And another thing that annoys me . . .

SteveDallas · 09-19-2005, 10:29 AM

You call in for so-called "customer service." You are invited to press 1 for sales, 2 for hardware problems, etc. etc. etc. You make your selection. You are then asked to enter some information--your account number, your phone number, the serial number of your computer, etc.

Now, in principle, this is a great idea. In a well-run call center this information will be used so that when an operator takes your call, the computer will already be displaying all your information so that they can say, "Hello, Mr. Dallas, I understand you're having trouble with your network-enabled meat slicing attachment. How can I help you?"

But no. 999 times out of 1,000, in my experience at least, you end up telling the operator all the information you just entered in.

wolf · 09-19-2005, 10:31 AM

You're not "telling" it. You're "confirming" it ...

Or perhaps it takes data longer than voice to get to Bumblefuckistan.

SteveDallas · 09-19-2005, 10:34 AM

Fuck that. If I'm "confirming" it why do I always have to spell my name when they scew it up?

Cyclefrance · 09-19-2005, 10:57 AM

I have a feeling your calls are toll-free. You'd get even madder over here as we have to pay a premium charge call with the numbers that some companies use.

Only just this weekend I had a message on my cell phone saying to call NatWest Bank Card Services ref a query on a payment I made, then went thorough four separate menus (including the details one you mentioned) before I got to speak to someone - took about five minutes, all of which I was paying for.

Turns out the merchant has forgotten to insert his security code. I then have to contact the merchant as Card Services won't as it's my transaction and the merchant might not be the merchant as they have no security check to confirm that he is who he says he is. Won't buy there again!

Clodfobble · 09-19-2005, 04:39 PM

A trick worth trying, most phone menu setups have a "0 for the operator" option even if they don't offer it to you until three or four steps in. I always hit 0 very first thing, and most of the time I get a real person right away.

lumberjim · 09-19-2005, 04:59 PM

i always yell "cock!" just in case they're listening.

Iggy · 09-19-2005, 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf

Bumblefuckistan.

I like that... it just seems to fit.

BigV · 09-19-2005, 06:13 PM

AAAARRRGGGHHHHHHH!

Ok, Pirate-frustration vented.

I called Linksys today. I am a big fan of their products and their company. Today's debacle with the tech support really frustrated me. I called the toll free number, waded through the phone tree, because, naturally, the device I am having trouble with isn't one of the top troublemakers, so I have to wait for the end of the list and choose "7" for all other questions. That puts me at the bottom of the barrel, I'm sure.

Hold music....

....

....

You get the idea. About ten minutes later, which is like a day and half in tech years, I get connected to Deepankar, badge number omitted, cause I'm a nice guy.

As an aside, I've been doing this kind of work with computers and all their peripheral crapola for a really long time, and when I call tech support, I'm not being a nuisance, something's broken.

So when I get suggestions like: "Replace the cable with another one"--the cable on the device is SOLDERED INTO PLACE, it's not replaceable; or "Have you tried plugging it into a different wall outlet?"--The power light comes on, as I explained before, but the device doesn't send the power to the splitter unit, I get a little steamed.

So together we go down his check list. Yes I restarted it. Hold. Yes I double checked the cable. Hold please. No the light doesn't come on. Hold please. Thank you for holding. No I don't have my receipt. Hold please. We're at the end if his list and the beginning of mine. "Well, what I can do for you is replace the unit." Excellent. This is where we could have begun 20 minutes ago. Here's the case number. I write it down, and read it back to him, he says "perfect". It's not. "Go to this webaddress and fill in the form." I'm there, I say. "Well, don't fill in the form now, wait five or ten minutes for the system to process your RMA number." Two hours later, the system still doesn't recognize my RMA number.

Another call to tech support, this time I talked to Sualla, and she asks me the same. stupid. questions. in. the. same. stupid. way. I reach deep into my reserves of calm politeness and reply each time in hopes that I can get a valid number. Mooooooooooorrrrre hold music. Eventually, she claims that the number I have will work. And, magically, it does. It doesn't have to be this hard, folks. Human error all the way. Just enter the code like you promised you would.

