Casual Friday - Corporate Hell Thread

[Kitsune]

Time to share more aspects of corporate life that are amusing in a sick or sad way...

The two dozen of us had been pulled into a conference room for a meeting on what had been a fairly normal Monday. People were busy chatting about football games, cookouts, and all the normal weekend topics office drones carry on about while waiting for the staff meeting to begin. In the middle of the table, a speaker phone beeped to announce that our director (who worked at another office) had joined the conference number to speak to us. My manager, sitting across from me, had a long and unhappy look on his face. On seeing this, I got a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach that only grew worse as our director addressed the group.

"Good morning", he said in a flat tone followed by a heavy sigh, "I, uh... well, I have some bad news and I want to get it out of the way." The volume in the room quickly dropped. "You've all heard there have been budget cuts, recently, and we've done everything we can to tighten our belts." I winced. "Unfortunately, I have to tell you all that we're going to lose a lot of good, talented people to these cuts." Some in the room emitted groans of disgust as a thick depression set in. Blank stares, furrowed brows, and silence ruled the room until someone asked, "How many?"

"Somewhere between ten and twenty-five percent."

I looked over to see a co-worker's head hit the table in frustration. I threw my pencil across the room, knowing that my contract position was guaranteed to be eliminated. Those that lost their jobs were in for a world of hurt while those that were retained by the company were going to be completely swamped by a mountain of work. Everyone was screwed. No one said a thing. It felt like minutes went by as the director searched for the right words, something to say to his people, something to reassure them that life would go on and the world wasn't ending, words from a leader to shake us from shock.

"In light of this, uh, information", he stuttered, "...you may all wear jeans for the rest of the week."

Total silence. Some confused looks. Had we heard him right? Had our director attempted to ease the pain of a major layoff announcement by extending casual Friday? Was this a joke?

"...since, ah, you might as well be comfortable during this difficult time. Thank you, uh, for your time." The conference line beeped to signal he had hung up.

That was the day I changed. From then, on, I knew I could never treat a job at a major corporation seriously ever again.

[theotherguy]

That really sucks. However, I did laugh my ass off and read it to a few people when they came into my office to make sure I was not going insane.

[SteveDallas]

It sounds typical.. I remember during the days of the .com bust, I saw more than one article basically saying that management types were relieved that, with the tight labor market easing, they would once again be able to force employees to wear suits. You could tell some of these people just really weren't comfortable unless they could essentially punish their employees for the heinous crime of being their employees!

I remember when my employer instituted a written dress code for the first time... one of my cow-orkers was a very dapper button-down kind of guy. I figured he'd be all for it, but he said, "I wear a tie because I choose to.. I'll be damned if I'll sit still for somebody telling me to do it!"

[barefoot serpent]

Originally Posted by Kitsune

"In light of this, uh, information", he stuttered, "...you may all wear jeans for the rest of the week."

yeah, and you can wear a Hawaiian shirt on Fridays /Lumbergh voice

[Kitsune]

I don't think I remember anyone switching to jeans, perhaps in rebellion. I found that strangely amusing. And sad.

Well, to finish that story, months passed and no one got laid off. There were some major re-orgs within the company and money was mysteriously "found", as it always was during bad times, and everyone kept their jobs for a little while longer. Morale was pretty low from then on out, though.

Morale has been so low for so many years at my place of employment that many aspects of the company are now engineered to deal with negative employee reactions. (more on these this, later) So while a lot of the problems that must be dealt with are expected, especially in a company with an employee population in the tens of thousands, it is the subtle reactions that most often make one realize they're working in a place where people have a dim view of their job.

Several years ago I went out for lunch and, on my drive out of the business park, I noticed a couple vehicles pulled off to the side of the road and a cluster of people gathered around gazing and pointing into the woods. I joked to myself that maybe they had found a body and, sure enough, on my return an hour later I passed by a series of cones that had closed off a portion of the road inside the business park with a string of yellow police tape just beyond. I parked near my building and walked down the road from the office to investigate, moving the cones aside as I arrived to allow an ambulance and firetruck through to the scene that was already crowded with police. As I stood at a distance, watching, the coroner arrived on scene and I witnessed the police head into the woods with a ladder. Yep -- someone had decided to hang themselves from one of the big oaks sometime the night before or early that morning.

