Three cheers for Lookout123!

[footfootfoot]

Sneaky title, but I'm pretty sure he wouldn't fall for "hot, wet, tens." Or even 50s for that matter.

So, the good news is that my long held dream of sleeping with a soccer mom is about to come true. (I hope, that is if we can ever find time to be alone with out the kids and while we are still conscious) The inch starts soccer next Saturday and apart from banging the new soccer mom, I am completely unprepared. (That sounded crude, but oh well)

For example, I don't even know how many innings there are in a soccer game or if it's legal to steal a base on a foul tip. And even though I didn't mention that if I had to be another dwellar it would be lookout, I figured you all kind of knew that anyway so why come across like a fawning sycophant, right? I mean I reserve that for Brianna, Shawnee, and ok I'm gonna stop right there.

My buddy across the street was a ref for years and I could ask him, but Lookout seems to really know what is going on or else he wouldn't be accused of taking the players no one else wanted and bringing out their best performances. I mean stacking the deck, I meant stacking the deck. I want to change my answer.

So, dude, you gotta give me the cellar crash course in soccer so I don't come across like a total douche next Saturday. (I will settle for 27% douche as long as I can upgrade that to 11% douche by the following week and within 5 weeks having people say something to the effect of "Ya know when you first showed up we all thought you were pretty much a douche, but I guess we were wrong about you."

That would be cool. And I promise when I make my first $250,000 (which I am on target for by next year) I will call you up and invest it through you. (I would anyway, but you know...)

[monster]

here's my 2c:
1) shut up and let the coach coach.
2) don't groan loudly when the inchling misses the ball or lets a goal in.

[footfootfoot]

You don't know me, monster. I'm not all about getting in the coach's way, I just want to have a fucking clue what is going on, i.e. when to cheer and when to pull out my gatt and throw down with some other asshole parent.

someone find that thread I'm talking about.

[wolf]

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

when to pull out my gatt and throw down with some other asshole parent.

I can probably give you some pointers on that one.

I don't know diddly about soccer. Except for having a crush on Franz Beckenbauer in high school, but I don't think that will help you any.

[footfootfoot]

Originally Posted by wolf

I can probably give you some pointers on that one.

I don't know diddly about soccer. Except for having a crush on Franz Beckenbauer in high school, but I don't think that will help you any.

Sweet, I'll pm you when the need arises. re: Franz, as long as you never skinny dipped with Michelle Goodwin.

[monster]

sorry, didn't mean to offend, didn't mean to imply that you were, was just an overview of how to be a good soccer parent, was meant to be light-hearted ish

[monster]

there are many ways and times to cheer, it depends on your personality and that of your kid, and the age/level of the program.

If you hear a parent berating their kid for anything other than bad behaviour, or contradicting the coach ....smack em down.

[footfootfoot]

Sorry, I'm a little tense.

[classicman]

What age group is your kid in?

[footfootfoot]

Originally Posted by classicman

What age group is your kid in?

He's gonna be 5 in Nov.

[classicman]

He's in the "herdball" age. That's when the whistle blows and all the kids immediately move toward the ball like its a huge magnet. Then as the ball moves up & down the field so do all the kids in a tightly packed group.

They'll most likely play 2 halfs (halves) at that age. The idea is to let the kids run around for 20 mins before and after their snack.

[lookout123]

The international transfer window for soccer players closed at midnight last night and it was stressing me out too much so I shut off all tv and interwebz except for the Arsenal game saturday morning. So now I'm just getting back to the cellar.

Dude, you spooked me with the thread title and the opening lines about banging a soccer mom... I was like, "DUDE, you totally misunderestimated what I meant!" and then I remembered you mentioning Inch was about to start playing. Game on dude.

First things first. Have fun and make sure the Inch is having fun all else is just icing on the cake.

Classic is probably right in saying that you will see herdball, aka bunchball, aka 14 monkeys humping a football... BUT I refuse to accept that is a necessary component of U6 soccer. Kids can be taught skills and proper play even at that young age. Trust me on this.