Yaaarrrr!

Tonchi · 09-19-2005, 07:43 PM

This is such an exercise in futility because more than 80% of the people in call centers are nothing but "phone answerers". They are not techs and just barely speak English well enough to get hired. What they do while you are talking is to try to recognize key words you are using in your description of the problem, they do not comprehend what your conversation is leading at. At their station is a huge handbook with those key words listed, and they scrabble through the book until they find the word and then they READ TO YOU what the book says they should respond. That is why they have no solution, mostly repeat what the person before them said, and talk to you as if they had the IQ of a turnip. Nothing changes if you use the online chat feature on the customer service link, you will still get a moron who will punch buttons which load the same crap in the manual they all have.

The only hope you have is to call early in the morning (Eastern Time) because at that point the Americans might not be forwarding all calls to Lower Elbonia yet. With McAfee VirusScan I once went through 3 East Indians before I finally started screaming that if they did not connect me to a REAL supervisor immediately I was going to show them just how ugly it can get when you are not qualified for your job. I was then transferred to a manager with a lovely British accent who asked one question not even mentioned by the others, gave me the correct answer to my problem, everything was instantly solved, and the previous 1.5 hours on hold (800 number) and being transferred was the only cost. True, effective customer service ceased to exist years ago. All you can do is play phone roulette, keep hanging up or demanding to be transferred until you reach that one sterling employee who actually knows something about the product

BigV · 09-19-2005, 07:48 PM

I have been know to ask for and receive that <strike>sterling</strike> pieces o' eight employee's cell phone number/extension/email address, so when the plan of action was executed, I had a real human to call again. Without having to start over in the <strike>ninth pit of hell</strike> Davy jones locker.

They do exist. They have received copies of thank you letters sent to their supervisors. Thank god.

09-19-2005, 10:29 AM	#1
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	And another thing that annoys me . . . You call in for so-called "customer service." You are invited to press 1 for sales, 2 for hardware problems, etc. etc. etc. You make your selection. You are then asked to enter some information--your account number, your phone number, the serial number of your computer, etc. Now, in principle, this is a great idea. In a well-run call center this information will be used so that when an operator takes your call, the computer will already be displaying all your information so that they can say, "Hello, Mr. Dallas, I understand you're having trouble with your network-enabled meat slicing attachment. How can I help you?" But no. 999 times out of 1,000, in my experience at least, you end up telling the operator all the information you just entered in.

09-19-2005, 10:31 AM	#2
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	You're not "telling" it. You're "confirming" it ... Or perhaps it takes data longer than voice to get to Bumblefuckistan. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

09-19-2005, 10:57 AM	#4
Cyclefrance Pump my ride! Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Deep countryside of Surrey , England Posts: 1,890	I have a feeling your calls are toll-free. You'd get even madder over here as we have to pay a premium charge call with the numbers that some companies use. Only just this weekend I had a message on my cell phone saying to call NatWest Bank Card Services ref a query on a payment I made, then went thorough four separate menus (including the details one you mentioned) before I got to speak to someone - took about five minutes, all of which I was paying for. Turns out the merchant has forgotten to insert his security code. I then have to contact the merchant as Card Services won't as it's my transaction and the merchant might not be the merchant as they have no security check to confirm that he is who he says he is. Won't buy there again! __________________ Always sufficient hills - never sufficient gears

09-19-2005, 04:59 PM	#6
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	i always yell "cock!" just in case they're listening. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

