Big Sarge Update (May)

Big Sarge · 05-26-2009, 07:43 AM

I thought it was time to give you an update on the turmoil in my life. In the past year, I have been diagnosed with Lupus and Sarcoma. My ex cleaned out my bank account and ran away with another man. Plus, she took my baby to another state and I have only seen her once in 7 mos.

Due to the financial situation, I signed a waiver and will deploy to Iraq in less than 3 weeks. When I told everyone I was in MS, I was at the MOB Center training. The military only gave me 50% disability and I have to do something to get back on my feet.

My ex got married on Saturday. She sent me a wedding photo and a message saying my daughter doesn't remember me and thinks her new husband is her daddy.

When I asked for help in seeing some photos of my daughter that were posted online, I felt like many of you thought I was stalking. I only wanted to see my baby. Now it will be another year before I can see my child. Some of you my think it is selfish for me to deploy, but it was that or be destitute. Plus, the legal fees I have incurred in my fight for my daughter have been staggering.

I hope this clears the air and maybe some of you will understand I meant no harm when I tried to get help with the photos

monster · 05-26-2009, 08:25 AM

Oh Sarge, I'm so sorry. Good luck and come back safely (and rich). I hope your ex sees the error of her ways soon.

limey · 05-26-2009, 09:08 AM

Sarge - really sorry that you're going through all this. I wish you all the luck in the world for all your battles. Come back safely.

Nirvana · 05-26-2009, 09:57 AM

That is a very sad situation but I am surprised that the military would deploy anyone that has been diagnosed with cancer and an immune system disease.

Undertoad · 05-26-2009, 10:23 AM

There is a great deal you leave out of what you tell us, Sarge, nevertheless I hope for the best outcome for you.

classicman · 05-26-2009, 12:39 PM

Good luck to you. Please be safe.

Big Sarge · 05-26-2009, 12:58 PM

It is hard for me to "bare my soul". BTW, I am cancer free. The Lupus is fairly stable, but I do have pain. As part of the waiver for deployment, I cannot use schedule II, III, or IV pain medications. I rely on tramadol.

As far as the ex goes, she has destroyed me emotionally. Have I mentioned I uncovered she was utilizing multiple online identities? She was doing cam shows and even meeting other men for sex. She posted her photos on adult web sites. She even posed in my law enforcement raid shirt (clearly marked State Agent) while using my Beretta as a dildo. She was even posing nude while pregnant. I had no clue.

When she left me, she took all of my household goods, my 2007 Pontiac Gran Am (which she traded in to buy a car for her new lover), and $26,900 from our account. I can't do a thing because I had joint accounts and both of our names were on the car title. She even forged 3 checks on my personal account after she left.

She has used my daughter as a way to inflict emotional pain. She is witholding visitation until I agree to give her full legal custody and primary physical custody. Yeah, when hell freezes over. She is using my decreased life expectancy against me. She is using my PTSD also, even though it only manifests itself in obsessive compulsive behavior. The Army ruled I am not a threat to others or myself.

Why does the Army allow me to stay? I have 22 years of experience in a critical MOS. I have a total of 5 deployments (3 combat starting with Desert Storm) and have even served as an instructor in my MOS training mobilizing units. The Army is giving me a rather nice office job on a major airfield, so I won't have to worry about kicking doors, etc. To tell the truth, I'm ready to hang it up, but I can't.

As far as my fitness as a parent goes, I have 3 other children (one bi-racial). I've been a Cub Scout Pack Leader, DARE Officer, GREAT Officer, and was even selected as Man of the Year for one of the largest cities in my state.

I know this is quite a rant, but I hope it better explains the situation. To tell you the truth, it has made me feel better to get this off my chest. BTW, I know some of the things sound incredible, but I am more than willing to email court documents to one of the moderators. I just don't want ya'll thinking I am the bad guy. The only thing I have left at this point is my reputation

Undertoad · 05-26-2009, 01:13 PM

Well now THAT is a CLEAR violation of the four rules of gun safety.

You are clearly dealing here with someone who grew up with some form of abuse and who wants to produce a lot of havoc in her life... the kind of life she grew up with. The other guy isn't the lucky one... YOU'RE the lucky one to get away from that shit. Who knows what kind of worse crap she would have inflicted on you, had she more time. The reason she left you is that you were too sane and normal for her.

I don't think you're the bad guy Sarge and this further detail shows it. Thank you for it. The truth shall set you free, you got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one.

Only nine hostile deaths in Iraq this month. It would be better if it was zero but your odds are improving as the country improves. Thank you again for your continued service.

