Sheryl Crow says you use too much toilet paper

[Undertoad]

via Washington Post

I propose a limitation be put on how many sqares [sic] of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required. When presenting this idea to my younger brother, who's judgement [sic] I trust implicitly, he proposed taking it one step further. I believe his quote was, "how bout just washing the one square out.

Sheryl: I'm pretty sure I know why Lance dumped you, and why you can't keep any other guy for longer than a few weeks. Evidence:

1) You're an insufferable nag over every little tiny thing.
2) Your ass hygiene is utterly foul.

Some guys can get past your #1 but none are going to get past your #2.