Gentlemen, meet your replacement

BrianR · 07-13-2002, 03:31 PM

This is truly a wild machine (or so I'm told). Every woman I've polled who has tried one swears that as soon as they make one that also mows the lawn, her man is GONE!

I forget who asked me about machines that do the "work" for us, but here they are

Brian

Nic Name · 07-13-2002, 05:54 PM

I'm sure there's a place for these things. I just don't think I'd put one in the cellar.

Undertoad · 07-13-2002, 07:25 PM

(shrug) It does nothing for me, but maybe it will stimulate conversation.

MaggieL · 07-13-2002, 08:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Undertoad
(shrug) It does nothing for me, but maybe it will stimulate conversation.

At the very least.

Tony, it's not supposed to do anything for you. Unless there's a side of you you've been keeping quiet about all these years.

Can't say I've seen any of these devices as an animated GIF before. The motion isn't quite what I would have in mind, but then even at my advanced age I have limited experience in some aspects of this. I'm one of the few Dwellars who's been a virgin more than once

I got the impression he other gadget these folks make has more of a....how shall I say it?...."axial motion"? Rather more like a piston than whatever you would call that there pot-stirring action.

It is intriguing though....

As for replacing men, there's already no men in this household and we mow our own lawn, so that saves a step. But there are things men can do that this gadget can't.

Some of those things are actually desirable. Not all of them, but some of them.

NIc, dunno about you, but I don't keep sex toys in the cellar. Brian, OTOH, is prolly another story.

SteveDallas · 07-13-2002, 10:42 PM

sex toys in the cellar???

Wait, wait... let me figure this out... is somebody supposed to post and say that they used to have one of these, but they didn't like it, so they threw it out the back door?

BrianR · 07-13-2002, 11:12 PM

You never know, Maggie

I keep my sex toys in the closet, I don't have a cellar. Appropriate, neh?

And lastly, the device was introduced to the attendees at a Tasteful Treasures party as a replacement for men by a woman whose husband is away serving his country for six months. She's threatening to move him into the spare bedroom upon his return. Oh yeah, he doesn't yet know about this particular purchase. I'm sure she's really kidding, but then again the dreamy look on the volunteer tester's face told a somewhat different story. After three (I counted) orgasms in fifteen minutes, she had to be helped up and into a handy futon. No comment as to whether or not there was a male volunteer, but I know the answer.

The Sybian pictured has both a vibrating motion as well as a rotating motion, via separate controls. There's even an attachment for two females at once. I'm told that the sensations are best when a partner plays with the control box.

You have to click on the link if you prefer a pistoning motion.

Note to anyone planning a purchase...the Sybian shown sells for $1345. No, I didn't miss a decimal, That's one thousand, three hundred forty five dollars. Plus S&H. Plus sales tax.
Financing is available through a third party financier. If anyone has one they want to unload through the back door, hand it over! I can make a LOT of friends with it.

I've seen it in use and even seen rides raffled off. It does stimulate men, although women are the intended users.
There is also a male version for sale at the Sybian website . I'll let you see that one for yourself. It's not cheap either. But in the long run they tend to be cheaper than a real woman. Figuring in sales, new shoes, various accessories than women seem to require on a regular basis, normal female maintenance and not even going into the divorce costs that may or may not present themselves, it tends to be cheaper to just get a reliable machine. They're just not much fun to cuddle with after.

Brian the Kinky

Tobiasly · 07-13-2002, 11:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BrianR
If anyone has one they want to unload through the back door,

Freudian slip? Admit it Brian, you were the secret male volunteer!

BrianR · 07-14-2002, 02:36 PM

Go on, torture me! I won't talk. You can't make me! Really. Torture me and let me prove I won't talk!
I'll never tell! Nyah nyah nyah!

What's a Freudian slip anyway? Are you callin me a crossdresser? I prefer soft nighties to slips anyway.

Ooops! I shouldn't have told you that...:p

Brian

juju · 07-14-2002, 05:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by MaggieL

As for replacing men, there's already no men in this household and we mow our own lawn,

... so to speak...

MaggieL · 07-14-2002, 09:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by juju

... so to speak...

I beg your pardon?

juju · 07-14-2002, 11:56 PM

Sorry.. sometimes I just can't resist. I will try to restrain myself in the future. :)

That Guy · 07-15-2002, 12:07 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by juju
restrain myself in the future.

Long weekend ahead, huh?