My suggestions?

1) Watch the coach and see if he's a seasoned pro at coaching or if it's just a dad who enjoys the game. Either way the kids can learn from him(or her). If he doesn't already have an assistant I would encourage you to ask the coach if he would like some help just keeping the kids organized while he instructs them. That is the biggest difference at that young age. Some coaches are on their own and they have 10 kids kicking shins while he talks to one player. With another parent keeping the kids focused, the kids will learn more, they won't get bored, and the coach, kids, and parents will enjoy the game more. The benefit to you is that you'll learn more about the game and you'll get to watch Inch interact with his peers and learn more about your kid.

2) Encourage Inch to take risks. If he is afraid of looking silly or making a mistake he won't learn and won't enjoy the game. One of the most important phrases to learn and use often is, "Good thought!!!" Not every good idea ends with a properly executed wonder-move but that doesn't mean the idea was faulty. I use that phrase more than any other even with my adult teams.

3) Encourage Inch to play his best in any role the coach gives him, but listen carefully to what position he likes and focus on the most appropriate skills for that position when practicing at home. Each player should learn all the skills but each player's personality will determine what position they are best suited for. Encourage Inch to find the comfort zone and expand that zone incrementally.

4) While I am guilty of owning or having already discarded nearly every training tool, net, rebounder, and any other piece of crap you can think of I stress this idea to all parents who ask me how Lil Lookout developed his skills. Here's the secret: let them kick the ball. A lot. Kick the ball over and over and over again with him. Find a sturdy wall and tell Inch that when you aren't available he can kick the ball against that wall. That allows him to practice hitting the ball with good technique and also receiving it in various ways when it bounces back. The only two things a player needs are a ball and a wall. Everything else is icing.

5) Even if you are anti social (I am) be friendly with the other parents in the stands. Be a beacon of good sportsmanship for the parents. Cheer for kids on both teams when they make a good move. Don't yell things like, "shoot! pass! Go forward!" that is for the coach to do. You yell, "good job Inch/bobby/betty/billy! Nice pass! Good shot! Keep it up Wolves/Tigers/CarpetLizards!"

6) After each game is over you will of course be proud and tell Inch great job, but be the parent who encourages each child you see from both teams. Inch will be listening to other players more than he will listen to what you are telling him. "Great passing, Jorge", "You sure ran hard today, Suzie", "way to find the open space today, Fred", and "Nice dribbling, Felipe" will make those kids smile, but it will also stick in Inch's mind that you notice all the little things, not just the ball hitting the back of the net. The kid wants your praise and will exhibit behaviors to earn that praise so be careful to praise choices and work, not just results.

Phrases to master:

Good ball! (sounds way cooler than good kick)
Nice Touch! (means nice control while receiving or dribbling)
Great pass! (duh)
Good thought! (again, praise choices and work, not just results)
OK, Unlucky! (to be used sparingly when a child is denied a goal by good save)
It costs how much!?! (usage will be obvious and frequent)

Phrases to avoid:

Drop the fucker! (yes the bully deserves it, but be more subtle)
Don't pass if you don't have to! (I heard that one last week)
Go Forward! (if every parent says that and every kid listens there will be no defense)


The mom's from my last rec team got me a I Love Soccer Moms shirt as a gag gift last season. I wore it as a joke to our pizza party and we all had a good laugh. DO NOT go buy that shirt and wear it to the first practice. This will result in you being known as "THAT guy" and could result in you not even getting homefield advantage with Inch's soccer mom.

Have fun.

[footfootfoot]

Thanks lookout, I'll go to wikipedia for the basics of the game. i.e. rules, overall concept. I am not joking about my lack of knowledge, but your advice sounds great since it focuses on the sportsmanship rather than specifics.

I can see why your teams do so well.

My childhood sports involved football, baseball, and street hockey, played in empty lots with no adults in sight.

[lookout123]

Oh, you want the real basics? No worries, it's the world's game. You know - the world. where they're more left leaning and not so into freemarket capitalism and the like. Here in America we're rugged and believe in freedom that is why our national sports have roughly 8,328 rules that not even the coaches and referees know. Soccer/Football has just a few basic rules you need to know.

