Courting and Sex Advice

xoxoxoBruce · 11-23-2016, 12:36 PM

Harpers brings us advice from the 14th century...

Quote:

Take equal parts of carrot seed, arugula seed, autumn crocus, and cottonseed kernels, and knead them together in elecampane water or arugula water. A suppository can be made out of that, and it will raise a mighty erection.

Take one dirham’s worth of the scorched skin of a jackal, the scorched hooves of a goat, the scorched hoof of a donkey, scorched thorn apple, a scorched sea crab, scorched polypody, and Persian thyme, and grind them all to a fine powder. Knead it in ben-tree oil and let it refine. Then the woman may administer it as a suppository with the weight of two carob grains. This will tighten the vagina so that the woman becomes like a virgin.

Take some elephant urine and give it to the woman to drink without her knowing what it is. Then have sexual intercourse with her. With God’s permission, she will become pregnant.

Take the head of a black crow and scoop out its brain. In place of the brain, put some dirt taken from the spot where the woman whom you seek sits, and also a little detritus from the bath, along with seven grains of barley. Bury the crow’s head in the ground, in a moist place. Once the barley grows to the height of four fingers, take some of it and rub it on your hand, wipe it on your face and forearms, and then approach the woman without speaking to her. She will chase after you and will not be able to live without you.

Gravdigr · 11-23-2016, 01:12 PM

Ya gotta know that all that is BS. If it wasn't, all those animals and plants would be extinct by now.

Flint · 11-23-2016, 01:27 PM

Quote:

Take equal parts of carrot seed, arugula seed, autumn crocus, and cottonseed kernels, and knead them together in elecampane water or arugula water. A suppository can be made out of that, and it will raise a mighty erection.

On an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, an ex-porn star played by Bob Odenkirk suggested that Tabasco(®) on your finger, up the arse would have the same effect.

Gravdigr · 11-24-2016, 04:12 PM

Tabasco in/on the chili ring...

I don't know about a mighty erection, but, I'll bet it raises your voice three-five octaves.

footfootfoot · 11-24-2016, 05:10 PM

...
And it burns, burns, burns
The ring of fire, the ring of fire...

BigV · 11-24-2016, 06:19 PM

Bonus,

It feels so, so, good when you stop.

12-16-2016, 12:31 PM

Interesting ingredients for these recipes

some of them are disgusting such as the crow brain part

11-23-2016, 01:12 PM	#2
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Ya gotta know that all that is BS. If it wasn't, all those animals and plants would be extinct by now. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

11-24-2016, 04:12 PM	#4
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Tabasco in/on the chili ring... I don't know about a mighty erection, but, I'll bet it raises your voice three-five octaves. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

11-24-2016, 05:10 PM	#5
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	... And it burns, burns, burns The ring of fire, the ring of fire... __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

11-24-2016, 06:19 PM	#6
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	Bonus, It feels so, so, good when you stop. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

12-16-2016, 12:31 PM	#7
LovelyAngelsX Guest Posts: n/a	Interesting ingredients for these recipes some of them are disgusting such as the crow brain part

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