Awesome Pick Up Lines.....

DucksNuts · 01-23-2008, 08:06 PM

NOT!!

« Did you fart, cause you blew me away.

« Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special.

« My Love for you is like diarrhea ... I can't hold it in.

« Do you have a library card, 'cause I want to check you out.

« Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them.

« If you and I were Squirrels, I'd store my nuts in your hole.

« You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

« Man - Fat Penguin! Woman - WHAT? Man - I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.

« I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed-rock.

« I can't find my puppy; can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

« Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

« If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.

« Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up

« If you were a McDonald's burger, I would call you McBeautiful....

« I know I can't have your virginity, but can I have the box it came in?

Add your own

Radar · 01-24-2008, 07:48 PM

Do you work for UPS? I swear I saw you checking out my package.

DucksNuts · 01-24-2008, 10:05 PM

Thanks Radar

the chirping was annoying.

This is my fav.."My Love for you is like diarrhea ... I can't hold it in"

I've been using it daily.

pourbill · 01-30-2008, 03:38 PM

I've got the F, the C, and the K, the only thing missing is you.

Shawnee123 · 01-30-2008, 03:48 PM

I like that dress. You know where it would look even better? Laying on the floor next to my bed.

Yeah, stupid, but I actually heard that one before.

Giant Salamander · 01-30-2008, 03:57 PM

Not clever so much as creepy.

"You smell like my mother. I like that."

"I'll give you twenty bucks now, and another twenty tomorrow morning. Thirty, if you call me Daddy."

"Get in the car. Now."

Cicero · 01-30-2008, 06:04 PM

Salamander- the last one doesn't seem much like a pick up line? In fact, the last two seem like lines for prostitutes?

lol@pourbill's.

Clodfobble · 01-30-2008, 06:59 PM

Actual lines used on me (and my cruel rejections in white):

"Do you think it's cheesy to ask a woman 'What's your sign?'"
"Do you have any idea how old I am?"

(I was 14. I wasn't as good a judge back then, but I swear to God he must have been at least 30.)

"Relationships just have so much baggage, you know? My friend and I have decided that I should just be a complete slut this semester."
"Sounds like your friend got the better end of the deal."

07-08-2010, 04:13 PM

Well me and my friends were bored one day and we started listing horrible pick up lines and well one of them cam up with this (do not mean to affend any one)

"Are you jewish cause your on fire"

I did find it funny but cruel at the same time.

ZenGum · 07-10-2010, 08:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ryu Nagita

Well me and my friends were bored one day and we started listing horrible pick up lines and well one of them cam up with this (do not mean to affend any one)

"Are you jewish cause your on fire"

I did find it funny but cruel at the same time.

Konnichiwa Ryu-san!

to the cellar.

That's extra funny, cause Sheldon is flaming, baby!

wolf · 10-29-2011, 11:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ryu Nagita

Well me and my friends were bored one day and we started listing horrible pick up lines and well one of them cam up with this (do not mean to affend any one)

"Are you jewish cause your on fire"

That would work a lot better if you substituted "A Buddhist Monk" for "Jewish."

Real true story ...

In the nerdiverse pickup lines are different.

Used successfully on me ...

"Compared to you and I most people have the IQ of a carrot."

toranokaze · 07-09-2010, 04:09 AM

That shirt looks good on you, but it would look even better stuffed into the neck of a vodka bottle and flung burning through our office building's window.

I'm kidnapping you now.

Put this under your tongue.

Do you have some Mexican in you? Do you want to?

I will love every bone in your body expeicly mine.

Face it you aren't going to do better tonight.

You won't regret this hell I doubt you will remember.

I can grant you a wish. If that wish is to be nailed in a public bathroom.

Want to be famous; I'm a serial killer.

Shawnee123 · 07-09-2010, 10:20 AM

"Excuse me, do you have the time?"

"yes, it's..."

"Good, I have the place."

Gromitspapa · 07-09-2010, 10:51 AM

"Let's get some pizza and fuck."

"What's the matter- don't like pizza?"

Sundae · 07-10-2010, 10:37 AM

Am thinking of trying these ones out down the local estate pub, whaddya reckon?
Classy chatup lines to try on men (mine own work):

If you were a bishop I would kiss your ring.

If you were a milkshake I'd suck you hard.

If you were a turkey I'd gobble you up.

If you were an airbed I'd pump you all night.

You're like a bellyfull of Bacardi Breezers - you get me all hot and make me want to take my knickers off.

You're like a couple of pints of Stella - you make me want to show off and then go and have a lie-down.

