How Bat-Man spends a typical Bat-Day

Nothing But Net · 06-30-2005, 08:57 AM

First, he gets up from the Bat-Bed and heads straight for the Bat-Room. He prefers a Bat-Shower over a Bat-Bath because it is easier to Bat-Shave. If he nicks his Bat-Face, he may occasionally be heard to say "Bat-Shit!". Then he calls Alfred to come up and give him a Bat-Rub. If he feels like a bit of Bat-Exercise, he my take a brisk Bat-Walk, or he may go to his personal Bat-Cage for some Bat-Ting practice with his custom-made Bat-Bat.

By this time Robin is up, so he goes and checks his room for an egg. Usually he never finds one, so he tells Robin to go to the fabric store to pick up some Bat-Ting for the Bat-Quilt Aunt Harriet is making, then pick up Bat-Girl, as she is coming over for a Bat-Lunch.

He's hoping she's in a Bat-Mood today, because he hasn't had any Bat-Sex in a while. It turns out she's having her Bat-Period, and it's a messy one. So they decide to go for a Bat-Drive. But the Bat-Mobile is low on fuel, and the Bat-Plutonium station is closed today, so they have to take the Bat-Cycle.

While cruising throught the Bat-Woods, the Bat-Vibrations of the Bat-Engine start turning Bat-Girl on, so she asks Bat-Man to pull off on a Bat-Road. He does, and then looks for the Bat-Condoms in his Utility Belt, but "Curses", that's the only thing he doesn't have in there. He tries to placate Bat-Girl be telling her "Hey, I'm a Bat. I suck blood, so if I had Bat-HIV I would know it by now". But Bat-Girl is having none of this, so they tear off bat home, and Bat-Man is getting a serious case of Bat-Blue-Balls.

Tune in later, same Bat-Thread, same Bat-Cellar.

plthijinx · 06-30-2005, 04:46 PM

dude. take a vacation. go to Europe or something.

SteveDallas · 06-30-2005, 05:43 PM

mmmmm Bat-girl

Trilby · 06-30-2005, 05:54 PM

I like it. It's waaaaaay better than the latest artistic offering known as ***the pain of life***

NBN doesn't hack, either. And he haikus. He's soooooo cool!

Troubleshooter · 06-30-2005, 05:57 PM

...Robin can take care of it.

From Fazed...

plthijinx · 06-30-2005, 08:35 PM

love it TS! na, on my comment above, i'm just jerkin' his chain. hell, i gotta give him crap 'cuz i'm not going to have to listen to his stereo blasting away at 3 a.m. on a school night for a week to 10 days! unfortunately the way my house is laid out, my master bedroom is about 40 feet from his living room.....

edit: errr 19 days! woohoo!

Nothing But Net · 07-02-2005, 02:48 AM

When they arrive back at the Bat-Cave, Alfred informs Bat-Man that he must return to stately Wayne Manor at once because Sandra Day O'Connor is waiting to see him.

"Sounds serious", says Bat-Man.

"Indeed, Sir. She says the fate of the entire nation is at stake!"

"Alfred, is she expecting to see Bruce Wayne, or Bat-Man?"

"That's the problem, Sir. She wants to meet with you both, at the same time!"

Trilby · 07-02-2005, 08:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nothing But Net

"That's the problem, Sir. She wants to meet with you both, at the same time!"

The Classic Conundrum. I'm loving this story, NBN! More! More!

06-30-2005, 08:57 AM	#1
Nothing But Net Professor Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Spring, Texas Posts: 1,481	How Bat-Man spends a typical Bat-Day First, he gets up from the Bat-Bed and heads straight for the Bat-Room. He prefers a Bat-Shower over a Bat-Bath because it is easier to Bat-Shave. If he nicks his Bat-Face, he may occasionally be heard to say "Bat-Shit!". Then he calls Alfred to come up and give him a Bat-Rub. If he feels like a bit of Bat-Exercise, he my take a brisk Bat-Walk, or he may go to his personal Bat-Cage for some Bat-Ting practice with his custom-made Bat-Bat. By this time Robin is up, so he goes and checks his room for an egg. Usually he never finds one, so he tells Robin to go to the fabric store to pick up some Bat-Ting for the Bat-Quilt Aunt Harriet is making, then pick up Bat-Girl, as she is coming over for a Bat-Lunch. He's hoping she's in a Bat-Mood today, because he hasn't had any Bat-Sex in a while. It turns out she's having her Bat-Period, and it's a messy one. So they decide to go for a Bat-Drive. But the Bat-Mobile is low on fuel, and the Bat-Plutonium station is closed today, so they have to take the Bat-Cycle. While cruising throught the Bat-Woods, the Bat-Vibrations of the Bat-Engine start turning Bat-Girl on, so she asks Bat-Man to pull off on a Bat-Road. He does, and then looks for the Bat-Condoms in his Utility Belt, but <i>"Curses"</i>, that's the only thing he doesn't have in there. He tries to placate Bat-Girl be telling her "Hey, I'm a Bat. I suck blood, so if I had Bat-HIV I would know it by now". But Bat-Girl is having none of this, so they tear off bat home, and Bat-Man is getting a serious case of Bat-Blue-Balls. Tune in later, same Bat-Thread, same Bat-Cellar. Last edited by Nothing But Net; 06-30-2005 at 09:17 AM.

06-30-2005, 04:46 PM	#2
plthijinx Master Dwellar Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 4,197	dude. take a vacation. go to Europe or something. __________________ For your dreams to come true, you must first have a dream.

06-30-2005, 05:54 PM	#4
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	I like it. It's waaaaaay better than the latest artistic offering known as *the pain of life* NBN doesn't hack, either. And he haikus. He's soooooo cool! __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

06-30-2005, 05:57 PM	#5
Troubleshooter The urban Jane Goodall Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Florida Posts: 3,012	Don't worry... ...Robin can take care of it. From Fazed... Attached Images __________________ I have gained this from philosophy: that I do without being commanded what others do only from fear of the law. - Aristotle

06-30-2005, 08:35 PM	#6
plthijinx Master Dwellar Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 4,197	love it TS! na, on my comment above, i'm just jerkin' his chain. hell, i gotta give him crap 'cuz i'm not going to have to listen to his stereo blasting away at 3 a.m. on a school night for a week to 10 days! unfortunately the way my house is laid out, my master bedroom is about 40 feet from his living room..... edit: errr 19 days! woohoo! __________________ For your dreams to come true, you must first have a dream. Last edited by plthijinx; 06-30-2005 at 09:08 PM.

06-30-2005, 05:43 PM	#3
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	mmmmm Bat-girl

07-02-2005, 02:48 AM	#7
Nothing But Net Professor Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Spring, Texas Posts: 1,481	When they arrive back at the Bat-Cave, Alfred informs Bat-Man that he must return to stately Wayne Manor at once because Sandra Day O'Connor is waiting to see him. "Sounds serious", says Bat-Man. "Indeed, Sir. She says the fate of the entire nation is at stake!" "Alfred, is she expecting to see Bruce Wayne, or Bat-Man?" "That's the problem, Sir. She wants to meet with you both, <i>at the same time!</i>" Last edited by Nothing But Net; 07-02-2005 at 03:42 AM.

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