Boys or Girls?

itsjulie · 09-08-2005, 04:53 PM

Which do you think is harder to raise?

I have 3 teenagers, well almost....12, 13 and 16. Two oldest are boys. My middle child makes me crazy. I have to CONSTANTLY stay on his ass - his friends mom told me that she caught her son sneaking out in the middle of the night (I also did that at 14) which is my sons good friend....

Just curious if anyone thinks either sex is harder to raise - besides the obvious worries....

seakdivers · 09-08-2005, 06:26 PM

I don't know which is harder. I have two girls - one is 15 (16 in Oct), and the other is 13, and I have a 6 year old boy.
The oldest one fills me with fear every time she walks out the door - I was 16 when I got pregnant with her, so I've been beating it into her head that boys are icky, and I can only hope that she's listening!

My 13 year old makes me crazy. She is soooooooooooo intense.
My son is pretty laid back, and I don't know if that's because he's a boy, or if it's his age. He does have his moments though.......every single day......

So in summary, I am not so sure if it's a boy/ girl thing, or if it's a parenting thing.

Brett's Honey · 09-08-2005, 06:46 PM

My Mom insists that girls are harder. I don't know quite how to take that since I was the only girl with three brothers.....

itsjulie · 09-08-2005, 08:26 PM

I normally hear that girls are harder - but WOW, does my son make me nuts....I also genderize quite a bit, which I said I would never do, but nowadays, you really have to! My daughter is not allowed to do half the things my son was allowed to do at her age!

BigV · 09-09-2005, 11:03 AM

*ahem*

Sorry to cut into your ladies only discussion (Hello?! Dads?)...

We have two boys with a girl in the middle. I don't think there's a difference...let me rephrase that. The obvious and large differences we have in the amount and kind of effort it takes to parent each of them can not really be traced to a gender based reason. I think it is *much* more a factor of the child's temperment and birth order. I do believe there's a strong gender factor having to do with the different way the parent of the opposite sex relates to the child. In general terms, I think the parent of the opposite sex eventually has an advantage with the child, especially in the late teen years. That is the time of separation for the kid, and the turmoil of becoming more like the same sex parent (as a young adult man or young adult woman) while simultaneously wanting to differentiate themselves from their parents in general is considerable. I think this is most true for sons and dads.

I see struggles I had with our eldest son that my wife did not. My wife has had some of those struggles with our daughter, while I got a pass. But I think this gender related aspect of parenting is small potatoes compared to the other two reasons above.

Also consider for families that have kids that are widely separated in age, that the young one trailing along at the end sees parents that are very different from the same people that were parents of the eldest child. These differences can sometimes be pretty big. The most obvious is the increase in experience in parenting. While every kid comes up as a rookie, sometimes they get veteran parents. Economic factors often favor the younger children too, as the parents become more affluent. Or, if there has been tragedy in the family the parenting dynamic change dramatically. But these are hardly gender issues.

I do think there's a tendency to worry about the girls more, even though I know the chances that bad things are equally likely to happen to girls or boys.

One more thing--as little ones, they're both about the same trouble to take care of but the little girls are much more fun to decorate!

SteveDallas · 09-09-2005, 12:50 PM

I personally think individual variances outweight gender differences, but what do I know? Our son is much more, shall we say, "adventurous." To the point that we installed an additional security chain lock 6 ft up because we were afraid of him going out by himself. When he was 3 and we got out of the car, he would unlock one door of the car when we weren't looking so he could come back and play in the car later. (When I found him in a car that I knew I had locked, I started keeping a closer eye on him. He was sooooo mad!)

Our daughter causes her fair share of headaches, but generally not of a nature such that we question the probability of her physical survival.

It must be said that personality-wise my daughter and I are alike in many ways. In some respects this makes her easier to understand; in others, it just leads to increased friction.

Trilby · 09-09-2005, 02:34 PM

Boyz Rule!

Cyclefrance · 09-11-2005, 06:05 PM

I don't think there can be a general rule. We just have the two boys (now men aged 23 and 27) and it was great bringing them up. Maybe we were lucky in that respect, maybe it's down to the relationship and environment that you build and provide: giving clear guidelines as to what's right and what's wrong, teaching to respect another's property and rights, providing stability, being approachable, knowing when to pull back on advice and criticism and when to give it, practising what you preach, taking an even handed approach and so on, and so on. Not sure what would have happened with girls, hopefully the same. That said the two boys are totally different in their personalities but broadly speaking do share the same outlook on life. We certainly relate to each other now they are older, and enjoy their company without having to insist upon having it. We have friends who have mixes or just girls - in some cases the girls seem to be the easier to handle, in other cases it's the boys. Not knowing the backgrounds of the families or their family life it's difficult to know how much this has contributed to and influenced the way their children have developed.

undone · 09-15-2005, 05:41 PM

:p Girls rule

York · 10-09-2005, 02:04 AM

I dont know it yet, that ll all start in 13 weeks! Like previous people i also think that u can t just say that its harder on a boy or girl ...it all depends on how they grow up! The environment they live in..their intrests...the people arround them... I have a brother and two sisters...and i was the easiest to handle...my sis stopped working at 25 and from there-on it all went downhill...by her cause, not by the way she grew up! I hope we will raise ou daughter like we wer raised...with respect and love!! And the rest is up to her!

