Afraid of love??...or unloveable???

pensive pam · 04-23-2011, 07:21 PM

I do not know whether I am afraid of love, and therefore make an excuse to make me believe that I am unloveable...so I can not get involved in love.

All of us know that everybody always laughs at love, but I can not help that they want to be proven wrong...perhaps like me?? So do I view myself of being afraid of that 'special' bond, or do I hide behind a histrionic personality??? But then again, I would not be me if I did not do it, and act in that manner.

I am the type of girl that will walk away from you, but yet turn around after you are gone...and secretly follow you back home. And you will wonder why I left you. But I can not tell you because I do not know myself...

At times, I feel that the only reason someone would want me is because they know I will leave them. It's in my nature to do so...
And at times, I wonder who I have become, and if things will ever get better...

What are your thoughts,???
Pam.

DanaC · 04-23-2011, 07:27 PM

I think...*thinks* what do I think? There was definately something that I was thinking about then when you asked us what we think. I think it was something to do with parsley.

No wait, sorry it was about racism.

morethanpretty · 04-23-2011, 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pensive pam

I am the type of girl that will walk away from you, but yet turn around after you are gone...and secretly follow you back home. And you will wonder why I left you.
What are your thoughts,???
Pam.

A lot of stalkers have that same issue. You should check out http://www.nimh.nih.gov/index.shtml. I gave that link to my last stalker and he read all about this thing called "Schizophrenia" and thought it sounded interesting. He called and they got him into a really nice place that really taught him how to love correctly and not stalkerishly. The website also talks about this thing called "suicide" I think, if I recall correctly, that you wanted to know about that in one of the other threads.

Sincerely,

MTP

pensive pam · 04-23-2011, 07:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by morethanpretty

A lot of stalkers have that same issue. You should check out http://www.nimh.nih.gov/index.shtml. I gave that link to my last stalker and he read all about this thing called "Schizophrenia" and thought it sounded interesting. He called and they got him into a really nice place that really taught him how to love correctly and not stalkerishly. The website also talks about this thing called "suicide" I think, if I recall correctly, that you wanted to know about that in one of the other threads.

Sincerely,

MTP

I appreciate the link. My spell check is ON now! Yes, I did post about suicide. Yet I will never do it. I am too vane to do it, and I would miss my family and NY. I would also fear messing it up, and not getting the job done;....as I fail at most things. I did scare a lot of people by posting such stuff. I do not want to do it. But yes, I am afraid to walk over the Brooklyn bridge because I do fear I may jump. Yet, I do not know why.

Just very lost,
Pam.

DanaC · 04-23-2011, 07:36 PM

Y'know I can totally relate to that. This one time, at Band Camp, I was walking over this little bridge and just without warning, i knew I was going to jump off.

pensive pam · 04-23-2011, 07:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanaC

Y'know I can totally relate to that. This one time, at Band Camp, I was walking over this little bridge and just without warning, i knew I was going to jump off.

I enjoy your humor. I view the british people are being a dry sense of humor, but I guess I can adjust. that is funny! I have been more cheerful today...have you noticed??!!! New medication is working!!

Pam!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

morethanpretty · 04-23-2011, 07:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanaC

Y'know I can totally relate to that. This one time, at Band Camp, I was walking over this little bridge and just without warning, i knew I was going to jump off.

I to have a story about Band Camp, it is of a different nature though. I am not sure I should post about it because I was kicked out and unfairly accused of "sexual harassment." I do not sexually harass and the people there made me very angry for accusing me of such an awful thing.

pensive pam · 04-23-2011, 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by morethanpretty

I to have a story about Band Camp, it is of a different nature though. I am not sure I should post about it because I was kicked out and unfairly accused of "sexual harassment." I do not sexually harass and the people there made me very angry for accusing me of such an awful thing.

Please tell us your story. We are all safe in here. this is our 'safe haven.' and mr. Undertoad should be applauded for creating this site. I wish we could all meet up and have a party. I am happy tonight!!!!!

Pam!!!
Pam!!!
Pam!!!

DanaC · 04-23-2011, 07:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by morethanpretty

I to have a story about Band Camp, it is of a different nature though. I am not sure I should post about it because I was kicked out and unfairly accused of "sexual harassment." I do not sexually harass and the people there made me very angry for accusing me of such an awful thing.

