If I showed up at your door

[blue]

Like tonight, before you go to bed. I've been divorced or on the run from something. And I ended up in your town by chance, vaguely remembered your name and looked you up in the phone book.

So you're all like "who are you, what do you want?", and I'm all like "It's me, blue58...you know, from the cellar".

"Anyway I'm in a bit of a jam, and I know you don't know me from Adam, but I could really use a place to stay for a coupla days"

What would you do, and I mean if it truly happened like this for me or any other cellar member? Looking for totally honest replies here, although smartass comments are indeed welcome and expected (and appreciated), but want some serious thoughts too.

[novice]

Unless you appeared to be an obvious problem, ie wearing gang colours- exuding a powerfully disgusting smell- carrying a weapon of any sort- stoned or drunk- carrying a bible etc etc...., I would be happy to help in any way possible.

[slang]

If a cellar member was in serious need for a place to crash for a few days, there wouldnt be a problem.

If the cellar member wouldnt object to having my Glock pointed at their head until they logged in to prove their identity, they could crash in my second bedroom. For a few days.

You'd have to be seriously desparate to want to stay here though. Fort Slang is the polar opposite of the Undertoad estate. Not a lot you'd find interesting or appealing here.

But as for the regulars that I have met, we could skip the identity login/ Glock to temple process. This would apply to even those that I personally find the most annoying.

You might find some temporary shelter, but you'd be listening to me tell you how irritating and wrong some of your opinions in a given post have been.

Overall though, I think this is actually a pretty civil and generous group and I'm glad that people tolerate me here. If a member was in serious need, I'd help them if I could.




Even you Jag.










(But ooohh the lecture you'd get before you crashed..........wow.)

[xoxoxoBruce]

I'd pick you up where ever you were calling from, get you something to eat, then drop you at LJ's house.
No seriously, we'd talk while you ate and I if was uncomfortable, I'd put you in a motel, prepaid with cash, of course.

[Clodfobble]

Same here... it would totally depend on what it was that got you into the situation.

Divorce etc., no problem, come on in, we've got plenty of good booze in the house.

If you were, say, covered in blood and asking to borrow the shovel, well then I'd have to insist you hosed off in the yard first--I'm very neurotic about stains.

In any case though, I have to admit I'm very leery of people wanting to stay for "a coupla days." I'd likely only go for one night, unless there were a very established deadline, like "my brother can wire me money as soon as he gets paid again" or "I'll surrender myself on Thursday, after I've seen the new South Park."

[Troubleshooter]

Five business days. That's plenty of time to arrange other accomodations or convince me something was happening that would get you taken care of.

All that depends on what the committee says of course...

[lumberjim]

I'd ask jinx what to do.

better safe than sorry.

[staceyv]

i would worry that you could be some crazy freak with an alter id online. there would be no way for me to know for sure if you were really who you are online. i would be afraid to open the door. i am generally suspicious and a little untrusting when it comes to strangers asking for my help...now, if i had some way to check your background and prove 100% that you are the person that you seem to be here at the cellar, i would let you in and help you out...it's just that - how would i know??

[Torrere]

I would probably say "come on in" and apologize for the lack of a spare comfortable place to sleep.

I've had a person from atypedigital come by at about one a.m. asking for a place to stay for the week... but then, I'd known him in real life for a few years, so it's a different scenario altogether.

[Undertoad]

"OK, listen; from time to time somebody goes nuts and makes more of me that they're supposed to, because I appear to run the place. Nothing pisses me off worse. I don't know why you picked me but I gotta assume that's why. And I gotta admit, I think that's very fucked up.

"On the other hand, sure maybe you didn't have anywhere else to go. OK, here's what we'll do. Tonight, you can stay at the Hampden Inn on me. Tomorrow, you come back here, I'll make you some eggs and we can start a thread on this. I'm pretty sure if you really need help, we can figure this out."

[Griff]

I used to be much more free about this stuff before I got kids. I'd ask Jim to ask Jinx.

[xoxoxoBruce]

I'd ask Jim to ask Jinx.

[tw]

Originally posted by slang
If the cellar member wouldnt object to having my Glock pointed at their head until they logged in to prove their identity, they could crash in my second bedroom.

Even a driver's license would not be sufficient. How the old standards have fallen. Today's new standards for identification - The Cellar.

[Troubleshooter]

Originally posted by tw
Even a driver's license would not be sufficient. How the old standards have fallen. Today's new standards for identification - The Cellar.

I think the Cellar is a higher standard.

Any monkey can get a driver's license. Give me a couple of days and a little money and I can have several DL's with different names that would pass any visual test.

"The Cellar. The new standard of Excellence!"

[Troubleshooter]

Another idea.

If you can survive a year as a resident of the Cellar you can be considered a citizen and can vote.

Heinlein anyone? Anyone?