Do girls really care about a guys sexual history?

Aliantha · 10-08-2006, 06:12 PM

Well do they?

Aliantha · 10-08-2006, 06:15 PM

To answer my own question from my own perspective, I would say the biggest thing I'd worry about if a guy had had multiple partners, was whether or not they'd always practiced safe sex.

Other than that, I don't really care how many partners they've had. Only that the women they have chosen to have relationships with have been treated with dignity and respect from start to finish.

After all, sex is one thing...love is something entirely different.

DucksNuts · 10-08-2006, 07:57 PM

Sexual History - yes, but not the number of partners.

Safeness, Fetishes and kinkyness/freakyness would interest me...or worry me :p

Lack of sexual history at this stage *might* make me raise an eyebrow pending the circumstances.

I would be interested in his relationship history, but not number of sexual partners.

10-09-2006, 09:20 AM

You get what you give.

Its about character and lifestyles.

Its about choices one makes in life and what those choice tell about that persons character, there values and beliefs.

Trilby · 10-09-2006, 12:02 PM

yesman065 · 10-09-2006, 03:57 PM

bm "there values and beliefs." their - not there as in "over there" its their as in showing possession or ownership - relating to a group of individuals -

Aliantha · 10-09-2006, 11:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bmwmcaw

You get what you give.

Its about character and lifestyles.

Its about choices one makes in life and what those choice tell about that persons character, there values and beliefs.

If this is what you truly believe, then where is the room for growth and change in a person? Just because a person has one belief today doesn't mean they will still believe it tomorrow, or that they believed it yesterday.

Certainly what you are now is a product of your past, but if all you see is the past, then what's the point of even considering the future?

The point is, if you were one thing once, but you're another now, should you be judged by what you were or what you are? Surely everyone has committed sins in their lives. Done things they're not proud of. Taken the wrong path or even made decisions which have been detrimental to themselves. Do we judge everyone we meet by what they've done before?

Maybe some people do, but I choose not to. So do many other people I know. I hate to refer to any religious scriptures, but even Jesus had something to say about sin and judgement.

yesman065 · 10-10-2006, 07:17 AM

Saying that we are all what we are or what we have been and are never going to change is simply not true. If it were we would all still believe in the Easter Bunny & Santa Clause.

Madman · 10-10-2006, 02:07 PM

Only if it counts. I don't mean 'Partner number 82' either. Curiosity gets the best of us no matter how mature and accepting you think you really are. Face it! We all (at least most of us) want to be the "best your partner ever had" when it comes to you know what-ing. Then, when it is good, we want to know who it was before you or whomever. Then when they "fess up" your then allowing that little worm of self-doubt and insecurity creep into your life. Then it shows its sneaky little head and starts to irritate you.

Its a forum and all this is in fun. But what the heck. Don't get into a tizzy or tazzy if your "lover" had more partners than you. BFD - you (we, us, them, they) ain't perfect either.

9th Engineer · 10-10-2006, 03:47 PM

I hate to be sitting on the fence here, but I think the answer lies somewhere between Aliantha and bmw. People change, true, but we never leave our past behind. Change is a continual, gradual process. I think a good analogy would go something like this "If you put some water in a glass and accidently drop some dirt in it, how can you make the water clear again without pouring out the water? You can make the water clear by adding more and more clean water until you can't see the difference". The water would be everything that makes you who you are, you can't reset yourself and go back to square one. What you can do is live your life the way you want people to see you and in time your new self will outweigh your old self. I remember saying that you should act on what a person does, not what they say they will do. If someone is asking you to trust them to make major changes in their life, then give them time to prove it. It might take a few weeks, other changes need years to prove. Whether it's going sober, dropping abusive habits, whatever, only time can be trusted to show if a person is serious, not what they tell you.

yesman065 · 10-10-2006, 04:01 PM

I agree 9th, but only to a point - to clear the water with dirt one may leave it be until the dirt settles, then the vast majority of the water is clear to do with as you see fit. Thats a great analogy - We all have a lot of dirt at the bottom of our glasses - yet the majority is all clear till shaken.

Aliantha · 10-10-2006, 06:03 PM

Well you can always get a filter in to clean the water if you want to use that one. You could also say that it doesn't matter how pure you think the water is, there are always impurities right from the begining. Original sin?

Madman, about what you said with regard to curiosity. I've fallen prey to that before although it's had nothing to do with my lovers previous partners sexual prowess and more to do with other things in my life that I have self doubt about. This is something I reckon most of us have challenges with from time to time but like most others, after that moment of jealousy or self doubt or whatever you call it, you realise that your lover is with you in part because they chose not to be with someone in the past, and to me, that's comforting.