Beestie · 05-26-2009, 01:28 PM

I'm no lawyer but it sounds to me like you wouldn't have too much trouble winning a custody battle. Can't the Army furnish you with some legal support or refer you to a legal agency who can assist you on affordable terms?

Sounds to me like you have a mountain of evidence to support a claim for sole custody.

I hope you return safely from Iraq.

Perry Winkle · 05-26-2009, 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beestie

I'm no lawyer but it sounds to me like you wouldn't have too much trouble winning a custody battle. Can't the Army furnish you with some legal support or refer you to a legal agency who can assist you on affordable terms?

I worked as a programmer at the Army JAG Corps for a couple of months. From what I recall, soldiers can get a lot of support from them. Much of it pro bono.

classicman · 05-26-2009, 01:40 PM

What UT said. Getting AWAY from her is obviously very painful, but also a good thing. She is not who nor what you thought she was.
Here is my 2 cents...

I would get documentation of everything ASAP.

1)The pictures/websites have to be copied. They will be worth an awful lot in a custody battle. PRINT OUT HARDCOPIES!

2)Ask the bank for actual copies, if not the originals, of the checks. (I got mine when needed in a VERY similar circumstance) The difference in the handwriting will be clearly apparent.

3)Lastly a copy of the car title, signed by her when the sale took place. Your local DMV office should be able to help you access this part.

regular.joe · 05-26-2009, 04:12 PM

Sarge,

I leave for Iraq sometime in the beginning of July. Let me know where you will be, I'll look you up. I will be hanging out around Balad. My Chew door will always be open amigo. The coffee pot is always on.

Big Sarge · 05-26-2009, 05:12 PM

I'll be up the road at Q-West.

classicman · 05-26-2009, 05:37 PM

Both of you need to let us know how to contact you, send care packages... whatever.
PM me if you do not want that info to be posted on the interwebs.

Pie · 05-27-2009, 08:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by classicman

Both of you need to let us know how to contact you, send care packages... whatever.
PM me if you do not want that info to be posted on the interwebs.

Seconded! Best wishes to both of you.

05-26-2009, 07:43 AM	#1
Big Sarge Werepandas - lurking in your shadows Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: In the Deep South Posts: 3,408	Big Sarge Update (May) I thought it was time to give you an update on the turmoil in my life. In the past year, I have been diagnosed with Lupus and Sarcoma. My ex cleaned out my bank account and ran away with another man. Plus, she took my baby to another state and I have only seen her once in 7 mos. Due to the financial situation, I signed a waiver and will deploy to Iraq in less than 3 weeks. When I told everyone I was in MS, I was at the MOB Center training. The military only gave me 50% disability and I have to do something to get back on my feet. My ex got married on Saturday. She sent me a wedding photo and a message saying my daughter doesn't remember me and thinks her new husband is her daddy. When I asked for help in seeing some photos of my daughter that were posted online, I felt like many of you thought I was stalking. I only wanted to see my baby. Now it will be another year before I can see my child. Some of you my think it is selfish for me to deploy, but it was that or be destitute. Plus, the legal fees I have incurred in my fight for my daughter have been staggering. I hope this clears the air and maybe some of you will understand I meant no harm when I tried to get help with the photos __________________ Give a man a match, & he'll be warm for 20 seconds. But toss that man a white phosphorus grenade and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

05-26-2009, 08:25 AM	#2
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Oh Sarge, I'm so sorry. Good luck and come back safely (and rich). I hope your ex sees the error of her ways soon. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

05-26-2009, 09:08 AM	#3
limey Encroaching on your decrees Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland Posts: 7,016	Sarge - really sorry that you're going through all this. I wish you all the luck in the world for all your battles. Come back safely. __________________ Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of

05-26-2009, 09:57 AM	#4
Nirvana Back in 10 Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 3,684	That is a very sad situation but I am surprised that the military would deploy anyone that has been diagnosed with cancer and an immune system disease. __________________ Speaking simply... do not confuse this with having a simple mind.

05-26-2009, 12:39 PM	#6
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	Good luck to you. Please be safe. __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

05-26-2009, 10:23 AM	#5
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	There is a great deal you leave out of what you tell us, Sarge, nevertheless I hope for the best outcome for you.

