Im not really sure what to do (bdsm)

bella-lunagirl · 01-07-2009, 07:17 PM

Well the thing is, I think Im a sub. A 'life style' sub. And I had tried subbing for a Dom (my very happy ex) but It felt weird to me because we were really close friends, and He was over a thousand miles away.

Im not really into a LOT of pain (i like the idea of being spanked and flogged and stuff) and Im not really into public humiliation.. I really just like being dommed, told what to do and being controlled in the privacy of closed doors.

The thing is, Im pretty young and worried that I 'll be abused past 'play' and I dont want that to happen. That, and Im in a really small town and I highly doubt there is anybody in the scene here.

Suggestions?

Beestie · 01-07-2009, 09:28 PM

I think you need some advice from like-minded individuals who, I imagine, probably convene in a forum dedicated the the topic you are asking about.

SteveDallas · 01-07-2009, 09:57 PM

Maybe she was making some kind of cellar = dungeon association.

Or maybe she determined that reading the posts here was painful, if not an actual form of torture.

monster · 01-07-2009, 09:59 PM

or, maybe she saw that a similar thread started by Treasaenuk had lead to some helpful responses....

Lighten up, guys, welcome the noob ...

hi, bella

xoxoxoBruce · 01-07-2009, 10:01 PM

Beat me to it, I think probably Treasenuak's posts led her here.

Cicero · 01-07-2009, 11:36 PM

AAAhh, if you are too young just don't do it.

Signed,
Mom

DanaC · 01-08-2009, 03:22 AM

I would suggest you seek out one of the more respected and trusted scene sites online. Trease may be able to advise you on that. They may be able to hook you up with someone who wants to play at the same level you do in a safe setting.

How young is young? ( I don't mean tell me your age, just roughly) Depending on your age I'd be cautious. However fun and light and based on thrills and giggles; however dark and beautiful the fantasy, this stuff draws on very basic and deep parts of the psyche, and it isn't always a one way road. It helps if you are sure of yourself, psychosexually. Of course, how does one become sure of oneself if one doesn't experiment? *smiles*

That you're here posting and recognising potential areas of trouble, suggests you already have a healthy degree of caution. Good luck with it. And welcome to the Cellar

Sundae · 01-08-2009, 07:03 AM

What she said.

And especially welcome. You might have chanced upon us because of other posters/ topics, but if you have other questions - especially if they're interesting - you'll find them satisfied here

SteveDallas · 01-08-2009, 08:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster

Lighten up, guys

Most days that's as light as it gets for me.

But I'm always happy to see newbies join the party.

Shawnee123 · 01-08-2009, 08:35 AM

Welcome bella. You've been officially clone-threaded.

Flint · 01-08-2009, 09:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beestie

I think you need some advice from like-minded individuals who, I imagine, probably convene in a forum dedicated the the topic you are asking about.

Haven't you heard? This is that forum.
I'm certain that this board showed up in a Google search for...whatever. If we weren't talking about this stuff, she wouldn't be here.

Shawnee123 · 01-08-2009, 10:54 AM

Tis true, when I got here I had googled "shithead" and it sent me straight to a Flint post.

Beestie · 01-08-2009, 11:28 AM

To be clear, I wasn't trying to be unkind or unwelcoming to Bella-Lunagirl in any way.

I really do think that she should seek out forums frequented by and dedicated to the lifestyle she is curious about. The Cellar braintrust is indeed collectively formidable but I'm only aware of one lifestyle sub here and recall that she is also seeking clarity.

My point, therefore, is that we can discuss it all day long but if BG is seeking guidance about whether or not to make a lifestyle change she is advised that better, more experienced guidance is probably available elsewhere.

I think the word "Cellar" may be directing some folks in this direction who understand the word in a different context.

DanaC · 01-08-2009, 02:26 PM

For all we know she might have been lurking for a while. Also, sometimes it's hard to sift through the stuff online and know which ones are 'good' and which ones less so. Best way to find a good forum for stuff like that? Word of mouth. We have some of those mouths. As a starting point, posting in a multi-purpose forum in which others have also discussed BDSM and subbing is probably a good way to start imo.

Flint · 01-08-2009, 02:39 PM

Should we tell her about the special thing that I do?

