Dear Red States ...

Maui Nick · 10-23-2008, 05:01 PM

From Best of Craigslist:

Dear Red States...

We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon,Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy b*****ds believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.

Peace out,
Blue States

Sundae · 10-23-2008, 05:13 PM

I know it's horribly biased. But because it suits my own bias (politically) I do find it funny.

Griff · 10-24-2008, 05:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl

I know it's horribly biased. But because it suits my own bias (politically) I do find it funny.

It is an oldy though, Eliott Spitzer was driven out of office for using prostitutes while prosecuting same.

lookout123 · 10-24-2008, 10:19 AM

I read this thread yesterday and while I recognize that it is meant to be humorous I found myself shaking my head at the very real mindset behind the humor. It seems that being a social and/or fiscal conservative in this country is now synonymous with being a poorly educated hick who has been fooled by the rich, white robber barons - or worse - actually being one of the robber barons.

A very good friend of mine was recently bitching about the idiocy found in red states. Rednecks. Racists. Selfish rich people. On and on he went about the idiocy... even though he lives squarely in the middle of suburban Illinois and is surrounded by the very things he loathes in red states. He has only lived in the middle of that very blue state, but he knows the evil of the red. He knows anyone who supports McCain is either evil or stupid. He knows anyone who opposes higher taxes is selfish and anti-middle class. He knows anyone who doesn't demand an immediate withdrawal of our troops from the middle east is truly anti-american. He knows all of these things because he is a tolerant, open minded, well educated, progressive, black man. He knows that those are the evils of the red, so he enthusiastically supports Obama who will confront those evils head on.

Those were my thoughts after reading this thread. Then last night we had dinner at a local (read as tiny, authentic, hole in the wall) mexican joint. The kids were bugging the shit out of me so I started drifting. In the booth behind me was a mexican couple with their two kids and an adult friend. I listened to them calmly and rationally speak to their friend about why they were supporting McCain. They spoke about immigration policy, taxes, and social issues. They laughed at Palin but said it was cool that a nutty chick from the boondocks could possibly make it to the White House. I didn't agree with all their points, but I thought to myself, "these people certainly don't fit the currently popular stereotype of conservatives."

At the booth next to us was a table full of middle age white couples. They were also talking politics. One couple supported Obama. They were rational about it. They simply believed that taking more from the rich to help the poor was the right thing to do. Their friends calmly and rationally gave their opinion on why their fiscally conservative ideas were better. They were all friendly, intelligent, well-spoken people.

I live in a red state. Extremely dysfunctional, but red. I am fiscal conservative and a socially moderate/conservative. I'm educated. I'm fairly intelligent. I have all my teeth and rarely say nuke-u-ler. I find the arrogance found in the attitudes that generate 'humor' as found above extremely grating and yet pervasive. I respect nearly everyone in the cellar. Most are very intelligent and genuinely thoughtful people... except when it comes to this issue. The board is still largely flavored by Philly with seasoning coming from England. Most of the people who visit and decide to stay in the cellar are very comfortable with the left of center beliefs (firmly and proudly blue). That's cool, I don't have an issue with what anyone chooses to believe. I do have to say though it is incredibly disappointing when the condescension gets as thick as it is right now. Because most of you are blue you probably don't even see it. I lol'd when I read someone's post about how they haven't met ANYONE who supports McCain... really? Think about it. Maybe that has to do more with your insular environment than the actual beliefs of the country.

This post is longer than I intended, but my point is one I've made many times in the last four years. Two people can look at the same data and come to different conclusions about the best course of action without one of those people necessarily being stupid, uneducated, racist, or any other derogatory term thrown about now. We each have our internal, personal framework of right/wrong, good/better/best. We each have different areas of knowledge and experience. We each have different processing abilities - emotional/logical. All of those specifics make up the individual framework through which all data must pass. That framework will dictate what the conclusion is based on innumerable variables. Coming to different conclusions based on the same data does not require one individual to be superior to the other.

This has been a Public Service Announcement.

Spexxvet · 10-27-2008, 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lookout123

... Two people can look at the same data and come to different conclusions about the best course of action without one of those people necessarily being stupid, uneducated, racist, or any other derogatory term thrown about now...

What makes it harder is when a candidate says something like this

Quote:

"We believe that the best of America is in these small towns that we get to visit, and in these wonderful little pockets of what I call the real America, being here with all of you hard working very patriotic, um, very, um, pro-America areas of this great nation."

