Devastated - Totally Destroyed

[Big Sarge]

My life is collapsing all around me. I had been selected for a tour of active duty starting in 5 weeks if I could recover from my surgery in time.

I received a notification today that my records are scheduled for review under a Qualitative Retention Board because I have (almost) 26 years of service. In other words, they are downsizing and kicking a bunch of the old guys out. Things look pretty bleak for me.

I'm crushed. Without the Army, what will I do??? I'm nothing without my identity as a soldier.

[orthodoc]

Sarge, I'm so sorry. Don't assume the worst until it happens, but think about alternatives in the meantime. You have skills that most people don't. You have experience. If - and I say if - this goes as you fear, there are other possibilities.

That said, I'm sorry this is happening. You know you have friends here, please keep us informed.

[Ocean's Edge]

Sarge, .. *ouch* .. I don't know what to tell you ... I do know of more than a few guys who've gone through it. Is there a formal program of ex-military guys supporting each other, or even an informal contact you could make with those who've been there done that before you?

[Pete Zicato]

Sarge, dammit, you're a soldier. Whether you realize it or not, you've learned a lot and experienced a lot in the service. You've got a lot to offer society. So if it does come out this way, you've got options.

[Sundae]

Oh baby, what a shitty thing.
But:
1) You don't know yet that they will chuck you out. Don't borrow trouble.

2) Thinking of yourself ONLY as a soldier is only in your own head. You are a son, a father, a friend, a valued person.

3) Despite the baby-mama-drama you still have at least one son and daughter who love you as the man you are.

4) Try to be kinder to yourself. You've been to hell and back. I know you have spiritual leanings, see yourself as a child of God, as part of his creation. God wasn't sleeping the day you were conceived.

5) Don't give up on us. We love you too.

[Big Sarge]

Thank you for the warm wishes. I apologize. I had a knee jerk reaction when I received the letter and I blurted out my feelings. I am one of those people whose self esteem is centered on their work. That's my way of being validated and it is because of the neglect I experienced as a child.

This past year has been devastating to me. I was wrongfully fired from my job that has led to a long drawn out court battle. Access to my two youngest girls has been limited due to baby mama crap. I started mixing meds with alcohol. My health took another turn for the worse and I've had chemo and surgery. I admit I have become very reclusive.

Well, I don't have any other choice. I have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and see what happens on this journey. I sincerely apologize for the drama. I have shared far too much and I need to keep more things to myself.

I'll be taking a little break from the cellar. I'm ok, no one needs to worry. I will check in from time to time.

[DanaC]

Originally Posted by Big Sarge

.

Well, I don't have any other choice. I have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and see what happens on this journey. I sincerely apologize for the drama. I have shared far too much and I need to keep more things to myself.

I'll be taking a little break from the cellar. I'm ok, no one needs to worry. I will check in from time to time.

Wait one bloody minute there, matey-blokey. What the fuck? Seriously. In what universe does our sympathy and friendship mean you have to go silent?

Damnit lad, that's the polar opposite of what anybody here wants. We worry because we care. And people who care generally don't want the person they care about to fuck off into silentsville and stop sharing the immediacy of their lives.

There. Consider yourself told. Please don't make me get on a plane to come over there and slap you. I can't afford it for one thng.

*hugs* I know you're going through the mill right now honey, but please, please don't isolate yourself from us as a response. Talking helps. None of this is 'drama', it is what is happening in your life.

[Griff]

I don't think you need a break Sarge. Its in times like these that we need to bend someones ear.

[Sundae]

No apologies necessary.

And don't you bloody dare leave here without letting me know how to contact you.
Or as I said in a PM, letting people who love you have my contact details.
I don't mind being a conduit for letting the Cellar know how you are. Or I can keep it vague, or completely private - as you wish.

Monster said a while back that this was going to be a bad year for Dwellars (I'm paraphrasing) and so far it has been a car-crash for some. Me included. But those of us still alive can work towards a better time.

You're loved and needed.

[morethanpretty]

Please don't isolate and leave us Sarge. This is a time you need the support of your friends, and thats what we are. Being reclusive will not help, we're here to support you through your drama. We want to know and hear from you.

[ZenGum]

If nothing else, I reckon you should just drop by and share some sexy panda humour every now and then.

[limey]

Sarge - everyone here is right. We here to share all the times, bad as well as good. Stay with us. X

[sexobon]

Originally Posted by Big Sarge

... they are downsizing and kicking a bunch of the old guys out. ...

Tell them you want a retirement parade. With all the military budget cuts, it'll probably be another 10 years before they can afford to give you one and they'll have to keep you on till then.

[Sundae]

Originally Posted by sexobon

Tell them you want a retirement parade. With all the military budget cuts, it'll probably be another 10 years before they can afford to give you one and they'll have to keep you on till then.

Snort.

Then again, even with all the budget cuts we still managed to give Thatcher a £3.5 million funeral. I'm not one to denigrate spectacle for the sake of it; we do it well. But IMHO it should have been funded by private donors. Those who earned millions when she was in power. Get a hundred of them - just a hundred even! - and it wouldn't cost them more than their spit.

Aggreived, Ten Bridge Rolls.

[Aliantha]

Sarge, is this because your new eyebrows wore out? I'm sure we can organise to send some more if you need.

We love you here. Just stick around. It means a lot to many, and it's a small thing for you to do. xxx