Iranian cleric denounces dog owners

Undertoad · 10-15-2002, 07:46 PM

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/mid...st/2326357.stm

A conservative Iranian cleric has denounced the "moral depravity" of owning a dog, and called for the arrest of all dogs and their owners.

Dogs are considered unclean in Islamic law and the spread of dog ownership in Westernised secular circles in Iran is frowned upon by the religious establishment.

"I demand the judiciary arrest all dogs with long, medium or short legs - together with their long-legged owners," Hojatolislam Hassani is quoted as saying in the reformist Etemad newspaper.

Last year he publicly thanked police for their policy of exclusively confiscating short-legged dogs in Urumiyeh.

--

I can speak personally to the moral depravity of owning short-legged dogs. Our two hump each other endlessly in the presence of company. "People are here - it's time to establish dominance. The humping shall now begin."

And not just ordinary humping, no. The female has to mount the male. Optionally they'll have started a tug-of-war, so they'll both share a piece of rope clutched in their mouths, while the wrong-way humping proceeds.

And then there's the licking of various private parts. Not just their own, but each others'. And then there's the bitch, the whore-hound, laying on the sofa with her legs spread, showing off to the world...

hermit22 · 10-15-2002, 07:51 PM

It's a good thing it's near the end of the day, because I laughed so hard at that that the guy in the next office came in to see if I was alright.

Tobiasly · 10-15-2002, 09:25 PM

This is my new dog, Aloysius. Or just Al for short. I wish I could say I bought him to thumb my nose at some Iranian cleric, but that's not the case.

Although that guy is correct about them being unclean. Al didn't much like being in his kennel while we were gone, so the next day we decided to shut him in the bathroom, thinking he'd appreciate a little more wiggle room. (We're working on a fence in the backyard, but it's not finished yet).

I duct-taped cardboard over the inside of the door, and laid down newspaper over the entire floor. When I came home, I found that he had ripped the cardboard off the door, tore up all the newspapers, crapped on the floor, and in his ensuing frenzied attempts to get out, spread shit into every corner, nook, and cranny imaginable. There were little brown paw prints all over the wall. I wish I had taken a picture.

Griff · 10-16-2002, 06:24 AM

I wonder how long it'll be before he finds common cause with our own animal liberation freaks?

We bought a house once from a guy who used the bathroom as a kennel. His pooch had clawed about 3/8" into a solid wood door. Al looks pretty bright though, if you can get his life on some kind of regular schedule he'll come around.

Undertoad · 10-16-2002, 09:03 AM

That boy is trouble. You can see it in his eyes. He's going to eat your headphones.

Cam · 10-16-2002, 11:25 AM

Dang it now I'm getting depressed. My dog is at home and it's a six hour drive, and I'm not going to get to see her until Thanksgiving. Thanks god for the ability to laugh at UT's first post.

warch · 10-16-2002, 12:17 PM

Looks like Al has demonstrated his "dominance" over that frightened wide-eyed penquin.

Tobiasly · 10-16-2002, 11:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Undertoad
That boy is trouble. You can see it in his eyes. He's going to eat your headphones.

That's where you're wrong -- those aren't his eyes. I photoshopped 'em to get rid of the red eye (OK, blue eye in a dog's case). But I think I'll keep my headphones on the top shelf just to be safe.

Quote:

Originally posted by warch
Looks like Al has demonstrated his "dominance" over that frightened wide-eyed penquin.

Yeah, that penguin rocks my world. I went to the store after we got 'em to find a couple chew toys, and when I saw that penguin, it made me think of last week's South Park rerun (w/ the "Chinpokomons" or whatever).

10-16-2002, 11:26 PM

BEEG AMAYDEEKAN PENIS!

Undertoad · 10-17-2002, 12:02 AM

You fooled me!

