En El Camino

[elSicomoro]

WARNING: Over 80 lines long

No, NOT in an El Camino.

On the road...the beauty of living in such a large space is the ability to savor the open road. The road trip is as old as the automobile. I've been fortunate enough to take many a road trip in the past 10 years, with a ton of stories...and I'm sure many of you do too.

So, I'd like to share with you the longest and most interesting road trip I have ever taken...

On Sunday August 15, 1999 at about 12 noon, I packed up a 14-foot U-Haul and left St. Louis with my final destination being Baltimore. The trip started out simple enough, tooling along Interstate 70 through Illinois. We stopped in Effingham, Illinois (100 miles E of St. Louis) for a bite to eat.

It then began to go downhill from there...

We began to hit road construction near the Indiana border...a bit of stop and go which continued into Indiana...and then Ohio. Illinois, Indiana, and Ohio are some of the most boring-ass states that reside in the country. Flat land...it's all FLAAAAT! AAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!

We decided to make a stop in Columbus, Ohio to see the state Capitol, and then saw what a toilet the rest of the city was. We had a made a few stops at a few gas stations and such, drawing curious looks from the midwestern folk (given that I'm Native American and my fiance is African American...it's not overly common in those parts). Then we hit the Pennsylvania Turnpike.

It's now about 11pm and we (my fiance Rhoda and I) have just entered Pennsylvania. I am driving a 14-foot truck, which I have never done before. I'm minding my business, travelling along I-70, doing about 65 miles an hour. It's a bit cool for mid-August in the mountains, and there is quite a bit of fog out. The two lane highway is extremely narrow. Trucks are flying by on the left lane at over 80 miles an hour. I am about to lose my mind. We had originally planned to spend the night in Pittsburgh, but I'm feeling great, so I say, "Ah hell! I'm going for Baltimore!" I've now been driving for the better part of 13 hours.

I then hit the final stretch of Interstate 70, headed south towards Baltimore. I am starting to feel a bit tired, but try to keep myself awake with obnoxious music and lots o' coffee. Just before 6am, we reach the Baltimore Beltway. My in-laws live in Baltimore, but the two of us staying together is a no-no. We try to find a place to stay in Arbutus, MD, but the motel owner gives us one look and says there's nothing available (even though the parking lot is half-empty...hmmm).

Shortly after 6am, we arrive at a motel in Catonsville, MD...the girl at the counter is nice enough to give us a "free" night, given that it's already 6am. We are grateful. We put down for the night...

I get up the next afternoon and walk out to the truck...someone has decided to spray some graffiti on it...damnit! We drive to Silver Spring, MD to see the place I am going to store my stuff for the time being...it is too small. We travel over to the suburbs of Northern Virginia (as I will be staying there with a friend in Arlington temporarily). By the time we get there, we see that this space is also too small, so we decide to head back to Baltimore. Keep in mind, I am STILL driving a 14-foot truck that is due back that Tuesday (one day away). It is now rush hour on the notorious Capital Beltway...I am about to lose my mind. Suddenly, near the American Legion Bridge near the MD-VA border, a wave of calm comes over me, and I am at peace. I have not flipped out in a traffic jam since...we then feasted on Sorrento's Pizza (which is simply wonderful...and extremely inexpensive).

The next morning, we find a nice place to stash my stuff in Baltimore. I return the U-Haul, and they waive any damages on the vehicle. Life is good...and the trip finally comes to a close.

Over 1000 miles, 2 days, frazzled nerves, and hundreds of dollars. If I ever relocate across the country again, my employer damned well better pay for it!