The game you see on tv is the adult game and we expect kids to grow into that. When they start we play small side (fewer players, smaller fields) so they'll get more touches on the ball and learn faster. You're league will have it's own quirks but expect 6-8 kids per team on the field. Substitutions are done whenever the coaches decide. You will not use the offside rule at this age.

1) No one but the goalie may use their hands at any time. Handball is called if they use any part between top of the shoulder and fingertip. Keepers can use their hands but only inside the goalie box(Penalty Area).

2) Players will try to move the ball from their end of the field to the opposing side and kick it into the Goal. They can dribble, pass, or just plain kick it hard and hope someone on their team gets it.

3) The ball is always in play unless a foul is committed or the ball goes out of bounds and they hear a whistle. No whistle, no stop. The ball must completely and totally pass over line before it is considered out. Players can run over and around the line, the ball is the only thing that matters.
-If the ball goes out on the side it is a throw-in for the other team. They must throw the ball in, two handed straight over their head while leaving both feet on the ground. This is a hard one for five year olds.
-If the ball goes out on the end it is either a goalkick (goalie kicks it back into play) or a corner kick (attacking team kicks it in from nearest corner)

4) A goal results in one point.

5) A foul will result in a free kick being awarded from that spot. The kick may be direct or indirect depending upon the foul - this will probably not be followed in Inch's league. Any kick will be directed toward the goal, most likely. At this age it is extremely unlikely that you will see any bookable offenses (yellow card/red card)so don't worry about that.
-Yellow Card - shown to a player after certain fouls, generally very harsh or malicious fouls. No big deal, it's just a warning. Opposing team gets a free kick. (later on they'll do last man, handball in the box, professional fouls, but don't worry yet)
-Red Card - Given for very very malicious tackles, poor sportsmanship or upon receipt of second yellow card in the same game. This results in a free kick and the penalized team has to play short one player. you will not see this happen so don't worry about it.

There is no shot clock, play clock, time out, or foul count. Play the game and run,run,run. That pretty much covers it.

If you feel the need to read this is a more detailed version of stuff. You have exactly ZERO need to read the official Laws of the Game. Don't even bother.

[lookout123]

Oh, and when it comes to equipment you will surely receive a jersey and maybe shorts. You will have to provide pads, socks, and shoes.

You can go to any sports store at this time of the year and buy a package that includes Nike/Adidas/Umbro Shoes/Socks/Pads/Ball for $30-40. That is an easy way to do it.

Or you can do it my way. Don't waste your money on the big brands at this age. I'm kind of sponsored by Nike so I get the gear for pennies on the dollar otherwise LL wouldn't be decked out in Nike everything.

For that age I suggest you get the pads that are sewn into the socks. Target carries a Franklin pad that is great bang for the buck at $3.75. They come in PeeWee and Small so size shouldn't be an issue. If they fit Inch buy a couple pairs so you aren't racing around the house looking for "the other one".

Socks - you may be able to get away with just using the shinguard/sock, but for comfort and avoiding blisters get a pair of soccer socks for $3.00(they're on the hook next to the pads at Target)

Shoes - If Inch is coordinated for his age and not one that falls down all the time it is ok to get him cleats. Again, his feet will grow so fast, just get the lower end ones. If you don't want cleats, just a regular running shoe is fine. ($20 Nike or Adidas at famous footwear for cleats)

Ball - Does not have to be one of the big name brands but they aren't actually any more expensive so here is an area worth splurging for quality, just a little. I personally find the Nike balls ($15 at sports stores or Toys r Us) to be more durable, but you can get Adidas balls at Target for $15.

Total cost? $40. Huh, it's the same damn thing whether you buy the start up kit or buy it all separately. The only real difference is the pads. If you get the starter kit the pads you get are the strap on kind. Those are a pain in the ass for this age, IMO.

As always, YMMV, but I've found this information to be accurate and unchanged in the last few years.