Are you considering any obedience? Puppy kindergarten is hilarious.

wolf · 10-17-2002, 12:17 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tobiasly

Yeah, that penguin rocks my world. I went to the store after we got 'em to find a couple chew toys, and when I saw that penguin, it made me think of last week's South Park rerun (w/ the "Chinpokomons" or whatever).

I looked at that and the first thing that came to mind was the "Giant Electric Penguin" from the Monty Python skit about "Scott of the Antarctic"

10-15-2002, 07:46 PM	#1
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Iranian cleric denounces dog owners http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/mid...st/2326357.stm A conservative Iranian cleric has denounced the "moral depravity" of owning a dog, and called for the arrest of all dogs and their owners. Dogs are considered unclean in Islamic law and the spread of dog ownership in Westernised secular circles in Iran is frowned upon by the religious establishment. "I demand the judiciary arrest all dogs with long, medium or short legs - together with their long-legged owners," Hojatolislam Hassani is quoted as saying in the reformist Etemad newspaper. Last year he publicly thanked police for their policy of exclusively confiscating short-legged dogs in Urumiyeh. -- I can speak personally to the moral depravity of owning short-legged dogs. Our two hump each other endlessly in the presence of company. "People are here - it's time to establish dominance. The humping shall now begin." And not just ordinary humping, no. The female has to mount the male. Optionally they'll have started a tug-of-war, so they'll both share a piece of rope clutched in their mouths, while the wrong-way humping proceeds. And then there's the licking of various private parts. Not just their own, but each others'. And then there's the bitch, the whore-hound, laying on the sofa with her legs spread, showing off to the world...

10-15-2002, 07:51 PM	#2
hermit22 sleep. Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: So Cal. Posts: 257	It's a good thing it's near the end of the day, because I laughed so hard at that that the guy in the next office came in to see if I was alright. __________________ blippety blah bluh blah blah

10-16-2002, 06:24 AM	#4
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	I wonder how long it'll be before he finds common cause with our own animal liberation freaks? We bought a house once from a guy who used the bathroom as a kennel. His pooch had clawed about 3/8" into a solid wood door. Al looks pretty bright though, if you can get his life on some kind of regular schedule he'll come around. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

10-16-2002, 11:25 AM	#6
Cam dripping with ignorance Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Grand Forks ND Posts: 642	Dang it now I'm getting depressed. My dog is at home and it's a six hour drive, and I'm not going to get to see her until Thanksgiving. Thanks god for the ability to laugh at UT's first post. __________________ After the seventh beer I generally try and stay away from the keyboard, I apologize for what happens when I fail.

10-15-2002, 09:25 PM	#3
Tobiasly hot Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Jeffersonville, IN (near Louisville) Posts: 892	This is my new dog, Aloysius. Or just Al for short. I wish I could say I bought him to thumb my nose at some Iranian cleric, but that's not the case. Although that guy is correct about them being unclean. Al didn't much like being in his kennel while we were gone, so the next day we decided to shut him in the bathroom, thinking he'd appreciate a little more wiggle room. (We're working on a fence in the backyard, but it's not finished yet). I duct-taped cardboard over the inside of the door, and laid down newspaper over the entire floor. When I came home, I found that he had ripped the cardboard off the door, tore up all the newspapers, crapped on the floor, and in his ensuing frenzied attempts to get out, spread shit into every corner, nook, and cranny imaginable. There were little brown paw prints all over the wall. I wish I had taken a picture.

10-16-2002, 09:03 AM	#5
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	That boy is trouble. You can see it in his eyes. He's going to eat your headphones.

10-16-2002, 12:17 PM	#7
warch lurkin old school Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Minnesota Posts: 2,796	Looks like Al has demonstrated his "dominance" over that frightened wide-eyed penquin.

10-16-2002, 11:26 PM	#9
dave Guest Posts: n/a	BEEG AMAYDEEKAN PENIS!

10-17-2002, 12:02 AM	#10
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	You fooled me! Are you considering any obedience? Puppy kindergarten is hilarious.

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)