Grimm Fairy Tale

monster · 11-23-2008, 09:28 PM

Grimm Fairy Tales

Chapter 11: The Tooth Fairy

When she awoke, the little girl excitedly swept her hand under the pillow where she had left her milky molar the night before. A momentary flash of disappointment when her fingers did not immediately connect with the expected metallic disc was soon replaced with hope as she grasped a crinkle of paper. “Finally!”, she thought, “the fairy has realized that a preteen chica needs serious spondoolics upon losing one of her few remaining milk teeth”.

But there were no dead presidents on the paper she extracted. Not even an IOU from her disorganized parents who sometimes “stepped in” when the tooth fairy was “indisposed”. Nope. What she pulled from under her pillow was a letter on headed note paper which read:

Dear Tooth Producer,

Due to current economic downturn, Tooth Fairy Inc. will no longer be leaving cash upon collection of your teeth. In order to receive payment for your tooth, you must apply in person to the Grimm Receiver who has been called in to protect our interests. Furthermore, effective immediately, there will be a collection charge for all teeth. If you do not settle the enclosed bill within 10 days, we will instruct our lawyers to place a lien on your Nintendo DS.

We do, however, expect you to continue in your tooth production and care. Please note that your requirement of tooth maintenance has increased from 2 to 20 minutes brushing per semi-daily maintenance procedure. We are confident that by working together in this way, we will still be able to present our shareholders with a profit at the end of this quarter, and our executive officers will be able to receive increased productivity bonuses.

Yours faithfully

Tooth Fairy Inc.

SteveDallas · 11-23-2008, 10:09 PM

You're mean.

monster · 11-23-2008, 10:34 PM

If you bail me out to the tune of $25B I won't be mean any more. so much...

monster · 11-23-2008, 10:35 PM

(Beest home this week on mandatory unpaid vacation.....)

classicman · 11-23-2008, 10:41 PM

That doesn't sound good.

monster · 11-23-2008, 10:44 PM

....but did you like my little story?

classicman · 11-23-2008, 10:45 PM

yes I did - was that yours or did you get it from elsewhere?

monster · 11-23-2008, 10:48 PM

I Wroted it.

monster · 11-23-2008, 10:48 PM

(the tooth fairy is due in our house tonight)

classicman · 11-23-2008, 10:49 PM

ohhhh - been many years since I dealt with that.

ZenGum · 11-23-2008, 10:51 PM

Keep the tooth. You can use it for black magic later on.

Trilby · 11-24-2008, 07:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZenGum

Keep the tooth. You can use it for black magic later on.

I like the way you think, Zen.

Scriveyn · 11-24-2008, 07:36 AM

monster, that's Triple A - ooops, sorry, I mean: splendid.

monster · 11-23-2008, 10:51 PM

I'm thinking she's on mandatory unpaid vacation too......

monster · 11-23-2008, 10:52 PM

we have many teeth stored on behalf of the TF. We are thinking of charging rental for the storage space, effective immediately and backdated....

11-23-2008, 09:28 PM	#1
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Grimm Fairy Tale Grimm Fairy Tales Chapter 11: The Tooth Fairy When she awoke, the little girl excitedly swept her hand under the pillow where she had left her milky molar the night before. A momentary flash of disappointment when her fingers did not immediately connect with the expected metallic disc was soon replaced with hope as she grasped a crinkle of paper. “Finally!”, she thought, “the fairy has realized that a preteen chica needs serious spondoolics upon losing one of her few remaining milk teeth”. But there were no dead presidents on the paper she extracted. Not even an IOU from her disorganized parents who sometimes “stepped in” when the tooth fairy was “indisposed”. Nope. What she pulled from under her pillow was a letter on headed note paper which read: Dear Tooth Producer, Due to current economic downturn, Tooth Fairy Inc. will no longer be leaving cash upon collection of your teeth. In order to receive payment for your tooth, you must apply in person to the Grimm Receiver who has been called in to protect our interests. Furthermore, effective immediately, there will be a collection charge for all teeth. If you do not settle the enclosed bill within 10 days, we will instruct our lawyers to place a lien on your Nintendo DS. We do, however, expect you to continue in your tooth production and care. Please note that your requirement of tooth maintenance has increased from 2 to 20 minutes brushing per semi-daily maintenance procedure. We are confident that by working together in this way, we will still be able to present our shareholders with a profit at the end of this quarter, and our executive officers will be able to receive increased productivity bonuses. Yours faithfully Tooth Fairy Inc. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

11-23-2008, 10:34 PM	#3
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	If you bail me out to the tune of $25B I won't be mean any more. so much... __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

11-23-2008, 10:35 PM	#4
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	(Beest home this week on mandatory unpaid vacation.....) __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

11-23-2008, 10:41 PM	#5
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	That doesn't sound good. __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

11-23-2008, 10:44 PM	#6
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	....but did you like my little story? __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

11-23-2008, 10:09 PM	#2
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	You're mean.

11-23-2008, 10:45 PM	#7
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	yes I did - was that yours or did you get it from elsewhere? __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

11-23-2008, 10:48 PM	#8
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	I Wroted it. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

11-23-2008, 10:49 PM	#10
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	ohhhh - been many years since I dealt with that. __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

11-23-2008, 10:51 PM	#11
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	Keep the tooth. You can use it for black magic later on. __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

11-24-2008, 07:36 AM	#13
Scriveyn amnesic-confabulatory opsimath Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Between my ears Posts: 739	monster, that's Triple A - ooops, sorry, I mean: splendid.

11-23-2008, 10:52 PM	#15
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	we have many teeth stored on behalf of the TF. We are thinking of charging rental for the storage space, effective immediately and backdated.... __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

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