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| Parenting Bringing up the shorties so they aren't completely messed up |
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04-10-2006, 10:13 PM
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#1 |
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to live and die in LA
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 2,090
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Top 10 Worst Reasons To Have A Kid
10. Can’t get into sweet Burger King playland ball-pit without one.
9. MySpace profile looked lame with friend count at “4,999”. 8. Well, somebody is gonna have to avenge your untimely death in a drunken bar brawl. 7. Looking to sell naming rights to GoldenPalace.com. 6. Your cult leader insisted. 5. Two words: Instant Carpool 4. Wife refuses to listen to your angry diatribes about post-modern art. Kid has no choice. 3. Potential kidney donor. 2. Seemed like the best way to quell media rumors about your impeding breakup with Tom Cruise. 1. Already spent that sweet “Dependent Tax Credit” on World of Warcraft weapons upgrade.
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to live and die in LA |
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04-10-2006, 11:14 PM
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#2 |
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-◊|≡·∙■·∙≡|◊-
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Parts unknown.
Posts: 4,081
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...So I can use the HOV lanes. Its ok. I leave the car running and a box of Cheerios next to the car seat while I'm at work.
...So I can meet the new pre-school teacher. Grow faster, damnit! ...Well, somebody's got to cut the damn grass and it ain't gonna be me. ...Because I can't figger out how to work this new internet thingy. Damn kids are born knowin this stuff. ...Gator bait. You know, the problem with knowing that your going to hell is that after that, doing more stuff that makes you go to hell - well, they can only send you there once so... 
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♠ ♥ ♣ ♦ |
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04-11-2006, 11:37 AM
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#3 |
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still eats dirt
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Tampa, FL
Posts: 3,031
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I know plenty of people that had kids simply because they love babies and wanted the attention. Strangely, it never seemed to fully sink in that babies don't stay babies forever, nor did they seem to realize that children have a tendancy to drain wallets.
The first problem is usually overcome by simply having another, which compounds problem #2. Sad. |
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04-11-2006, 10:08 PM
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#4 |
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The future is unwritten
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
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And they keep making those babies until they have grandbabies to get their fix.
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The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. |
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04-12-2006, 11:13 PM
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#5 |
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Read? I only know how to write.
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 11,933
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Eleventh worst reason to have a kid:
So I can name him Sue. |
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04-12-2006, 11:31 PM
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#6 |
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When Do I Get Virtual Unreality?
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Raytown, Missouri
Posts: 12,719
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#1 Worst Reason to Have a Kid:
Hunger
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"To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog |
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04-13-2006, 12:11 AM
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#7 | |
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I probably have to pee
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 29
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Quote:
...love that song! 
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04-13-2006, 06:07 AM
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#8 |
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still says videotape
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 26,813
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12) to keep Social Security afloat.
13) to show how good a ball player you could have been. 14) to prove that they pretty much raise themselves.
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If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis |
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04-12-2006, 11:57 PM
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#9 |
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Don't look at me!
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Singapore
Posts: 288
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"My daddy left home, when I was three..." -- A boy named sue, great example of reason(s) not to have kids...
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04-13-2006, 07:33 PM
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#10 |
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UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
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15) To prove to your parents it ain't that hard.
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04-15-2006, 11:02 AM
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#11 |
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~~Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.~~
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 6,828
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16: To fulfill your continuing desire to play dress up dolls.
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04-15-2006, 12:07 PM
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#12 |
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Don't look at me!
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Singapore
Posts: 288
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17) Because you wanted something to fit into those baby handknits.
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04-15-2006, 09:33 PM
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#13 |
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To shreds, you say?
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
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what about the old tried and true:
"it will help cement our rapidly crumbling marriage?" My fave is that you don't have to worry about getting her pregnant, (because she already is, for nine months anyway)
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The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs |
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04-23-2006, 01:07 PM
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#14 |
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Fellow-Commoner
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Posts: 10
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In order to attract the attention of girls. "Aww, such a cute baby. Is he/she/it yours?"
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"Time for time together, and depending on the weather, we'll either argue in your house or outside."~ "Greener" by Tally Hall |
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04-30-2006, 12:48 AM
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#15 |
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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The one I always hear from insecure young women.
"I just want someone to love me" Which confuses the hell out of me... don't they remember what they said to their parents from 11-19? |
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