One final point though, just so that everyone is clear. I don't think it's a mistake to have had more partners than anyone else thinks is improper. If you value youself, and what you have to offer and your current partner sees the same things in you, then that's all that matters. If a prospective partner doesn't want to jump on board then I'd say it's their loss entirely.

10-08-2006, 06:12 PM	#1
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	Do girls really care about a guys sexual history? Well do they? __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

10-08-2006, 06:15 PM	#2
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	To answer my own question from my own perspective, I would say the biggest thing I'd worry about if a guy had had multiple partners, was whether or not they'd always practiced safe sex. Other than that, I don't really care how many partners they've had. Only that the women they have chosen to have relationships with have been treated with dignity and respect from start to finish. After all, sex is one thing...love is something entirely different. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

10-09-2006, 09:20 AM	#4
bmwmcaw Guest Posts: n/a	You get what you give. Its about character and lifestyles. Its about choices one makes in life and what those choice tell about that persons character, there values and beliefs. Last edited by bmwmcaw; 10-09-2006 at 09:25 AM.

10-10-2006, 07:17 AM	#8
yesman065 Banned - Self Imposed Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 1,847	Saying that we are all what we are or what we have been and are never going to change is simply not true. If it were we would all still believe in the Easter Bunny & Santa Clause. Last edited by yesman065; 10-10-2006 at 03:57 PM.

10-10-2006, 03:47 PM	#10
9th Engineer Bioengineer and aspiring lawer Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Pittsburgh Posts: 872	I hate to be sitting on the fence here, but I think the answer lies somewhere between Aliantha and bmw. People change, true, but we never leave our past behind. Change is a continual, gradual process. I think a good analogy would go something like this "If you put some water in a glass and accidently drop some dirt in it, how can you make the water clear again without pouring out the water? You can make the water clear by adding more and more clean water until you can't see the difference". The water would be everything that makes you who you are, you can't reset yourself and go back to square one. What you can do is live your life the way you want people to see you and in time your new self will outweigh your old self. I remember saying that you should act on what a person does, not what they say they will do. If someone is asking you to trust them to make major changes in their life, then give them time to prove it. It might take a few weeks, other changes need years to prove. Whether it's going sober, dropping abusive habits, whatever, only time can be trusted to show if a person is serious, not what they tell you. __________________ The most valuable renewable resource is stupidity.

10-08-2006, 07:57 PM	#3
DucksNuts Bitchy Little Brat Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Queensland, Australia Posts: 5,067	Sexual History - yes, but not the number of partners. Safeness, Fetishes and kinkyness/freakyness would interest me...or worry me :p Lack of sexual history at this stage might make me raise an eyebrow pending the circumstances. I would be interested in his relationship history, but not number of sexual partners.

10-09-2006, 12:02 PM	#5
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654

10-09-2006, 03:57 PM	#6
yesman065 Banned - Self Imposed Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 1,847	bm "there values and beliefs." their - not there as in "over there" its their as in showing possession or ownership - relating to a group of individuals -

10-10-2006, 02:07 PM	#9
Madman has left the building. Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 455	Only if it counts. I don't mean 'Partner number 82' either. Curiosity gets the best of us no matter how mature and accepting you think you really are. Face it! We all (at least most of us) want to be the "best your partner ever had" when it comes to you know what-ing. Then, when it is good, we want to know who it was before you or whomever. Then when they "fess up" your then allowing that little worm of self-doubt and insecurity creep into your life. Then it shows its sneaky little head and starts to irritate you. Its a forum and all this is in fun. But what the heck. Don't get into a tizzy or tazzy if your "lover" had more partners than you. BFD - you (we, us, them, they) ain't perfect either.

10-10-2006, 04:01 PM	#11
yesman065 Banned - Self Imposed Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 1,847	I agree 9th, but only to a point - to clear the water with dirt one may leave it be until the dirt settles, then the vast majority of the water is clear to do with as you see fit. Thats a great analogy - We all have a lot of dirt at the bottom of our glasses - yet the majority is all clear till shaken.

10-10-2006, 06:03 PM	#12
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	Well you can always get a filter in to clean the water if you want to use that one. You could also say that it doesn't matter how pure you think the water is, there are always impurities right from the begining. Original sin? Madman, about what you said with regard to curiosity. I've fallen prey to that before although it's had nothing to do with my lovers previous partners sexual prowess and more to do with other things in my life that I have self doubt about. This is something I reckon most of us have challenges with from time to time but like most others, after that moment of jealousy or self doubt or whatever you call it, you realise that your lover is with you in part because they chose not to be with someone in the past, and to me, that's comforting. One final point though, just so that everyone is clear. I don't think it's a mistake to have had more partners than anyone else thinks is improper. If you value youself, and what you have to offer and your current partner sees the same things in you, then that's all that matters. If a prospective partner doesn't want to jump on board then I'd say it's their loss entirely. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

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