Nothing But Net · 07-15-2002, 12:42 AM

Sure, it can provide sexual pleasure that no man could possibly top, but who are you gonna call when the dyke is leaking?

MaggieL · 07-15-2002, 09:02 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Nothing But Net
Sure, it can provide sexual pleasure that no man could possibly top, but who are you gonna call when the dyke is leaking?

"Another dyke" is the usual answer.

jaguar · 07-17-2002, 03:04 AM

sexual innuendo overload..
Meh. Half the fun of sex is before and after, i'm not feeling threatened yet.

maggie that last comment reminded me of this song

07-13-2002, 03:31 PM	#1
BrianR Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 3,338	Gentlemen, meet your replacement This is truly a wild machine (or so I'm told). Every woman I've polled who has tried one swears that as soon as they make one that also mows the lawn, her man is GONE! I forget who asked me about machines that do the "work" for us, but here they are Brian Attached Images __________________ Never be afraid to tell the world who you are. -- Anonymous

07-13-2002, 11:12 PM	#6
BrianR Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 3,338	You never know, Maggie I keep my sex toys in the closet, I don't have a cellar. Appropriate, neh? And lastly, the device was introduced to the attendees at a Tasteful Treasures party as a replacement for men by a woman whose husband is away serving his country for six months. She's threatening to move him into the spare bedroom upon his return. Oh yeah, he doesn't yet know about this particular purchase. I'm sure she's really kidding, but then again the dreamy look on the volunteer tester's face told a somewhat different story. After three (I counted) orgasms in fifteen minutes, she had to be helped up and into a handy futon. No comment as to whether or not there was a male volunteer, but I know the answer. The Sybian pictured has both a vibrating motion as well as a rotating motion, via separate controls. There's even an attachment for two females at once. I'm told that the sensations are best when a partner plays with the control box. You have to click on the link if you prefer a pistoning motion. Note to anyone planning a purchase...the Sybian shown sells for $1345. No, I didn't miss a decimal, That's one thousand, three hundred forty five dollars. Plus S&H. Plus sales tax. Financing is available through a third party financier. If anyone has one they want to unload through the back door, hand it over! I can make a LOT of friends with it. I've seen it in use and even seen rides raffled off. It does stimulate men, although women are the intended users. There is also a male version for sale at the Sybian website . I'll let you see that one for yourself. It's not cheap either. But in the long run they tend to be cheaper than a real woman. Figuring in sales, new shoes, various accessories than women seem to require on a regular basis, normal female maintenance and not even going into the divorce costs that may or may not present themselves, it tends to be cheaper to just get a reliable machine. They're just not much fun to cuddle with after. Brian the Kinky __________________ Never be afraid to tell the world who you are. -- Anonymous Last edited by BrianR; 07-13-2002 at 11:26 PM.

07-14-2002, 02:36 PM	#8
BrianR Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 3,338	I ain't talking! Go on, torture me! I won't talk. You can't make me! Really. Torture me and let me prove I won't talk! I'll never tell! Nyah nyah nyah! What's a Freudian slip anyway? Are you callin me a crossdresser? I prefer soft nighties to slips anyway. Ooops! I shouldn't have told you that...:p Brian __________________ Never be afraid to tell the world who you are. -- Anonymous

07-17-2002, 03:04 AM	#15
jaguar whig Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 5,075	sexual innuendo overload.. Meh. Half the fun of sex is before and after, i'm not feeling threatened yet. maggie that last comment reminded me of this song __________________ Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. - Twain

07-13-2002, 05:54 PM	#2
Nic Name retired Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Toronto, Canada Posts: 1,930	I'm sure there's a place for these things. I just don't think I'd put one in the cellar.

07-13-2002, 07:25 PM	#3
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	(shrug) It does nothing for me, but maybe it will stimulate conversation.

07-13-2002, 10:42 PM	#5
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	sex toys in the cellar??? Wait, wait... let me figure this out... is somebody supposed to post and say that they used to have one of these, but they didn't like it, so they threw it out the back door?

07-14-2002, 11:56 PM	#11
juju no one of consequence Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Arkansas Posts: 2,839	Sorry.. sometimes I just can't resist. I will try to restrain myself in the future. :)

07-15-2002, 12:42 AM	#13
Nothing But Net Professor Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Spring, Texas Posts: 1,481	Sure, it can provide sexual pleasure that no man could possibly top, but who are you gonna call when the dyke is leaking?

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