Pets as Entertainment: Weird Pet Habits

[Glinda]

My kitty goon squad consists of:

Zoey: a tiny 14-year-old, polydactyl Domestic Lynx. Zoey is neurotic; she never stops meowing. In the middle of the night, I'll wake up to hear her yowling at the top of her voice as she wanders around the house. If I'm on the phone, she simply MUST get up in my face and yell at me. She won't even stop when I pet and scratch her. I've taken to walking around the house while on the phone, so she can't holler over the voice of the caller.



Scooter Pie: a big, burly 1-year-old gray tabby mutt. Scooter is a spaz; nothing is safe from his inquisitive (and ultimately destructive) nature. He regularly goes into kitty-freak-out mode, zooming around the house, bouncing off the furniture, staring at nothing with a wild, startled look on his face, then zooming off again throughout the house. He also prefers to relax flat on his back, spread-eagle. I don't know. He's just weird. He is entertaining, though.



One of my cats has developed an odd habit. Every morning, I wake up to find that one or the other of my cats (or maybe a poltergeist?) has left a specific kitty toy on the couch where I sit to watch TV at night, or on the floor next to that spot. The kitty toy is an ancient felt catnip-filled mouse that my good neighbor's daughter made for my then-kitties about 10 years ago. Both of those kitties have passed on, but the felt mouse lives on as a favored toy of Zoey and Scoot.

Turns out, I'm not the only person with pets that have odd habits. Here are some of the more hilarious I found online:

My cat likes hair ties. He swallowed one once and he proceeded to prance around the living room with the rubber piece hanging out of his asshole. I now have to hide them all so I'm not paying for surgery on his dumb ass.
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My pet rat, Doctor, likes to poop when she is hanging from the bars of her cage and making eye contact with me or my fiancee.

She knows it makes us uncomfortable. She don't care.
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My dog can sense when I'm about to fart and will stick his nose near my ass crack to smell it and then run away in disgust after. I have no idea why he continues to do it when it clearly annoys him
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My SO's dog, Lola, farts when we enter the car.

Every time.
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My cat used to sit on my couch, like a person would with her 2 back legs outstretched in front of her, and then proceed to bend down and suck on her own nipples while purring very loudly. It was weird.
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My dog does this little boner dance whenever he has a boner. He slides across the floor and humps the air rapidly until his doggy-boner goes down.
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One of our cats will climb up onto the back of our couch while we're watching a movie or something and loudly clean his butthole.
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My cat nurses on his own tail. He will creepily come up and lay really close to you, curl in a ball, and start sucking away at the end of his tail. Sometimes he'll even look you in the eye while he does it.
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My male cat likes to stand in the corner, face the wall, and sing the song of his people. My female kitten likes to meow at me and then hide when I walk over to pet her. She's a jerk.
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My Australian Shepherd likes to sneeze in the clean laundry as it comes out of the dryer.
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My English bulldog Shelby will sit with her back to me and try and look at me upside down by leaning back until she falls down. She does the same thing in the car.
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What odd habits do your pets have?