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05-09-2007, 04:14 AM
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#1 |
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Violator of Customs
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 49
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Bad-Ass Quotient System (measure someone's bad-assness)
I love it when people have "who would win in a fight" conversations. You know the kind - "Who would win in a fight between Robocop and the Terminator?" or "Who would win a fight between Peewee Herman and Gilligan?" Etc...
But something that is always laking in those conversations is a proper, quantifiable, measurement of how much of a "bad-ass" someone or something is. Toward that end - here is Suncrafter's BAQ (Bad Ass Quotient) System: Fire Ant -------------------------------------------- BAQ = 1 Sewer Rat ----------------------------------------- BAQ = 10 Chiwawa ------------------------------------------- BAQ = 100 Drunk Redneck armed with a pool cue ---------- BAQ = 1,000 Green Beret armed with a machete -------------- BAQ = 10,000 Silverback Gorilla ----------------------------------- BAQ = 100,000 Black Rhino ------------------------------------------ BAQ = 1,000,000 Tyrannosaurus Rex ---------------------------------- BAQ = 10,000,000 It would take about 10 fire ants to evenly fight 1 sewer rat. It would take about 10 sewer rats to evenly fight 1 Chiwawa. It would take about 10 Chiwawas to evenly fight 1 drunk redneck armed with a pool cue. ETC... So, for example, lets say that 250 Green Berets armed with machetes got into a fight with 2 Black Rhinos... who would win? The 250 Green Berets would have a combined BAQ of 2,500,000 while the 2 Black Rhinos would have a combined BAQ of only 2,000,000 - so the Green Berets would win. Now we have a scale on which we can use to measure the "Bad-a**ness" of almost anyone or anything! Here are just a few examples: Butterfly ================================================= 0 BAQ Honey Bee =============================================== 1 BAQ Fire Ant ------------------------------------------------------------- 1 BAQ Wasp =================================================== 3 BAQ Hermit Crab =============================================== 4 BAQ Smurf =================================================== 5 BAQ Gerbil =================================================== 5 BAQ Tarantula ================================================= 7 BAQ Sewer Rat ---------------------------------------------------------- 10 BAQ Rabbit ================================================== 35 BAQ Vampire Bat ============================================== 49 BAQ Rooster (unarmed) ========================================== 79 BAQ Squirrel ================================================== 81 BAQ House Cat ================================================ 88 BAQ Lobster ================================================== 90 BAQ Chiwawa ---------------------------------------------------- 100 BAQ Rooster (armed with cock-fighting spurs) ========================== 102 BAQ Three Year Old Girl ========================================= 115 BAQ Kermit the Frog ============================================ 167 BAQ Barny the Dinosaur ========================================== 202 BAQ Possum ================================================== 287 BAQ Munchkin - from "Wizard of Oz" ================================= 289 BAQ Gilligan =================================================== 306 BAQ Oompa Loompa - from "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" ============== 308 BAQ Badger =================================================== 331 BAQ Cookie Monster ============================================= 410 BAQ Barn Owl ================================================== 421 BAQ Peewee Herman ============================================= 422 BAQ 3PCO - from "Star Wars" ======================================= 449 BAQ Crack Whore ================================================ 550 BAQ Zombie ==================================================== 749 BAQ Average Human ============================================== 755 BAQ Dr. Evil - from Austen Powers movies (unarmed) ======================= 804 BAQ Booger - from "Revenge of the Nerds" =============================== 817 BAQ Woopi Goldburge ============================================= 831 BAQ Howard Stern ================================================ 852 BAQ Hawkeye Pierce - from the tv show "M.A.S.H." ======================== 856 BAQ Rush Limbaugh =============================================== 998 BAQ Drunk Redneck armed with a pool cue ---------------------- 1,000 BAQ George W. Bush ============================================= 1,105 BAQ Willy Wonka (armed with cane) =================================== 1,117 BAQ Conan O'Brien =============================================== 1,145 BAQ Ferris Bueller - from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" ========================= 1,290 BAQ Jeffrey Dahmer =============================================== 1,301 BAQ Tiger Woods (armed with golf club) ================================= 1,439 BAQ Jack Sparrow - from "Pirates of the Caribbean" (unarmed) ================= 1,685 BAQ Gremlin - from the movie "Gremlins" ================================ 1,696 BAQ Stalin ====================================================== 1,985 BAQ Pimp ====================================================== 1,990 BAQ Wolf ======================================================= 2,144 BAQ Boa Constrictor =============================================== 2,312 BAQ Chimp ====================================================== 2,499 BAQ Eskimo Fisherman (armed with spear) =============================== 2,590 BAQ Adolf Hitler =================================================== 2,665 BAQ Abraham Lincoln =============================================== 2,810 BAQ King Cobra =================================================== 2,964BAQ OJ Simpson (with glove and knife) =================================== 3,100 BAQ Virgil Tibbs - from "In the Heat of the Night" ============================= 3,148 BAQ Wolverine - the animal ============================================ 3,345 BAQ Tony Montana - from "Scarface" (unarmed) ============================= 3,507 BAQ R2D2 - from "Star Wars" ========================================== 3,965 BAQ Matador (armed with red cape and lance) ============================== 3,989 BAQ Green Beret (unarmed) =========================================== 4,380 BAQ Lara Croft (unarmed) ============================================= 4,385 BAQ Indiana Jones (unarmed) ========================================== 4,503 BAQ Mad Max - from "Road Warrior" (unarmed) ============================= 5,082 BAQ Snake Plissken from "Escape from New York" (unarmed) ================== 6,010 BAQ Hannibal Lector ================================================ 6,047 BAQ Orc Soldier - from "Lord of the Rings" (armed with sword) =================== 7,093 BAQ Sumo Wrestler ================================================= 7,810 BAQ New York City Fire Fighter (armed with ax) ============================= 7,896 BAQ Mike Tyson =================================================== 7,961 BAQ Rocky Balboa - from the movie "Rocky" =============================== 8,501 BAQ B.A. Baracus - from the "A-Team" (unarmed) =========================== 8,627 BAQ Chuck Norris ================================================== 8,812 BAQ The rest of the list can be found here: http://www.normandcompany.com/INDEX/BAQ.html Questions for all of you... 1) What do you think your own BAQ is? (Be honest.) 2) Who or what should I add to the above list. 3) Do you think I have too much time on my hands? |
