Banana Guard

Lady Sidhe · 05-26-2004, 10:24 PM

Why do I have the sinking feeling that this item is probably not going to be used for the purpose for which it was made?

Banana Guard

depmats · 05-27-2004, 01:15 AM

Do they have a version of this that works like a "shower massager"?

Undertoad · 05-27-2004, 06:10 AM

What else could it be used for?

Catwoman · 05-27-2004, 07:42 AM

The Banana Guard was specially designed to fit the vast majority of bananas. Its other features include multiple small perforations to facilitate ventilation thereby preventing premature ripening and a sturdy locking mechanism to keep the Banana Guard closed.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Look out Durex.

Torrere · 05-28-2004, 07:43 PM

Do you mean, for the purpose for which it was made or for the purpose for which it is nominally advertised?

"Protect your banana!"

limey · 05-29-2004, 12:04 PM

For years now I have taken my lunchtime banana to work wrapped in a fruit-flavour condom. Yes, it gets squashed at the bottom of my bag, but you just have to nibble off the end of the wrapper and you've got a lovely banana/strawberry (or whatever flavour condom you've used) smoothie to drink of a lunchtime, in an easy to use, no-mess package!

jaguar · 05-29-2004, 12:13 PM

spose a bit of lube is good for the digestive system.

This whole threads reminds of a guy called (and i swear I'm not making this up) called Reverand Canaan Banana, dodgy bastard involved for a fair while with various things in Zimbabwe. At any rate (to paraphrase the most excellent World's Most Dangerous Places, the wonderful tome it is) his (Jan Banana) wife's bodyguard shot a man who called him banana's wife, in a bid to redeem himself he told her he had assulted him and other staff members with a stiff banana of his own and he was arrested on sodomy charges.

To the delight of editors everywhere he then skipped bail, leading to wonderful headlines like 'banana splits', 'we have no banana', 'mugbe slips on banana', 'banana denies buggary', 'banana forced officer to have sex' and 'fruitless search for banana'.

Only good thing to come out of zimbabwe for a long time.

xoxoxoBruce · 05-29-2004, 12:22 PM

Limey, that was sick, disgusting and perverted. I loved it.

limey · 05-29-2004, 12:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by xoxoxoBruce
Limey, that was sick, disgusting and perverted. I loved it.

Why, thank you, Bruce!

05-26-2004, 10:24 PM	#1
Lady Sidhe That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.... Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Hammond, La. Posts: 978	Banana Guard Why do I have the sinking feeling that this item is probably not going to be used for the purpose for which it was made? Banana Guard __________________ My free will...I never leave home without it. --House Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be. -Rita Rudner

05-27-2004, 07:42 AM	#4
Catwoman stalking a Tom Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: on the edge of the english channel Posts: 1,000	The Banana Guard was specially designed to fit the vast majority of bananas. Its other features include multiple small perforations to facilitate ventilation thereby preventing premature ripening and a sturdy locking mechanism to keep the Banana Guard closed. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Look out Durex. __________________ I've decided I'm not going to have a signature anymore.

05-29-2004, 12:04 PM	#6
limey Encroaching on your decrees Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland Posts: 7,016	For years now I have taken my lunchtime banana to work wrapped in a fruit-flavour condom. Yes, it gets squashed at the bottom of my bag, but you just have to nibble off the end of the wrapper and you've got a lovely banana/strawberry (or whatever flavour condom you've used) smoothie to drink of a lunchtime, in an easy to use, no-mess package! __________________ Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of

05-29-2004, 12:13 PM	#7
jaguar whig Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 5,075	spose a bit of lube is good for the digestive system. This whole threads reminds of a guy called (and i swear I'm not making this up) called Reverand Canaan Banana, dodgy bastard involved for a fair while with various things in Zimbabwe. At any rate (to paraphrase the most excellent World's Most Dangerous Places, the wonderful tome it is) his (Jan Banana) wife's bodyguard shot a man who called him banana's wife, in a bid to redeem himself he told her he had assulted him and other staff members with a stiff banana of his own and he was arrested on sodomy charges. To the delight of editors everywhere he then skipped bail, leading to wonderful headlines like 'banana splits', 'we have no banana', 'mugbe slips on banana', 'banana denies buggary', 'banana forced officer to have sex' and 'fruitless search for banana'. Only good thing to come out of zimbabwe for a long time. __________________ Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. - Twain

05-29-2004, 12:22 PM	#8
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Limey, that was sick, disgusting and perverted. I loved it. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

05-27-2004, 01:15 AM	#2
depmats Major Inhabitant Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 124	Do they have a version of this that works like a "shower massager"?

05-27-2004, 06:10 AM	#3
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	What else could it be used for?

05-28-2004, 07:43 PM	#5
Torrere a real smartass Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Kirkland, WA Posts: 1,121	Do you mean, for the purpose for which it was made or for the purpose for which it is nominally advertised? "Protect your banana!"

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