Banana Akhbar!

xoxoxoBruce · 07-11-2010, 11:34 AM

Quote:

The People's Daily, a newspaper produced by China's ruling communist party, has either been hilariously pranked or has out-reported every news outlet in Afghanistan to secure the scoop of the century. The outlet today reports that the Taliban in Afghanistan is "training monkeys to use weapons to attack American troops." After 16 years of war and nine years of battling the U.S., the Islamist insurgents have decided to arm monkeys with "AK-47 rifles and Bren light machine guns in the Waziristan tribal region near the border between Pakistan and Afghanistan."

The Chinese author, who apparently believes that PETA is more influential than the 31 percent of Americans who oppose the Afghan war, tries to explain what's happening. "Analysts believe that apart from using 'monkey killers' to attack the American troops, the Taliban also sought to arouse Western animal protectionists to pressure their governments to withdraw troops from Afghanistan."

I think somebody is jerking The People's Daily's chain.

Trilby · 07-11-2010, 11:57 AM

at least the troops will see the enemy coming.

Undertoad · 07-11-2010, 12:04 PM

All we have to do is airdrop a load of large frogs onto the battlefield and the enemy will be busy butt-ƒucking them in the mouth.

I suspect this will work on the human taliban too

monster · 07-12-2010, 10:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad

All we have to do is airdrop a load of large frogs onto the battlefield and the enemy will be busy butt-ƒucking them in the mouth.

I suspect this will work on the human taliban too

But they were promised virgin frogs in the afterlife -isn't that worth waiting for?

xoxoxoBruce · 07-12-2010, 10:23 AM

I really hadn't noticed much difference, so I wouldn't wait.

dmg1969 · 07-12-2010, 10:59 AM

Sure...they LOOK harmless enough. Now I have to wonder how many monkeys in zoos across the country are actually part of Al-Qaeda sleeper cells....

Who remembers the show BJ and the Bear? Was Bear really learning to drive a semi to transport a truck bomb by watching BJ?

wanderer · 07-12-2010, 11:34 AM

Next, they will be training monkeys to hi-jack the aeroplanes!
Ahahahaha! Go get some bananas. We have war coming up baby!

Trilby · 07-11-2010, 12:12 PM

I thought you were talking about the human taliban...

classicman · 07-11-2010, 12:12 PM

bwahahahahhahaaaaaaa

Shit! You owe me a new keyboard.

ZenGum · 07-12-2010, 06:19 AM

LOLZ.

It could be the same Chinese paper, or maybe not, but a few years back one Chinese paper echoed - in all seriousness - a story from The Onion that the US government was threatening to relocate out of Washington unless the city built them a new stadium with retracting dome roof.

Training monkeys with guns, eh? How many training accidents are they going to have before they are combat ready?
And are there really that many monkeys in Afghanistan? In fact, are there any? I don't think so.

Trilby · 07-12-2010, 06:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZenGum

And are there really that many monkeys in Afghanistan?

There's plenty of monkeys allright.

It's just that they're all high on the smack.

lumberjim · 07-12-2010, 09:15 AM

johnny chimpo is from Afghanistan

jinx · 07-12-2010, 10:06 AM

It's Afghanistanimation!

Shawnee123 · 07-12-2010, 11:27 AM

Talibonobo

Trilby · 07-12-2010, 12:02 PM

It's clearly marked on that monkey's shirt that Here Comes Trouble!

How much more of a warning do you need?

07-11-2010, 11:57 AM	#2
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	at least the troops will see the enemy coming. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

07-12-2010, 10:23 AM	#5
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	I really hadn't noticed much difference, so I wouldn't wait. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

07-12-2010, 10:59 AM	#6
dmg1969 I got nothing Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Central PA Posts: 486	Sure...they LOOK harmless enough. Now I have to wonder how many monkeys in zoos across the country are actually part of Al-Qaeda sleeper cells.... Who remembers the show BJ and the Bear? Was Bear really learning to drive a semi to transport a truck bomb by watching BJ? __________________ Void where prohibited. Your results may vary. Not intended for resale. Do not remove tag. Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.

07-12-2010, 11:34 AM	#7
wanderer Master of the Domain Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 225	Next, they will be training monkeys to hi-jack the aeroplanes! Ahahahaha! Go get some bananas. We have war coming up baby! __________________ smoke on the water

07-11-2010, 12:12 PM	#8
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	I thought you were talking about the human taliban... __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

07-11-2010, 12:04 PM	#3
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	All we have to do is airdrop a load of large frogs onto the battlefield and the enemy will be busy butt-ƒucking them in the mouth. I suspect this will work on the human taliban too

07-11-2010, 12:12 PM	#9
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	bwahahahahhahaaaaaaa Shit! You owe me a new keyboard. __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

07-12-2010, 06:19 AM	#10
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	LOLZ. It could be the same Chinese paper, or maybe not, but a few years back one Chinese paper echoed - in all seriousness - a story from The Onion that the US government was threatening to relocate out of Washington unless the city built them a new stadium with retracting dome roof. Training monkeys with guns, eh? How many training accidents are they going to have before they are combat ready? And are there really that many monkeys in Afghanistan? In fact, are there any? I don't think so. __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

07-12-2010, 09:15 AM	#12
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	johnny chimpo is from Afghanistan __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

07-12-2010, 10:06 AM	#13
jinx Come on, cat. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: general vicinity of Philadelphia area Posts: 7,013	It's Afghanistanimation! __________________ Crying won't help you, praying won't do you no good.

07-12-2010, 11:27 AM	#14
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Talibonobo __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

07-12-2010, 12:02 PM	#15
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	It's clearly marked on that monkey's shirt that Here Comes Trouble! How much more of a warning do you need? __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

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