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05-09-2007, 06:24 AM
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#2 | |
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Bitchy Little Brat
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Queensland, Australia
Posts: 5,067
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05-09-2007, 10:38 AM
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#3 | |
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Makes some feel uncomfortable
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 10,346
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 "I'm certainly free, nay compelled, to spread the gospel of Spex. " - xoxoxoBruce
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05-09-2007, 10:51 AM
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#4 |
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why so serious
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,712
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on Mike Tyson is it with or without his teeth?
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06-15-2007, 01:53 AM
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#5 | |
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lobber of scimitars
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Phila Burbs
Posts: 20,774
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  wolf eht htiw og"Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis |
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05-09-2007, 09:28 AM
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#6 | |
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...
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 8,360
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Quote:
oh, you betcha! 10 sewer rats against 1 chihuahua? Are you crazy? They'd have that thing stripped to the bone in under 20 seconds.
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"Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!" |
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05-09-2007, 10:02 AM
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#7 |
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why so serious
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,712
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Not sure where these would fit in but how about -
Neo - Matrix or even the bad guy V - Vendetta (same guy) Wyatt Earp - Tombstone Doc Holiday - Tombstone (yes you do seem to have some considerable time on your hands) 
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06-14-2007, 04:58 PM
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#8 | |
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Violator of Customs
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 49
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I have never seen Vendetta nor Tombstone. Still Wyatt Earp and Doc Holiday might be good to add. What should I make their BAQ number? |
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06-14-2007, 05:13 PM
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#9 |
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why so serious
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,712
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hmmm
neo before training & outside the matrix - is a wuss after not so bad V - Vendetta - kicks a-- Doc Holiday - is awesome - at least between Indiana & Mad Max Wyatt Earp - is as clever - maybe after "Snake" same guy (you should watch Tombstone) |
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05-09-2007, 03:05 PM
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#10 |
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- Kavkaz United -
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 613
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yea the sewer rat chiwawa thing is way off if you ask me, i honestly think, depending on the type of sewer rat, it would be a good one on one fight. also you should replace T-Rex with Johnny Cash.
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"Life's a bitch but God forbid the bitch divorce me..." |
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05-09-2007, 03:10 PM
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#11 |
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I can hear my ears
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
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my cock should be there just below Lara Croft.
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This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan |
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05-09-2007, 03:19 PM
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#12 |
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...
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 8,360
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oh, you wish!
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"Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!" |
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05-09-2007, 10:28 PM
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#13 |
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When Do I Get Virtual Unreality?
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Raytown, Missouri
Posts: 12,719
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You've omitted things such as volcanoes, hurricanes, earthquakes, asteroids and Divine Retribution.
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"To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog |
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05-10-2007, 11:07 AM
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#14 | |
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I can hear my ears
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
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Quote:
__________________
This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan |
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05-09-2007, 10:48 PM
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#15 |
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LONG LIVE KING ZIPPY! per Feetz
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 7,661
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Originally Posted by DucksNuts View Post
Wolf is WAAAAAAY Bad Arser than that!!! Armed, or unarmed? I don't think it would matter , well unless you ripped her arms off Black Knight style , but THAT would just PISS her OFF BAD !!!!!!!
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"Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. " Brother Dave Gardner |
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