05-26-2009, 12:58 PM	#7
Big Sarge Werepandas - lurking in your shadows Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: In the Deep South Posts: 3,408	It is hard for me to "bare my soul". BTW, I am cancer free. The Lupus is fairly stable, but I do have pain. As part of the waiver for deployment, I cannot use schedule II, III, or IV pain medications. I rely on tramadol. As far as the ex goes, she has destroyed me emotionally. Have I mentioned I uncovered she was utilizing multiple online identities? She was doing cam shows and even meeting other men for sex. She posted her photos on adult web sites. She even posed in my law enforcement raid shirt (clearly marked State Agent) while using my Beretta as a dildo. She was even posing nude while pregnant. I had no clue. When she left me, she took all of my household goods, my 2007 Pontiac Gran Am (which she traded in to buy a car for her new lover), and $26,900 from our account. I can't do a thing because I had joint accounts and both of our names were on the car title. She even forged 3 checks on my personal account after she left. She has used my daughter as a way to inflict emotional pain. She is witholding visitation until I agree to give her full legal custody and primary physical custody. Yeah, when hell freezes over. She is using my decreased life expectancy against me. She is using my PTSD also, even though it only manifests itself in obsessive compulsive behavior. The Army ruled I am not a threat to others or myself. Why does the Army allow me to stay? I have 22 years of experience in a critical MOS. I have a total of 5 deployments (3 combat starting with Desert Storm) and have even served as an instructor in my MOS training mobilizing units. The Army is giving me a rather nice office job on a major airfield, so I won't have to worry about kicking doors, etc. To tell the truth, I'm ready to hang it up, but I can't. As far as my fitness as a parent goes, I have 3 other children (one bi-racial). I've been a Cub Scout Pack Leader, DARE Officer, GREAT Officer, and was even selected as Man of the Year for one of the largest cities in my state. I know this is quite a rant, but I hope it better explains the situation. To tell you the truth, it has made me feel better to get this off my chest. BTW, I know some of the things sound incredible, but I am more than willing to email court documents to one of the moderators. I just don't want ya'll thinking I am the bad guy. The only thing I have left at this point is my reputation __________________ Give a man a match, & he'll be warm for 20 seconds. But toss that man a white phosphorus grenade and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

05-26-2009, 01:13 PM	#8
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Well now THAT is a CLEAR violation of the four rules of gun safety. You are clearly dealing here with someone who grew up with some form of abuse and who wants to produce a lot of havoc in her life... the kind of life she grew up with. The other guy isn't the lucky one... YOU'RE the lucky one to get away from that shit. Who knows what kind of worse crap she would have inflicted on you, had she more time. The reason she left you is that you were too sane and normal for her. I don't think you're the bad guy Sarge and this further detail shows it. Thank you for it. The truth shall set you free, you got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one. Only nine hostile deaths in Iraq this month. It would be better if it was zero but your odds are improving as the country improves. Thank you again for your continued service.

05-26-2009, 01:28 PM	#9
Beestie -◊\|≡·∙■·∙≡\|◊- Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Parts unknown. Posts: 4,081	I'm no lawyer but it sounds to me like you wouldn't have too much trouble winning a custody battle. Can't the Army furnish you with some legal support or refer you to a legal agency who can assist you on affordable terms? Sounds to me like you have a mountain of evidence to support a claim for sole custody. I hope you return safely from Iraq. __________________ ♠ ♥ ♣ ♦

05-26-2009, 01:40 PM	#11
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	What UT said. Getting AWAY from her is obviously very painful, but also a good thing. She is not who nor what you thought she was. Here is my 2 cents... I would get documentation of everything ASAP. 1)The pictures/websites have to be copied. They will be worth an awful lot in a custody battle. PRINT OUT HARDCOPIES! 2)Ask the bank for actual copies, if not the originals, of the checks. (I got mine when needed in a VERY similar circumstance) The difference in the handwriting will be clearly apparent. 3)Lastly a copy of the car title, signed by her when the sale took place. Your local DMV office should be able to help you access this part. __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

05-26-2009, 04:12 PM	#12
regular.joe Старый сержант Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: NC, dreaming of large Russian women. Posts: 1,464	Sarge, I leave for Iraq sometime in the beginning of July. Let me know where you will be, I'll look you up. I will be hanging out around Balad. My Chew door will always be open amigo. The coffee pot is always on. __________________ Birth, wealth, and position are valueless during wartime. Man is only judged by his character --Soldier's Testament. Death, like birth, is a secret of Nature. - Marcus Aurelius.

05-26-2009, 05:12 PM	#13
Big Sarge Werepandas - lurking in your shadows Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: In the Deep South Posts: 3,408	I'll be up the road at Q-West. __________________ Give a man a match, & he'll be warm for 20 seconds. But toss that man a white phosphorus grenade and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

05-26-2009, 05:37 PM	#14
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	Both of you need to let us know how to contact you, send care packages... whatever. PM me if you do not want that info to be posted on the interwebs. __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

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