She continued: "This is where we find the kindness and the goodness and the courage of everyday Americans. Those who are running our factories and teaching our kids and growing our food and are fighting our wars for us. Those who are protecting us in uniform. Those who are protecting the virtues of freedom."

What are the rest of us - chopped liver?

TheMercenary · 10-27-2008, 06:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spexxvet

What makes it harder is when a candidate says something like this

Well when you have Obama saying stuff like this:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008...selections2008

what's the difference?

Urbane Guerrilla · 10-28-2008, 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spexxvet

What are the rest of us - chopped liver?

The short answer is: What are the rest of you? You sure as hell aren't shooting at the fascists/communists, and did you at any time ever do so? If you ever have done so, how is it that you refuse to continue? Evil and misgovernance are still out there, still stunting lives and killing people whose one sin is to hold an unpopular opinion... in a tyranny, that gets you killed. Unless you get the tyrant first.

Which works for me, and has since I had any awareness of the outside world, so that's from about age seven.

HungLikeJesus · 10-23-2008, 05:26 PM

But on a county basis it looks more like this (2004):

dar512 · 10-23-2008, 05:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HungLikeJesus

But on a county basis it looks more like this (2004):

Is there a better argument for doing away with the electoral college?

TheMercenary · 10-24-2008, 09:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dar512

Is there a better argument for doing away with the electoral college?

No, there is no good argument for doing away with the electoral college.

Urbane Guerrilla · 10-23-2008, 10:04 PM

County by county, both Hollywood and Yosemite are located in the fifty-fifty zones. Hee hee!

Sundae · 10-24-2008, 10:29 AM

I do appreciate what you're saying Lookout. And I am also a great believer in listening to other people's points of view, and am often pleasantly surprised to find I am slowly turning in the direction of something I would once have rejected, just because intelligent debate has stimulated my interest. After all, most people here are further right than me, and yet I clearly enjoy the company.

I also understand why you felt you had to write that, and why you put it here.

All I'd ask (for your peace of mind) is to recognise that the only person who responded as finding it funny was me. And even I know the facts must have been skewed. Politics is a touchy subject sometimes. There are certain political issues I wouldn't want to discuss here because I know I'd be in the minority and it's not worth the grief.

I for one - and many others I'm sure - respect your political views because they are part of who you are. I reserve the right to disagree with them, but I hope I would never pigeon hole you because of them.

Hope you don't feel too marginalised.

DanaC · 10-24-2008, 10:31 AM

Capitalist pig

(:p)

TheMercenary · 10-24-2008, 10:36 AM

Damm good post LO, I share your sentiments. It seems to me that each presidential election cycle gets worse. We don't just see things differently in country, we are becoming radically divided. Those who think like you, and those who don't.

classicman · 10-24-2008, 12:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl

There are certain political issues I wouldn't want to discuss here because I know I'd be in the minority and it's not worth the grief.

Ya know what SG, Very true - Wish I had that foresight.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheMercenary

Damm good post LO, I share your sentiments. It seems to me that each presidential election cycle gets worse. We don't just see things differently in country, we are becoming radically divided. Those who think like you, and those who don't.

Thirded. To bad it has become such a divisive issue - I blame the extremists ON BOTH SIDES.

10-23-2008, 05:01 PM	#1
Maui Nick ... is not really in Maui. Weird, huh? Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Near the beach Posts: 153	Dear Red States ... From Best of Craigslist: Dear Red States... We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon,Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California. To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share. Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms. Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire. With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT. With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you. Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy b****ds believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties. By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico. Peace out, Blue States __________________ PROJECT STILL TO BE COMPLETED: Adding silly .sig.

10-23-2008, 05:13 PM	#2
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	I know it's horribly biased. But because it suits my own bias (politically) I do find it funny. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

