Steven Wrightisms

Nothing But Net · 05-21-2002, 10:47 PM

Is a 'Necessary Evil' morally inferior to a 'Unnecessary Good'?

What is the sound of three hands clapping?

Is the word 'Payload' synonymous with the term 'Money Shot'?

If the Pope is infallable, why doesn't he play the Lottery?

Why do they have 'Guest Stars' in movies?

Feel free to add on...

sypher · 05-22-2002, 10:12 AM

Which steve wright do you mean? The UK DJ?

I like those.

Bitman · 05-23-2002, 06:09 PM

Is a 'Necessary Evil' morally inferior to a 'Unnecessary Good'?

Yes.

What is the sound of three hands clapping?

The noise is between that of one pair and two pairs of hands clapping.

Is the word 'Payload' synonymous with the term 'Money Shot'?

No.

If the Pope is infallable, why doesn't he play the Lottery?

"God doesn't play dice."

Why do they have 'Guest Stars' in movies?

If there's a sequel, that person won't be in it.

--
Glad I could help.

Nic Name · 05-23-2002, 06:50 PM

Quote:

If the Pope is infallable, why doesn't he play the Lottery?

"God doesn't play dice."

Actually lotteries don't involve dice.

And infallible doesn't mean prescient.

Doesn't infallable (sic) mean can't fall down?

warch · 05-24-2002, 01:23 PM

Forgive if not a direct quote but a favorite:

"They said they served breakfast anytime, so I ordered French toast during the renaissance."

Bitman · 05-24-2002, 07:29 PM

They responded, "It'll be ready when you arrive."

Bitman · 05-24-2002, 07:40 PM

It's spelled infallible, and defined thusly. One definition caught my eye:

entirely exempt from liability to mistake

Exempt from liability is not at all like unable to err. Most of the definitions mean "unable to err", though.

Nic Name · 05-24-2002, 07:51 PM

Quote:

entirely exempt from liability to mistake

is not the same as

entirely exempt from liability for mistakes

which may be how you interpreted it.

It means not liable (likely) to make a mistake, in the definition of infallible.

Nothing But Net · 05-24-2002, 08:11 PM

Chill out, dudes!

Back on topic:

<b>Judas stiffed the waiter at the Last Supper.

The people who inhabited Easter Island were not Christians.

Toilets on the Equator do not flush.

A man-like beast called the Sasquatch exists. I work with him.</b>

These are original. Have fun, guys!

:p

Nic Name · 05-24-2002, 08:24 PM

OK, desperately trying to get back on topic ...

Quote:

What's another word for Thesaurus? -- Steven Wright

Quote:

If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know? -- Steven Wright

I'm trying, NBN ... :p

Nothing But Net · 05-24-2002, 08:31 PM

We've all heard his stuff. What we want here is ORIGINAL one-liners.

Nothing But Net · 05-26-2002, 07:38 PM

Malted Milk Balls contain Malt and Milk, but not Balls. How can they get away with that?

Bitman · 06-03-2002, 06:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Nothing But Net
Malted Milk Balls contain Malt and Milk, but not Balls. How can they get away with that?

Get away with what? Nobody claimed they contained balls, only that they were shaped like balls. Which they are.

LordSludge · 06-03-2002, 06:28 PM

Not original, but I dunno who to credit:
If a man speaks in the woods, and a woman isn't around to hear him, is he still wrong?

MaggieL · 06-03-2002, 07:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by LordSludge
Not original, but I dunno who to credit:
If a man speaks in the woods, and a woman isn't around to hear him, is he still wrong?

Of course. A man need not speak to be wrong. :-)

05-21-2002, 10:47 PM	#1
Nothing But Net Professor Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Spring, Texas Posts: 1,481	Steven Wrightisms Is a 'Necessary Evil' morally inferior to a 'Unnecessary Good'? What is the sound of three hands clapping? Is the word 'Payload' synonymous with the term 'Money Shot'? If the Pope is infallable, why doesn't he play the Lottery? Why do they have 'Guest Stars' in movies? Feel free to add on... Last edited by Nothing But Net; 05-21-2002 at 10:50 PM.

05-22-2002, 10:12 AM	#2
sypher Sibling of the Commonweal Join Date: May 2002 Location: England Posts: 16	Ha Ha Which steve wright do you mean? The UK DJ? I like those. __________________ Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality. -- Jules de Gaultier

05-23-2002, 06:09 PM	#3
Bitman cellar smellar Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: californy, baby! Posts: 403	Re: Steven Wrightisms Is a 'Necessary Evil' morally inferior to a 'Unnecessary Good'? Yes. What is the sound of three hands clapping? The noise is between that of one pair and two pairs of hands clapping. Is the word 'Payload' synonymous with the term 'Money Shot'? No. If the Pope is infallable, why doesn't he play the Lottery? "God doesn't play dice." Why do they have 'Guest Stars' in movies? If there's a sequel, that person won't be in it. -- Glad I could help.

05-24-2002, 08:11 PM	#9
Nothing But Net Professor Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Spring, Texas Posts: 1,481	Damn! Try to start something fun and incite a debate on semantics Chill out, dudes! Back on topic: <b>Judas stiffed the waiter at the Last Supper. The people who inhabited Easter Island were not Christians. Toilets on the Equator do not flush. A man-like beast called the Sasquatch exists. I work with him.</b> These are original. Have fun, guys! :p

05-24-2002, 08:31 PM	#11
Nothing But Net Professor Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Spring, Texas Posts: 1,481	You still don't get it, Nic We've all heard his stuff. What we want here is ORIGINAL one-liners.

05-24-2002, 01:23 PM	#5
warch lurkin old school Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Minnesota Posts: 2,796	Forgive if not a direct quote but a favorite: "They said they served breakfast anytime, so I ordered French toast during the renaissance."

05-24-2002, 07:29 PM	#6
Bitman cellar smellar Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: californy, baby! Posts: 403	They responded, "It'll be ready when you arrive."

05-24-2002, 07:40 PM	#7
Bitman cellar smellar Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: californy, baby! Posts: 403	It's spelled infallible, and defined thusly. One definition caught my eye: entirely exempt from liability to mistake Exempt from liability is not at all like unable to err. Most of the definitions mean "unable to err", though.

05-26-2002, 07:38 PM	#12
Nothing But Net Professor Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Spring, Texas Posts: 1,481	Malted Milk Balls contain Malt and Milk, but not Balls. How can they get away with that?

06-03-2002, 06:28 PM	#14
LordSludge Geek Join Date: May 2002 Location: Greenville, SC Posts: 76	Not original, but I dunno who to credit: If a man speaks in the woods, and a woman isn't around to hear him, is he still wrong? __________________ "Fasten your seatbelt. I saw something in a cartoon once that I want to try."

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