09-08-2005, 04:53 PM	#1
itsjulie Vice-President of Resentment Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Connecticut Posts: 190	Boys or Girls? Which do you think is harder to raise? I have 3 teenagers, well almost....12, 13 and 16. Two oldest are boys. My middle child makes me crazy. I have to CONSTANTLY stay on his ass - his friends mom told me that she caught her son sneaking out in the middle of the night (I also did that at 14) which is my sons good friend.... Just curious if anyone thinks either sex is harder to raise - besides the obvious worries.... __________________ I like to know stuff!

09-08-2005, 08:26 PM	#4
itsjulie Vice-President of Resentment Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Connecticut Posts: 190	I normally hear that girls are harder - but WOW, does my son make me nuts....I also genderize quite a bit, which I said I would never do, but nowadays, you really have to! My daughter is not allowed to do half the things my son was allowed to do at her age! __________________ I like to know stuff!

09-09-2005, 11:03 AM	#5
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	ahem Sorry to cut into your ladies only discussion (Hello?! Dads?)... We have two boys with a girl in the middle. I don't think there's a difference...let me rephrase that. The obvious and large differences we have in the amount and kind of effort it takes to parent each of them can not really be traced to a gender based reason. I think it is much more a factor of the child's temperment and birth order. I do believe there's a strong gender factor having to do with the different way the parent of the opposite sex relates to the child. In general terms, I think the parent of the opposite sex eventually has an advantage with the child, especially in the late teen years. That is the time of separation for the kid, and the turmoil of becoming more like the same sex parent (as a young adult man or young adult woman) while simultaneously wanting to differentiate themselves from their parents in general is considerable. I think this is most true for sons and dads. I see struggles I had with our eldest son that my wife did not. My wife has had some of those struggles with our daughter, while I got a pass. But I think this gender related aspect of parenting is small potatoes compared to the other two reasons above. Also consider for families that have kids that are widely separated in age, that the young one trailing along at the end sees parents that are very different from the same people that were parents of the eldest child. These differences can sometimes be pretty big. The most obvious is the increase in experience in parenting. While every kid comes up as a rookie, sometimes they get veteran parents. Economic factors often favor the younger children too, as the parents become more affluent. Or, if there has been tragedy in the family the parenting dynamic change dramatically. But these are hardly gender issues. I do think there's a tendency to worry about the girls more, even though I know the chances that bad things are equally likely to happen to girls or boys. One more thing--as little ones, they're both about the same trouble to take care of but the little girls are much more fun to decorate! __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

09-09-2005, 02:34 PM	#7
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	Boyz Rule! __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

09-11-2005, 06:05 PM	#8
Cyclefrance Pump my ride! Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Deep countryside of Surrey , England Posts: 1,890	I don't think there can be a general rule. We just have the two boys (now men aged 23 and 27) and it was great bringing them up. Maybe we were lucky in that respect, maybe it's down to the relationship and environment that you build and provide: giving clear guidelines as to what's right and what's wrong, teaching to respect another's property and rights, providing stability, being approachable, knowing when to pull back on advice and criticism and when to give it, practising what you preach, taking an even handed approach and so on, and so on. Not sure what would have happened with girls, hopefully the same. That said the two boys are totally different in their personalities but broadly speaking do share the same outlook on life. We certainly relate to each other now they are older, and enjoy their company without having to insist upon having it. We have friends who have mixes or just girls - in some cases the girls seem to be the easier to handle, in other cases it's the boys. Not knowing the backgrounds of the families or their family life it's difficult to know how much this has contributed to and influenced the way their children have developed. __________________ Always sufficient hills - never sufficient gears

09-08-2005, 06:26 PM	#2
seakdivers Icy Queen Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Southeast Alaska Posts: 700	I don't know which is harder. I have two girls - one is 15 (16 in Oct), and the other is 13, and I have a 6 year old boy. The oldest one fills me with fear every time she walks out the door - I was 16 when I got pregnant with her, so I've been beating it into her head that boys are icky, and I can only hope that she's listening! My 13 year old makes me crazy. She is soooooooooooo intense. My son is pretty laid back, and I don't know if that's because he's a boy, or if it's his age. He does have his moments though.......every single day...... So in summary, I am not so sure if it's a boy/ girl thing, or if it's a parenting thing.

09-08-2005, 06:46 PM	#3
Brett's Honey whatever Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 308	My Mom insists that girls are harder. I don't know quite how to take that since I was the only girl with three brothers.....

09-09-2005, 12:50 PM	#6
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	I personally think individual variances outweight gender differences, but what do I know? Our son is much more, shall we say, "adventurous." To the point that we installed an additional security chain lock 6 ft up because we were afraid of him going out by himself. When he was 3 and we got out of the car, he would unlock one door of the car when we weren't looking so he could come back and play in the car later. (When I found him in a car that I knew I had locked, I started keeping a closer eye on him. He was sooooo mad!) Our daughter causes her fair share of headaches, but generally not of a nature such that we question the probability of her physical survival. It must be said that personality-wise my daughter and I are alike in many ways. In some respects this makes her easier to understand; in others, it just leads to increased friction.

09-15-2005, 05:41 PM	#9
undone work in progess Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 100	:p Girls rule __________________ If ignorance is bliss...Why aren't more people happy?

10-09-2005, 02:04 AM	#10
York Operations Operative Join Date: May 2004 Location: Tienen , Belgium Posts: 537	I dont know it yet, that ll all start in 13 weeks! Like previous people i also think that u can t just say that its harder on a boy or girl ...it all depends on how they grow up! The environment they live in..their intrests...the people arround them... I have a brother and two sisters...and i was the easiest to handle...my sis stopped working at 25 and from there-on it all went downhill...by her cause, not by the way she grew up! I hope we will raise ou daughter like we wer raised...with respect and love!! And the rest is up to her!

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