10-24-2008, 10:19 AM	#4
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	I read this thread yesterday and while I recognize that it is meant to be humorous I found myself shaking my head at the very real mindset behind the humor. It seems that being a social and/or fiscal conservative in this country is now synonymous with being a poorly educated hick who has been fooled by the rich, white robber barons - or worse - actually being one of the robber barons. A very good friend of mine was recently bitching about the idiocy found in red states. Rednecks. Racists. Selfish rich people. On and on he went about the idiocy... even though he lives squarely in the middle of suburban Illinois and is surrounded by the very things he loathes in red states. He has only lived in the middle of that very blue state, but he knows the evil of the red. He knows anyone who supports McCain is either evil or stupid. He knows anyone who opposes higher taxes is selfish and anti-middle class. He knows anyone who doesn't demand an immediate withdrawal of our troops from the middle east is truly anti-american. He knows all of these things because he is a tolerant, open minded, well educated, progressive, black man. He knows that those are the evils of the red, so he enthusiastically supports Obama who will confront those evils head on. Those were my thoughts after reading this thread. Then last night we had dinner at a local (read as tiny, authentic, hole in the wall) mexican joint. The kids were bugging the shit out of me so I started drifting. In the booth behind me was a mexican couple with their two kids and an adult friend. I listened to them calmly and rationally speak to their friend about why they were supporting McCain. They spoke about immigration policy, taxes, and social issues. They laughed at Palin but said it was cool that a nutty chick from the boondocks could possibly make it to the White House. I didn't agree with all their points, but I thought to myself, "these people certainly don't fit the currently popular stereotype of conservatives." At the booth next to us was a table full of middle age white couples. They were also talking politics. One couple supported Obama. They were rational about it. They simply believed that taking more from the rich to help the poor was the right thing to do. Their friends calmly and rationally gave their opinion on why their fiscally conservative ideas were better. They were all friendly, intelligent, well-spoken people. I live in a red state. Extremely dysfunctional, but red. I am fiscal conservative and a socially moderate/conservative. I'm educated. I'm fairly intelligent. I have all my teeth and rarely say nuke-u-ler. I find the arrogance found in the attitudes that generate 'humor' as found above extremely grating and yet pervasive. I respect nearly everyone in the cellar. Most are very intelligent and genuinely thoughtful people... except when it comes to this issue. The board is still largely flavored by Philly with seasoning coming from England. Most of the people who visit and decide to stay in the cellar are very comfortable with the left of center beliefs (firmly and proudly blue). That's cool, I don't have an issue with what anyone chooses to believe. I do have to say though it is incredibly disappointing when the condescension gets as thick as it is right now. Because most of you are blue you probably don't even see it. I lol'd when I read someone's post about how they haven't met ANYONE who supports McCain... really? Think about it. Maybe that has to do more with your insular environment than the actual beliefs of the country. This post is longer than I intended, but my point is one I've made many times in the last four years. Two people can look at the same data and come to different conclusions about the best course of action without one of those people necessarily being stupid, uneducated, racist, or any other derogatory term thrown about now. We each have our internal, personal framework of right/wrong, good/better/best. We each have different areas of knowledge and experience. We each have different processing abilities - emotional/logical. All of those specifics make up the individual framework through which all data must pass. That framework will dictate what the conclusion is based on innumerable variables. Coming to different conclusions based on the same data does not require one individual to be superior to the other. This has been a Public Service Announcement. __________________ Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin

10-23-2008, 05:26 PM	#8
HungLikeJesus Only looks like a disaster tourist Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: above 7,000 feet Posts: 7,208	But on a county basis it looks more like this (2004): __________________ Keep Your Bodies Off My Lawn SteveDallas's Random Thread Picker.

10-23-2008, 10:04 PM	#11
Urbane Guerrilla Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Southern California Posts: 6,674	County by county, both Hollywood and Yosemite are located in the fifty-fifty zones. Hee hee! __________________ Wanna stop school shootings? End Gun-Free Zones, of course.

10-24-2008, 10:29 AM	#12
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	I do appreciate what you're saying Lookout. And I am also a great believer in listening to other people's points of view, and am often pleasantly surprised to find I am slowly turning in the direction of something I would once have rejected, just because intelligent debate has stimulated my interest. After all, most people here are further right than me, and yet I clearly enjoy the company. I also understand why you felt you had to write that, and why you put it here. All I'd ask (for your peace of mind) is to recognise that the only person who responded as finding it funny was me. And even I know the facts must have been skewed. Politics is a touchy subject sometimes. There are certain political issues I wouldn't want to discuss here because I know I'd be in the minority and it's not worth the grief. I for one - and many others I'm sure - respect your political views because they are part of who you are. I reserve the right to disagree with them, but I hope I would never pigeon hole you because of them. Hope you don't feel too marginalised. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac Last edited by Sundae; 10-24-2008 at 10:39 AM. Reason: Random semi colon

10-24-2008, 10:31 AM	#13
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	Capitalist pig (:p)

10-24-2008, 10:36 AM	#14
TheMercenary “Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo” Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Savannah, Georgia Posts: 21,393	Damm good post LO, I share your sentiments. It seems to me that each presidential election cycle gets worse. We don't just see things differently in country, we are becoming radically divided. Those who think like you, and those who don't. __________________ Anyone but the this most fuked up President in History in 2012!

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