to be helpful. __________________ "Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain." -- Friedrich Schiller

08-28-2006, 10:43 AM	#8
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	I don't like the check boxes either. Waay too much time/effort went into making them. I like UT's idea. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

08-28-2006, 12:24 PM	#9
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	Stormie, I'm quite detail oriented, miles beyond her. inch and I don't usually veg out. I think this is typical for her as the semester approaches; her anxiety starts crowding her and needs to affix itself to innocent bystanders. I'm not sure what the check boxes are about either. Also I think the 15 y.o. neighbor who occasionally looks after inch may need a checklist of this sort. __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

08-28-2006, 12:36 PM	#10
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	I think it might be a good idea to put down on your calendar for Aug. 1st, 2007 that you should sit down with her and have a talk to map out how to deal with this crap next year, before she's stressed out. Sounds like it's putting a lot of uneeded strain on your relationship. If it's annual and predictable, maybe a solution can be found. Does she lighten up a little once the semester actually begins, and she's in it full swing?

08-28-2006, 01:17 PM	#11
Beestie -◊\|≡·∙■·∙≡\|◊- Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Parts unknown. Posts: 4,081	The last line makes it all better. This is probably exactly the way she would make the list if she were making one for herself. I think you are reading too much into it but you know her better than me. Not to make too much of it but taking a picture of if and running it up the Cellar flagpole is kind of interesting. If you really wanted to make a statement about it, fill it out, get it notarized and FedEx it to her with signature required. __________________ ♠ ♥ ♣ ♦

08-28-2006, 02:14 PM	#12
dar512 dar512 is now Pete Zicato Join Date: May 2003 Location: Chicago suburb Posts: 4,968	foot^3, What matters is how you feel about it. If it bothers you, talk to her tonight. If you guys argue in a healthy way, you can say, "Honey, I felt very micromanaged by that list you left this morning. Do you really think I need reminding to take the stroller with me?" Whereupon she can say, "I never intended for you to feel that way, I was just trying to help out." or she can say, "Well I do think you would forget your head if it wasn't screwed on tight. Do you think I overdid it?" __________________ "Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain." -- Friedrich Schiller

08-28-2006, 02:43 PM	#13
rkzenrage Guest Posts: n/a	Is it a joke? Find that out first... Are you this forgetful... answer truthfully? If it is no, then I would be pissed, but not enough to start a fight over the first offense, but I would be VERY CLEAR that this was not to happen again.

08-28-2006, 03:31 PM	#14
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	No offense to your wife, but this is very teacher-ly. I have a lot of teachers in my family and they will quickly devolve into treating everyone like gradeschoolers if they're not careful. It's always especially bad right at the beginning of the schoolyear. I think the instructive nature of the note is unintentional, and is only a result of the stress she's under this month. I would definitely mention how it made you feel, but be prepared to cut her some slack for it too.

08-28-2006, 04:05 PM	#15
jinx Come on, cat. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: general vicinity of Philadelphia area Posts: 7,013	Handwriting needs improvement. __________________ Crying won't help you, praying won't do you no good.

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