Some people are cruel and jealous and don't know how to have fun and be good friends. I too was once accused of sexual harrassment. But they agreed not to take it to the management as long as I gave them a blowjob.

pensive pam · 04-23-2011, 07:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanaC

Some people are cruel and jealous and don't know how to have fun and be good friends. I too was once accused of sexual harrassment. But they agreed not to take it to the management as long as I gave them a blowjob.

Oh my!!

Pam.

morethanpretty · 04-23-2011, 07:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanaC

Some people are cruel and jealous and don't know how to have fun and be good friends. I too was once accused of sexual harrassment. But they agreed not to take it to the management as long as I gave them a blowjob.

You just had to give a blowjob? I got jipped!

pensive pam · 04-23-2011, 08:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by morethanpretty

You just had to give a blowjob? I got jipped!

I received your private message. Thank you! Do not worries about the haters. not much bothers me...so I do not care. And I do not vote in 'polls.' It is just not my nature...

I hope you have fun tonight!! I may go out as well. I am not sure yet... but I am happy tongith, so I might!!! The new pills are working...for now.

Your friend,
Pam.

Big Sarge · 04-23-2011, 08:05 PM

mtp and pp are pming now?

pensive pam · 04-23-2011, 10:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Sarge

mtp and pp are pming now?

Yes. we did. and now I hear of this 'secret society' on here; which i am not a part of. Is that fair?? I want membership as well, yet I seemed to be shunned. although i am upset i will not bother mr. undertaod with such detail. i am not sure if what i am being told is true by the other posters... wine...pills...again. if you did not want me to join the 'secret socity' here then why did you tease me with a 'private room' i am getting more durnk and more MAD!!!!!

tell me the truth,
Pam.

Sundae · 04-24-2011, 05:29 AM

We were all asked to approve you for the forum-within-a-forum.
That's usual procedure anyway, it's not up to UT solely because he doesn't like to make tough decisions - this is partly why he has two Moderators (did you even know about that?)

Anyway, it only takes a small percentage of "no" votes to keep someone out, because otherwise it might as well be the main board.

I for one voted no and am not ashamed of it.
You've come here, jumped all over the board talking only about yourself, haven't contributed a thing apart form boring details of your own life and you've been both intolerably annoying and rude to long term Dwellars.

You can ask for a review after a year.
Keep your fingers crossed I'll be on holiday. You might stand more of a chance then.

Sniff my fingers,
Ms Sundae

04-23-2011, 07:21 PM	#1
pensive pam Banned Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Far away... Posts: 538	Afraid of love??...or unloveable??? I do not know whether I am afraid of love, and therefore make an excuse to make me believe that I am unloveable...so I can not get involved in love. All of us know that everybody always laughs at love, but I can not help that they want to be proven wrong...perhaps like me?? So do I view myself of being afraid of that 'special' bond, or do I hide behind a histrionic personality??? But then again, I would not be me if I did not do it, and act in that manner. I am the type of girl that will walk away from you, but yet turn around after you are gone...and secretly follow you back home. And you will wonder why I left you. But I can not tell you because I do not know myself... At times, I feel that the only reason someone would want me is because they know I will leave them. It's in my nature to do so... And at times, I wonder who I have become, and if things will ever get better... What are your thoughts,??? Pam.

04-23-2011, 08:05 PM	#13
Big Sarge Werepandas - lurking in your shadows Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: In the Deep South Posts: 3,408	mtp and pp are pming now? __________________ Give a man a match, & he'll be warm for 20 seconds. But toss that man a white phosphorus grenade and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

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04-24-2011, 05:29 AM	#15
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	We were all asked to approve you for the forum-within-a-forum. That's usual procedure anyway, it's not up to UT solely because he doesn't like to make tough decisions - this is partly why he has two Moderators (did you even know about that?) Anyway, it only takes a small percentage of "no" votes to keep someone out, because otherwise it might as well be the main board. I for one voted no and am not ashamed of it. You've come here, jumped all over the board talking only about yourself, haven't contributed a thing apart form boring details of your own life and you've been both intolerably annoying and rude to long term Dwellars. You can ask for a review after a year. Keep your fingers crossed I'll be on holiday. You might stand more of a chance then. Sniff my fingers, Ms Sundae

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