I didn't realize it at the time, but the commotion had caused many in the office to crowd around the windows in an attempt to figure out what was going on. After the ambulance had departed with lights off and no cargo, I figured the investigation would take some time and headed back in -- nothing to see there.

"What happened?"
"What's going on?"
"Was there an accident?"
"Is everything okay?"

I explained what I knew -- police said they'd found a body up the road and it appeared that to be a suicide by hanging. I found it surprising that it happened in the business park, but owning a police scanner I know that suicide is pretty much the norm for any given day in any part of this town. When the news finally got to my manager, he rushed up to me and made a request: "Please do a headcount."

"What?"
"We need to make sure everyone is okay."

I was surprised and didn't understand -- out of the many thousands of people in the dozen or so companies inside the business park, I didn't see a reason to suspect that one of our people had offed themselves. Yet, my manager was insistent and began to rush from cubical to cubical, taking roll. When my manager couldn't locate some of his employees, he frantically paged them until they called in to let him know that yes, they were in fact alive and no, they were not yet that stressed out with their line of work. Phone calls were placed, security was alerted to the situation down the street, and I watched in amazement as other managers sprang into action, checking off names from their rosters. This, I figured, was not a normal reaction.

I found out later that my management had been concerned for some months about the mental health of their employees. More and more of them were on anti-depressants and, in my group, half had seen a doctor in the prior two years for stress and depression.

You'd think this would be a good indication that something wasn't quite right.

[theotherguy]

Wow. That is one rough workplace.

Sounds kinda' typical to me.

[Cicero]

The Marketing Director was very proud of her jeans today at work and pointed them out. I was like yea- that's- that's - those are neat. Ya know....something to live for.
Sad.
I work here but I don't directly work for them....so....I'm probably supposed to live by their rules...but they don't pay me. So if they have a problem with the way I dress they can talk to my boss, who really won't be interested in hearing it.
The staff gets jealous and points out my jeans when I'm wearing them M-Th or whenever. That is also so sad. It's not like I look trashy at work, I usually have something on with the jeans that dresses them up a bit- but alas...for some people it is still really a big deal.

Maybe if your pants are tight enough it will keep your life from falling apart somehow? Happy Jeans!!! Wooo-hoo!!!

[HungLikeJesus]

Cicero - in Colorado, it seems, everyone wears jeans. I thought NM was the same way.

[Cicero]

Are you in Colorado HLJ?
When I lived in Colorado jeans were more off limits than they are here in a corporate environment*......I think it really just depends on the company you work for.
Most people down here are pretty relaxed about that....just not at this particular place along with a couple others I can think of.

Disclaimer:
*Well- The place I was living is pretty conservative compared to the rest of Colorado, I have to add.* Not that jean friendly...not that anything friendly really....thinking about it.

[HungLikeJesus]

Originally Posted by Cicero

Are you in Colorado HLJ?
When I lived in Colorado jeans were more off limits than they are here in a corporate environment*......I think it really just depends on the company you work for.
Most people down here are pretty relaxed about that....just not at this particular place along with a couple others I can think of.

Disclaimer:
*Well- The place I was living is pretty conservative compared to the rest of Colorado, I have to add.* Not that jean friendly...not that anything friendly really....thinking about it.

I'm in the Denver area. The only people I see in suits are the lawyers that work in my building, and then only when they're going to see the judge.

[Cicero]

I don't think the standards have much to do with suits. At most corporations I worked at in Colorado, as well as here, what you were wearing was ok as long as it wasn't jeans of any kind.
Business to business casual was all fine.
Except for Lexis Nexis, they let people edit in their pajamas...which I would never do.

[theotherguy]

My office: no shorts, no sleeveless shirts, no uncovered toes in the manufacturing area (if something falls and cuts one off, it is easier to find if it is still in your shoe). Other than that, we are very casual. Some people like the slacks, button-up, loafers route. Others are in jeans and a golf shirt every day. I like to mix it up.

[kerosene]

Originally Posted by Cicero

Disclaimer:
*Well- The place I was living is pretty conservative compared to the rest of Colorado, I have to add.* Not that jean friendly...not that anything friendly really....thinking about it.

Let me guess...Colorado Springs?

[Cicero]

Originally Posted by case

Let me guess...Colorado Springs?

Noo waay. Wrong. How could you be so wrong about such a thing?!?