You're like a Vindaloo [very hot curry] - I bet I'll be up and down all night.

You're like incontenence - I'm unexpectedly all wet.

01-23-2008, 08:06 PM	#1
DucksNuts Bitchy Little Brat Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Queensland, Australia Posts: 5,067	Awesome Pick Up Lines..... NOT!! « Did you fart, cause you blew me away. « Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special. « My Love for you is like diarrhea ... I can't hold it in. « Do you have a library card, 'cause I want to check you out. « Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them. « If you and I were Squirrels, I'd store my nuts in your hole. « You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away. « Man - Fat Penguin! Woman - WHAT? Man - I just wanted to say something that would break the ice. « I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed-rock. « I can't find my puppy; can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room. « Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner. « If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon. « Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up « If you were a McDonald's burger, I would call you McBeautiful.... « I know I can't have your virginity, but can I have the box it came in? Add your own

01-24-2008, 07:48 PM	#2
Radar Constitutional Scholar Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Ocala, FL Posts: 4,006	Do you work for UPS? I swear I saw you checking out my package. __________________ "I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death." - George Carlin

01-30-2008, 03:38 PM	#4
pourbill Do-er of Deeds Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: washington, missouri Posts: 41	I've got the F, the C, and the K, the only thing missing is you. __________________ We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails

01-30-2008, 03:57 PM	#6
Giant Salamander Deity of Dogs Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 114	Not clever so much as creepy. "You smell like my mother. I like that." "I'll give you twenty bucks now, and another twenty tomorrow morning. Thirty, if you call me Daddy." "Get in the car. Now." __________________ random artstuff

01-30-2008, 06:04 PM	#7
Cicero Looking forward to open mic night. Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: New Mexico Posts: 5,148	Salamander- the last one doesn't seem much like a pick up line? In fact, the last two seem like lines for prostitutes? lol@pourbill's. __________________ Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.- Carl Jung

01-24-2008, 10:05 PM	#3
DucksNuts Bitchy Little Brat Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Queensland, Australia Posts: 5,067	Thanks Radar the chirping was annoying. This is my fav.."My Love for you is like diarrhea ... I can't hold it in" I've been using it daily.

01-30-2008, 03:48 PM	#5
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	I like that dress. You know where it would look even better? Laying on the floor next to my bed. Yeah, stupid, but I actually heard that one before.

01-30-2008, 06:59 PM	#8
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	Actual lines used on me (and my cruel rejections in white): "Do you think it's cheesy to ask a woman 'What's your sign?'" "Do you have any idea how old I am?" (I was 14. I wasn't as good a judge back then, but I swear to God he must have been at least 30.) "Relationships just have so much baggage, you know? My friend and I have decided that I should just be a complete slut this semester." "Sounds like your friend got the better end of the deal."

07-08-2010, 04:13 PM	#9
Ryu Nagita Guest Posts: n/a	Well me and my friends were bored one day and we started listing horrible pick up lines and well one of them cam up with this (do not mean to affend any one) "Are you jewish cause your on fire" I did find it funny but cruel at the same time.

07-09-2010, 04:09 AM	#12
toranokaze I'm still a jerk Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Little Mexico Posts: 1,817	That shirt looks good on you, but it would look even better stuffed into the neck of a vodka bottle and flung burning through our office building's window. I'm kidnapping you now. Put this under your tongue. Do you have some Mexican in you? Do you want to? I will love every bone in your body expeicly mine. Face it you aren't going to do better tonight. You won't regret this hell I doubt you will remember. I can grant you a wish. If that wish is to be nailed in a public bathroom. Want to be famous; I'm a serial killer.

07-09-2010, 10:20 AM	#13
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	"Excuse me, do you have the time?" "yes, it's..." "Good, I have the place." __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

07-09-2010, 10:51 AM	#14
Gromitspapa Knight of the Oval-Shaped Conference Table Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 377	"Let's get some pizza and fuck." "What's the matter- don't like pizza?"

07-10-2010, 10:37 AM	#15
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Am thinking of trying these ones out down the local estate pub, whaddya reckon? Classy chatup lines to try on men (mine own work): If you were a bishop I would kiss your ring. If you were a milkshake I'd suck you hard. If you were a turkey I'd gobble you up. If you were an airbed I'd pump you all night. You're like a bellyfull of Bacardi Breezers - you get me all hot and make me want to take my knickers off. You're like a couple of pints of Stella - you make me want to show off and then go and have a lie-down. You're like a Vindaloo [very hot curry] - I bet I'll be up and down all night. You're like incontenence - I'm unexpectedly all wet.

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