01-07-2009, 07:17 PM	#1
bella-lunagirl Kinda New Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 2	Im not really sure what to do (bdsm) Well the thing is, I think Im a sub. A 'life style' sub. And I had tried subbing for a Dom (my very happy ex) but It felt weird to me because we were really close friends, and He was over a thousand miles away. Im not really into a LOT of pain (i like the idea of being spanked and flogged and stuff) and Im not really into public humiliation.. I really just like being dommed, told what to do and being controlled in the privacy of closed doors. The thing is, Im pretty young and worried that I 'll be abused past 'play' and I dont want that to happen. That, and Im in a really small town and I highly doubt there is anybody in the scene here. Suggestions?

01-07-2009, 09:28 PM	#2
Beestie -◊\|≡·∙■·∙≡\|◊- Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Parts unknown. Posts: 4,081	I think you need some advice from like-minded individuals who, I imagine, probably convene in a forum dedicated the the topic you are asking about. __________________ ♠ ♥ ♣ ♦

01-07-2009, 09:59 PM	#4
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	or, maybe she saw that a similar thread started by Treasaenuk had lead to some helpful responses.... Lighten up, guys, welcome the noob ... hi, bella __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

01-07-2009, 10:01 PM	#5
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Beat me to it, I think probably Treasenuak's posts led her here. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

01-07-2009, 11:36 PM	#6
Cicero Looking forward to open mic night. Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: New Mexico Posts: 5,148	AAAhh, if you are too young just don't do it. Signed, Mom __________________ Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.- Carl Jung

01-07-2009, 09:57 PM	#3
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	Maybe she was making some kind of cellar = dungeon association. Or maybe she determined that reading the posts here was painful, if not an actual form of torture.

01-08-2009, 03:22 AM	#7
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	I would suggest you seek out one of the more respected and trusted scene sites online. Trease may be able to advise you on that. They may be able to hook you up with someone who wants to play at the same level you do in a safe setting. How young is young? ( I don't mean tell me your age, just roughly) Depending on your age I'd be cautious. However fun and light and based on thrills and giggles; however dark and beautiful the fantasy, this stuff draws on very basic and deep parts of the psyche, and it isn't always a one way road. It helps if you are sure of yourself, psychosexually. Of course, how does one become sure of oneself if one doesn't experiment? smiles That you're here posting and recognising potential areas of trouble, suggests you already have a healthy degree of caution. Good luck with it. And welcome to the Cellar

01-08-2009, 07:03 AM	#8
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	What she said. And especially welcome. You might have chanced upon us because of other posters/ topics, but if you have other questions - especially if they're interesting - you'll find them satisfied here

01-08-2009, 08:35 AM	#10
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Im not really sure what to do (bosom) Welcome bella. You've been officially clone-threaded. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

01-08-2009, 10:54 AM	#12
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Tis true, when I got here I had googled "shithead" and it sent me straight to a Flint post. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

01-08-2009, 11:28 AM	#13
Beestie -◊\|≡·∙■·∙≡\|◊- Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Parts unknown. Posts: 4,081	To be clear, I wasn't trying to be unkind or unwelcoming to Bella-Lunagirl in any way. I really do think that she should seek out forums frequented by and dedicated to the lifestyle she is curious about. The Cellar braintrust is indeed collectively formidable but I'm only aware of one lifestyle sub here and recall that she is also seeking clarity. My point, therefore, is that we can discuss it all day long but if BG is seeking guidance about whether or not to make a lifestyle change she is advised that better, more experienced guidance is probably available elsewhere. I think the word "Cellar" may be directing some folks in this direction who understand the word in a different context. __________________ ♠ ♥ ♣ ♦

01-08-2009, 02:26 PM	#14
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	For all we know she might have been lurking for a while. Also, sometimes it's hard to sift through the stuff online and know which ones are 'good' and which ones less so. Best way to find a good forum for stuff like that? Word of mouth. We have some of those mouths. As a starting point, posting in a multi-purpose forum in which others have also discussed BDSM and subbing is probably a good way to start imo.

01-08-2009, 02:39 PM	#15
Flint Snowflake Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Dystopia Posts: 13,136	Should we tell her about the special thing that I do? __________________ **************** There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio**

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