09-19-2005, 06:13 PM	#8
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	AAAARRRGGGHHHHHHH! Ok, Pirate-frustration vented. I called Linksys today. I am a big fan of their products and their company. Today's debacle with the tech support really frustrated me. I called the toll free number, waded through the phone tree, because, naturally, the device I am having trouble with isn't one of the top troublemakers, so I have to wait for the end of the list and choose "7" for all other questions. That puts me at the bottom of the barrel, I'm sure. Hold music.... .... .... You get the idea. About ten minutes later, which is like a day and half in tech years, I get connected to Deepankar, badge number omitted, cause I'm a nice guy. As an aside, I've been doing this kind of work with computers and all their peripheral crapola for a really long time, and when I call tech support, I'm not being a nuisance, something's broken. So when I get suggestions like: "Replace the cable with another one"--the cable on the device is SOLDERED INTO PLACE, it's not replaceable; or "Have you tried plugging it into a different wall outlet?"--The power light comes on, as I explained before, but the device doesn't send the power to the splitter unit, I get a little steamed. So together we go down his check list. Yes I restarted it. Hold. Yes I double checked the cable. Hold please. No the light doesn't come on. Hold please. Thank you for holding. No I don't have my receipt. Hold please. We're at the end if his list and the beginning of mine. "Well, what I can do for you is replace the unit." Excellent. This is where we could have begun 20 minutes ago. Here's the case number. I write it down, and read it back to him, he says "perfect". It's not. "Go to this webaddress and fill in the form." I'm there, I say. "Well, don't fill in the form now, wait five or ten minutes for the system to process your RMA number." Two hours later, the system still doesn't recognize my RMA number. Another call to tech support, this time I talked to Sualla, and she asks me the same. stupid. questions. in. the. same. stupid. way. I reach deep into my reserves of calm politeness and reply each time in hopes that I can get a valid number. Mooooooooooorrrrre hold music. Eventually, she claims that the number I have will work. And, magically, it does. It doesn't have to be this hard, folks. Human error all the way. Just enter the code like you promised you would. Yaaarrrr! __________________ Be Just and Fear Not. Last edited by BigV; 09-20-2005 at 11:52 AM.

09-19-2005, 10:34 AM	#3
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	Fuck that. If I'm "confirming" it why do I always have to spell my name when they scew it up?

09-19-2005, 04:39 PM	#5
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	A trick worth trying, most phone menu setups have a "0 for the operator" option even if they don't offer it to you until three or four steps in. I always hit 0 very first thing, and most of the time I get a real person right away.

09-19-2005, 07:43 PM	#9
Tonchi Victim of gravity Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Hiding in plain sight Posts: 1,412	This is such an exercise in futility because more than 80% of the people in call centers are nothing but "phone answerers". They are not techs and just barely speak English well enough to get hired. What they do while you are talking is to try to recognize key words you are using in your description of the problem, they do not comprehend what your conversation is leading at. At their station is a huge handbook with those key words listed, and they scrabble through the book until they find the word and then they READ TO YOU what the book says they should respond. That is why they have no solution, mostly repeat what the person before them said, and talk to you as if they had the IQ of a turnip. Nothing changes if you use the online chat feature on the customer service link, you will still get a moron who will punch buttons which load the same crap in the manual they all have. The only hope you have is to call early in the morning (Eastern Time) because at that point the Americans might not be forwarding all calls to Lower Elbonia yet. With McAfee VirusScan I once went through 3 East Indians before I finally started screaming that if they did not connect me to a REAL supervisor immediately I was going to show them just how ugly it can get when you are not qualified for your job. I was then transferred to a manager with a lovely British accent who asked one question not even mentioned by the others, gave me the correct answer to my problem, everything was instantly solved, and the previous 1.5 hours on hold (800 number) and being transferred was the only cost. True, effective customer service ceased to exist years ago. All you can do is play phone roulette, keep hanging up or demanding to be transferred until you reach that one sterling employee who actually knows something about the product __________________ Everything you've ever heard about Fresno is true.

09-19-2005, 07:48 PM	#10
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	I have been know to ask for and receive that <strike>sterling</strike> pieces o' eight employee's cell phone number/extension/email address, so when the plan of action was executed, I had a real human to call again. Without having to start over in the <strike>ninth pit of hell</strike> Davy jones locker. They do exist. They have received copies of thank you letters sent to their supervisors. Thank god. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

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